Page 32 of August Heat
“It’s not everyone.” Krys didn’t know how she got that out so calmly, God knew she wanted nothing else but to shake Siobhan by the shoulders and try to rattle some sense into her head. Yet Siobhan didn’t need that. What she needed was some kindness. Some tenderness. Someone who could prove, once and for all, that there was real love to be had out there. “It’s you.Youand that spineless, cheatin’ ex you had. I’m sorry, hon. Nobody should have to go through that. I wish I could wipe that all away for you, but I can’t. So you’ll have to trust me. So help me God, if I turn out to be another untrustworthy person in your life, that’s all on me. Not you. It saysnothingabout you.”
Had she finally pressed upon the real issue plaguing poor Siobhan’s heart?It’s never been about me. It’s always been about her and the pain she feels when she looks at someone like me.Krys had seen pictures of Emily, mostly to confirm that, no, she had never dated that person, either unwittingly or not. They didn’t look that much alike, but maybe they had similar personalities. Was that what Siobhan saw when she hung out with Krys? A personality that made her ill?
“All I ask for is a chance.” When Krys pulled back and looked down again, she met the hopeful face of a woman in pain. How long had Siobhan held this inside of her? How much did she repress to keep her sanity over the years? She had never properly expunged it, had she?She’s so tough. She’s tougher than me. She’s too tough for her own good.How could a woman be expected to heal and move on if she kept those feelings inside of her, never to properly deal with them until it was too late?
Siobhan stepped back and wiped the tears from her face. “I don’t have a lot of chances left to give.”
“I’m not saying we’re gonna be together forever, Chev. We’re still getting to know each other. Maybe we’ve got something here. Maybe we’re gonna fizzle out by the end of the year. How are we gonna know if we don’t try, though? Would you rather part ways now and never try? Or do you want to prove to yourself that you’ve got what it takes to move on from that asshole who broke your heart?”
Siobhan’s eyes darted back and forth, as if she searched for the answer written somewhere on Krys’s T-shirt. “You’re right. Of course you’re right. I don’t… I don’t want to live the rest of my life wondering what the hell I’m waiting for. It’s been a few years, yeah? Maybe it’s time to address what’s left in my heart and move the hell on.”
“You don’t have to do it alone.”
“I don’t know why you’re so insistent about being around me, Madison.” Krys had already gotten used to the way Siobhan said that name. Soundednothinglike the way the crew at work said it, yet somehow she retained the same sarcastic bite every time she looked Krys in the eye and called her by her last name.Doesn’t matter if her eyes are puffy and red. She’s got that bite.Krys always knew she needed a woman with a little teeth on her. It was the only way to keep her in line!
“I admit, I was first taken in by your exponential beauty.” Whew. There was Krys’s three-dollar word for the day.Watch out. I might come out looking too educated for this town. Maybe not educated enough for a doctor, though.“Then you opened your mouth and only made me want you more.”
“God knows why.”
“Do you really need an explanation? Sometimes you gotta let nature take its course, girl.”
“I hear you do a lot of that.”
Siobhan was back to her biting commentary, but it was better than the tears and denials of their mutual attraction. She could be as snarky as she wanted if she kept up that smile and batting eyelashes that brought Krys back into a light and loving embrace.
“I’m a fan of going with the flow, yeah, but it’s not only my flow I’ve gotta heed. When someone else is in the picture, we’ve got our own mutual flow, yeah?”
With her head cocked to one side, Siobhan asked, “Do you want to shut up and come upstairs with me?”
Hello. Moving quite quickly all of a sudden, aren’t we?Krys was game, but she also knew that Siobhan was in a fragile, emotional state. Hormones could be set aside to make sense of emotions, yes? “I wanna come upstairs, yeah,” Krys said with a bite of her own. “But I don’t feel like shutting up. Got too many flows to talk about.”
“I can’t tell if you’re making me think about yoga or my period.”
“Yourperiod? Pfft. Was talking about mine.”
Siobhan’s hand lingered in Krys’s as she turned around and slowly walked to the staircase. “Get the hell upstairs, would you?”
Her intent was impossible to read after that flurry of emotions. Yet Krys knew that, as long as she kept her cool, she could navigate anything heading her way. Even a woman who might be acting a little too quickly.
Yet Siobhan didn’t have carnal intent on the mind. As soon as they were in her room and the door softly clicked behind them, Siobhan crawled onto her mussed bed and gestured for Krys to join her.
This wasn’t how Krys planned on spooning her new girlfriend for the first time, but she wasn’t opposed to it. Siobhan was so soft in her thin bathrobe that it was as good as making love. One arm over her. Nose in her mess of hair and searching for the back of her neck. Krys almost forgot to take off her shoes before climbing onto the bed. She also tried not to think about the fact that this was probably the bed Siobhan once shared with Emily – and that Krys was probably the first lover to lie in it since.
“I guess it isn’t so bad letting go sometimes,” Siobhan whispered.
“Yeah, only do it sometimes. Otherwise you might enjoy life a little too much.”
That inspired Siobhan to turn over, her lips close enough to kiss. Somehow, Krys refrained. “You’re infuriating.”
“You’re the one who invited me into your bed.”
“You saying I only have myself to blame?”
“No, ma’am,” Krys said with a snort. “I’m saying that you can’t blamemeif I hold onto a little hope here. You’re so cool it almost tears me up inside. I keep thinking about how much I’ve gotta kiss you.”
“You’vegotta?”
“I’ve gotta, yeah.”
