Page 29 of September Lessons
Sighing, Leigh-Ann flung herself into a new pile of straw with a mighty huff.I need to change the subject. Throw this back at her somehow…No, Leigh-Ann wouldn’t be low enough to attack Carrie’s sexuality, let alone her confidence in it.So confident that she slept with the principal’s daughter… hismarrieddaughter.Go figure.
“Wait… you think your cousin is one of the firebugs setting arsons ablaze around town…” Yeah, thatwasa good point! Leigh-Ann was on a good roll here! “So you brought me to a barn that he might be targeting next?”
“I don’t know what he’s targeting, or if it’s him and or if he’s along with some of his buddies. All I know is that he’s up to no good, and now he’s dragging Christina into it.” Carrie shoved the bag of trash to the side before kicking some of the straw beneath her feet. “I didn’t move somewhere to start over only to have my cousin get rumors started that I’m the one doing it. I’ll own up to the shit I did back home, but I ain’t going to jail for him.”
“So what are you gonna do?”
Carrie glanced out the opened barn door. A light drizzle had come and gone while they were in there, but the sun was back out again. A warm sun? Not as much that time of year. Leigh-Ann should be appreciating the sunlight while she could, before the long, dark winter settled in and forced kids like them to take matters to their homes, where parents were always afoot and snooping in on what they were doing.
“I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” Carrie finally said. “Kick his ass is what Ishoulddo, but I need proof before I implicate him to his parents or any authority. Guess I’m here because I wanted to see if he was sniffing around.”
“With Christina?”
“I may or may not be pissed because she rejected me only to turn around and make out with my cousin. Whom I feel responsible with introducing to her because… well, it’s a long story, but it had to do with the party.”
“He was at the party? How could he be there and lighting the fire that night?”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out.” Carrie plopped down next to Leigh-Ann. Her body heat was instantly palpable. Leigh-Ann attempted to not think about it, but the more she pretended it wasn’t there, the more she felt it. What was that feeling in her stomach? Nah. Those weren’t butterflies. She wasn’t throwing herself upon the altar of ultimate crushdom. Not so soon after talking about what happened with Christina. To the both of them! “Considering how quickly that deputy heard about it, I wouldn’t put it past him for lighting it and then coming straight to the party. The only question is… did he come to the party to have an alibi? Because I don’t think he’s that smart. I think he showed up because he wanted to go to the party.”
“Where you introduced him to Christina, and now they’re going out.”
“Man…” Carrie let out a pent-up sigh that sounded like it crushed her ribcage. Her breath brushed against Leigh-Ann’s cheek. They still weren’t quite touching – not with their bodies, anyway – but Leigh-Ann swore her friend got ever so much closer with every passing second. “I don’t want to talk about her anymore. I’ve only been in school for a month, and I’m already having a crush on the mayor’s daughter. The mayor’sstraightdaughter. Maybe I really can’t stay out of trouble.” She rubbed her face, the puff of her cheeks squeezing between her fingers. “No wonder people assume I’m the one causing trouble wherever it rears its stupid head.”
“I don’t think you like trouble,” Leigh-Ann whispered. “I think it finds you. That’s not the same thing.”
“What do you mean?”
“You have a very outgoing and confident personality. Troublemakers are attracted to that, because they think you’ll be like them. Or they think they can exploit it.”
“Like using me as a scapegoat?”
“Guess so.”
“Let me guess… you’re the exact opposite. You cause so little trouble that you could wander the hallways at school without a pass and not a single teacher would care.”
“I dunno about that. Haven’t tried it.”
“See what I mean? You don’t know because you won’t try it.” Carrie chuckled. “You’re a cool chick, Leigh-Ann. You’ve got a dope outlook on life.”
“I do?”
“Sit back and chill. Don’t worry too much about nothing. That’s the way to do it. Me, I’m always overthinking things. Getting into trouble while trying to stay out of it.”
“I often think that I need to be more outgoing. Maybe the reason I don’t really have friends is because I don’t put myself out there. I don’t know what I’m going to be doing after graduation. I’ve got some people telling me to go to college, and others badgering me about which bank I’ll apply to be a teller at for the rest of my life.”
“Sounds bleak,” Carrie said. “That’s the high school feeling, though. If you don’t already know for sure what you want to do, you’re likely to flounder around while all the adults tell you what’s best for you. Screw ‘em, though. Do what feels right. It’s not like they know what they’re doing, either.”
“Suppose you know better than most high-schoolers,” Leigh-Ann mused. “Do adults really not know what they’re doing?”
“Everyone’s making it up as they go. Sure, there’s conventional wisdom, like paying your taxes and how to raise your credit score, but other than that? Figure it out, man. That’s all you can do. If anyone tells you otherwise, they’re posturing.”
“What if doing what feels right has terrible consequences?”
“I can’t tell you what to do in that case! Shoot, do I look like a great example of a gal who makes good decisions?”
Leigh-Ann finally turned her head toward Carrie.She has such a nice profile…The slant of Carrie’s nose would be a delight to trace with a fingertip. Her freckles disappeared in the shadows, but the dark of her hair brought them out when in the sunlight. She always wore the same plaid shirts over camisoles and T-shirts, but the way she mixed up shorts and jeans meant some days Leigh-Ann stared at her hips, and other days she gazed at those legs as if they held the key to the meaning of her young life.
Oh, God. I have a crush on her.Leigh-Ann could hardly admit it the other day. Knowing what she did about Carrie now? Like their similar tastes in women? It felt more helpless. Confessing to her would be opening the can of self-reflection worms, and if Leigh-Ann were rejected again?I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.
