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I only get up to relieve myself, otherwise staying curled up in bed with blankets around the top of my head. Even when I’m awake, I lay there hoping to go back to sleep just to avoid my thoughts and ebbing reality.

At some point, all the clothes I threw out the window returned to their original spot. I learned that making Kraeston go fetch some in the first place was pointless—as there’s a whole dressing room filled with clothes attached to my bathing chamber.

Nana has taken to sleeping on the couch of the adjoined sitting room after I had a fit of screaming the night I sent Alec away. I’m not sure if I was asleep or awake, but the overwhelming sense of being lost hit me, and I began clawing at the walls, unsure of where I was. I came to with Nana shaking me. She held me and assured me that her arms were reality.

It took a while for me to believe her.

I haven’t fought back about her sleeping in my room. I’m not sure I have any fight in me currently for anything. Other than when she tries to make me eat. Italways ends with me taking a few begrudging bites just to convince Nana to leave me to my solitude for a few hours.

On the fourth day, I’m woken by a sharp tap on the top of my head.

“Ow!” I yell, rubbing the spot.

“Rise and shine, Elly!” Kraeston says merrily. I shoot him a glare before wrapping back up in my satin cocoon. He hits me on the top of the head again. “Time to get up.”

Turning over, I glower at him.

Kraeston taps me on my forehead with whatever implement he’s holding—a wooden staff. “Time to get up,” he repeats.

“I don’t want to.” My body wiggles deeper into my nest, making no effort to rise.

“Oh, come on, Elly. You’ve never turned down a fight. Show me what you’ve got. It’s been a long time.” He taps me again playfully.

“I don’t want to,” I say with more emphasis.

“I know you don’t, but staying in bed forever is not an option.” Kraeston goes to my exposed wardrobe, flips through the garments, and chooses something for me to wear. He throws the clothes to me and says, “I’ll wait outside while you bathe. You stink.”

“You can’t just barge in here and demand that I bathe and follow!” I bellow with incredulity.

“Should I send your mate in here to convince you to get out of bed then?” he asks with a knowing smile. “Or Mhaylene? From what I’ve heard, you’ve been enjoying her conversations nearly as much as Alec’s.”

The little color I have in my face drains.

“That’s what I thought. I’ll give you twenty minutes before I send them in. Maybe together. I wish I could have been a fly on thewall the last time that happened.” Kraeston chuckles to himself as he makes his way out of the room.

After the door closes, I don’t move and consider ignoring him. As much as I dread leaving my small safety net, I dread even more the idea of being alone with Alec. Especially after our last interaction.

I take little time to bathe and change. A sleeveless, heather gray shirt and matching cotton pants hang sadly off my body, proving everyone’s concern with my lack of appetite is founded, but I can’t stop my stomach from being filled with leaden acid every time I try to eat. I’ve practically been living off honeyed tea and small bites of fruit for the last several days.

I’m sure physical training will be a blast.

Twisting my wet hair, I pile it on top of my head, securing it tight—the mass of hair feels heavy on my weakened neck. When I swing the door open, it bangs against the wall, showing my displeasure in a childish fit.

Kraeston is unbothered.

“Happy?” A sneer curls my lips.

“Getting there,” he answers cheerfully and then extends something wrapped in brown paper. “You can eat on our way to the training pitch.”

“I’m not hungry.” My arms cross over my chest, refusing his offering.

Kraeston unfurls a hand and plops the paper down, closing my fingers around it. Inside the paper is a fluffy cinnamon roll.

“Yes, you are. Eat, or again, I can get Alec to come convince you.”

Shoving Kraeston’s arm, I begin walking towards the staircase, taking the lead despite not knowing where I’m going.

“We will get some protein in you when we finish.” Kraeston claps me on the shoulder—buckling my knees—and strides ahead of me.