Page 72 of To Scale the Emerald Mountain
I don’t understand what changed.
Alec’s tension was palpable before he came through the door of my room after going to speak with Father, much later than anticipated. It didn’t stop the smile that had been plastered to my face while I waited for him to return to me. When I turned to him and saw his guarded expression, my silly grin instantly fell away. Watching him expectantly, I waited for him to say something.
All he did was lean against the door frame, studying me closely with guarded eyes.
“What?” I demanded with a bite.
“I am afraid I spoke prematurely earlier, my clove.”
My heart was instantly filled with icy hurt. I knew what was coming. “Do not try to soften me with your nickname,” I told him with a hiss.
Alec’s shoulders slumped before he offered me a weak apology. “I am sorry, Ellya,” he told me with obvious regret, but it didn’t ease the fist around my heart.
“Why?” I asked, trying to hold in tears.
“Something has come up. I am afraid we must wait just a little bit longer.” A sorry, inadequate excuse.
“What could possibly be more important, Alec?” He didn’t answer me, and I continued in sad desperation. “I won’t be in your way. I can spend time with Cescily while you’re busy.”
A small tear slid down my cheek, and he deflated further. Alec finally uncrossed his arms and moved from the doorframe to close the distance between us.
“You could never be in my way, Elly.” Alecplaced his hands on my shoulders and began to run them down my arms gently, placating. “But it is not that simple.”
My anger bubbled over. I swatted his hands away and began to turn my back to him. “It is that simple!” I screamed, turning back to face him fully again. “Tell me why!” I cried harder as he watched me, not speaking.
“I will be back for you,” he promised me softly, avoiding explanation.
Alec had given me those words too many times, always with the assurance of when I reached full maturity. He lied. That time has come, and he dangled the promise of giving me what I’ve been dreaming of to turn around and snatch it away.
I slapped him across the cheek with a sharp sting. Alec took the hit willingly, which only made me angrier. I hit him again, harder, making blood pulse in my palm.
“You have been telling me that for years!” I became nearly hysterical, hot tears splashing down my face. “Do you get off on this? Do you enjoy watching me pine for you while you deny me being with you? Do you even want me at all?”
My question struck Alec hard; his already visible guilt and regret deepened. But not enough to ease my suffering.
“You know that you are all I want, Ellya.”
Hugging my arms around my body, I tried to hold myself together as my heart cracked. “Just leave.” My eyes closed, willing him to walk away instead of sticking around just long enough to watch me come undone in my heartbreak.
“Elly.” Alec’s voice was pleading.
“Just leave,” I said again. “Like you always do.” I heard him swallow when my words hit him, harder than any blow I could land with my hands.
“I will be back for you.” His choked voice was barely a whisper.
My eyes snapped open to shoot him an icy glare. “If you leave here without me again, don’t bother coming back, Alec.”
“I promise you, Elly, this is not what I want. I am just as eager to start our lives together. You know that. You are all that matters to me.”
Fat tears rolled down my cheeks as his expression told me that nothing I said would make the outcome any different.
“Fuck off, Alec. Just go. In fact—I’m glad that you’re leaving. I don’t want a life with a man who won’t hold to his promises. I hope you burn in your fucking lies.” My own lie came out easily. I could never truly imagine my life without Alec. He’s all that matters, the same as he told me. But I was embarrassed and wanted to just be alone to break.
Not waiting for him to say anything, I turned away again as tears continued to run down my face. I tried to swallow down the frantic hiccups working their way up my throat.
“I love you. And I will be back,” Alec offered me, emotion stifling his words. “I am sorry.”
The door closed softly behind him.
