Page 65 of To Scale the Emerald Mountain
“That is it?” I ask disappointed, pulling my arm away from her.
She nods grimly. “That’s it.”
“Any inclination of when this will happen?”
There are no clear indicators of when this will take place, other than Ellya wearing clothes suited for warm weather. That means little given that it is always warm in Quinndohs. Ellya will not age much past where she is now for centuries to come, and Mhaylene is wearing the exact same loose, purple dress she has worn every single day that I have known her—no variation. She told me many years ago that she does this on purpose, giving herself less reason to look forward to something based on her clothing. I curse myself for having very little variation in my own wardrobe outside of my royal regalia for official functions.
Mhaylene places a comforting hand on my shoulder. “You could sit here for years trying to get in. But you already know that willnot change what is to come. Everything will happen the way it is meant to, when it is meant to.”
With all the respect I have for this woman, I do not have the patience to listen to her infuriatingly true words on how what has been Seen cannot be changed.
Taking one last moment to stare in the direction of the house, my heart longs painfully to hold what is just beyond my reach. Even to be able to just see Ellya—to put my eyes on her and see that she is alright.
Turning back to Mhaylene, I nod once before making my way to my study at the palace.
CHAPTER TWENTY
ALEC
The moment I get back, I trash the room to match exactly what I saw in Mhaylene’s vision. After feeling certain it is right, I put the alcohol to use and start to drink. I revel in the burn as whiskey scorches a path down my throat. It brings me a moment’s reprieve, briefly filling me with the warmth I am so desperately craving, but it never lasts long.
I just chase it with another.
Making the scene match will not make Ellya come to me any sooner, but it brings me a semblance of comfort knowing that the setting is right. I leave briefly during the day to bathe, change, or see to my kingly duties, only making brief appearances at council meetings.
Before Father died, but was too overtaken with his own ideas, Mother had gotten used to ruling in his stead. I am eternally grateful for her, as well as my youngest sister Cescily for stepping up for me during this nightmare fiasco. They have done so happily, with nothing but grace. Everyone was devastated on learning what Locane had done. We grieved together over his mental deterioration and when he fled; we grieved together again over his recent treachery.
Although there is a long history of kings losing their minds in this family, a positive is the gift that is passed through the line. Themagic of the Vahnsing’s allows for someone else to sit the throne while everyone sees the face of the king they expect and hear his voice.
The King of Quinndohs finding a queen is a crucial decision. Queens often end up taking over in the end. The title of king being more of a figurehead nearly as often as not is a well-kept family secret. Mother teaching Cescily, and some of my other siblings, the ways of ruling was an added insurance. Mother does not have the mental gift that was passed from Father, but there is always an heir around to extend the magic when needed. Another thing our family is known for, having many children. I am the second of nine.
My duties as king have been my priority since taking the throne, making a point to rule and not fall back on the women of this family who do not get the credit they deserve. It is cruel. Just another reason why I was so adamant on Ellya carving her own path after I briefly entertained the idea of having her raised here. Ellya may just end up sitting in the same place Mother has one day; but the Fates made that choice for her.
Making a point to uphold my responsibilities during the day, I often find myself drawn back to the study even before the sun has gone down. Every night I anxiously hope that it will bethenight. I am met with disappointment again and again.
I have essentially lived in this gods forsaken study for going on three moons.
My fear and anxiety grows with each day that Ellya does not come, worried that Mhaylene’s vision was somehow incorrect. Or perhaps I will be waiting here for Ellya for years. The animalistic rage that I felt in the first moons cycle has faded. The madness that I thought had come for me in those first days has long since abated.But much more of this agonizing anticipation will surely drive me right back to it.
I regularly curse Mhaylene for even telling me, often wondering if being completely unaware would have been better. This waiting is torture. The days drip by like cold molasses, and I am unable to focus on anything to try to pass the time.
Sleep still eludes me. When I do manage to drift off it is only during daytime hours, and I only allow it to take me under while I am in my study. My fear is that if I fall asleep elsewhere, I will not wake up in time and will throw off the trajectory of what is to come.
Cabin fever is well and truly setting in now; the pressing of the walls have me jumping at the slightest movements. Mhaylene staged an intervention from my mother, Cescily, Kraeston, and my brother Caison. All of them begged me to leave the palace for a day after I got angry with Mhaylene for not being willing to commit to being in the study every night like I have. Her excuse of, “Everything will happen as it should, when it should,” finally sent me over the brink. I screamed at her in a fit of rage, throwing my glass of whiskey against the wall right by her head.
When I came down from my raging, I was filled with ugly shame over the way I had reacted to Mhaylene. None of this is her fault, and though it pains me to hear the words every time she says them, I know that it is true.
I am not acting myself.
Because I felt like it was the only proper apology to Mhaylene after my outburst, I begrudgingly left this morning, applying a glamour to not be recognized. While I love my people, I am not in the mindset to socialize as king. Although I did not stay out long, I can admit it helped. My head is lighter and the suffocatingclaustrophobia of being inside too long eases. When I do go back into the palace, the walls are no longer closing in on me.
I pass the rest of the day reading and writing in a sitting room downstairs—my bottle of whiskey not far away. Cescily joins me briefly before moving along to more enjoyable company. As the sun begins to fade into the promises of dusk, I am calmer than I can remember being since starting my vigil, not heading back to my post with the haste I usually do. The sun has nearly set by the time I go upstairs.
Opening the door to the study, I am surprised to see Mhaylene there waiting. She takes me in and smiles. “You look a little better than you did this morning. I’m glad the fresh air helped.”
I scowl at her. “Was that supposed to be a compliment?”
She grimaces then shakes her head back and forth considering her words. “Not a compliment. Maybe praise? But you could have changed.” Mhaylene wrinkles her nose in distaste at the unkempt state of my clothing. I have been an absolute mess.
