Page 18 of December Wishes
Wasn’t that normal, though? She couldn’t be the only one who had nightmares of waking up every day for the rest of her life, utterly alone.
Standing at the front counter with only the hum of appliances to keep her company, Skylar took out her phone and opened her notetaking app again.
“Get a therapist to deal with loneliness issues.”
Talk about demons that followed a girl wherever she went. In a small town? She might as well dance with the devil and court the king of madness.
Chapter 11
JOAN & LORRI
“I can walk, you know.” Joan drummed her fingers atop her stomach, which now protruded as if she hid a cantaloupe beneath her maternity dress. “In fact, my legs are really cramped, Lor. I could really stretch them out right now.” That was the worst part of this pregnancy. How much her doctor didn’t like her standing so much. Or walking. Or climbing stairs. Or living, really.
“Hell no.” Lorri put the brakes on Joan’s wheelchair and grabbed something off the shelf. “We’re not taking any chances. Think of all the running around you’ll have to do when we have a toddler. You’ll be wishing for the days when you got to scoot around in a wheelchair.”
Joan rolled her eyes. Sure, wheeling through the aisles of a big-box discount store sure beat walking up and down endless aisles while the fluorescent lights beat down on a woman, but Joan reached a point where sheneededto exercise. Real exercise. Not only the preapproved moves her doctor gave her, or the weekly appointments she had with a local yoga studio that had pregnancy specific classes.My doctor threw a minor fit about those, too! I told him, if it really made such a difference, I shouldn’t stand to get into the shower.
Hard to believe that so early in her pregnancy Joan had taken every precaution possible. After two heartbreaking miscarriages, she was determined to see this one through, or never again.My last chance.Not only because they had completely run out of IVF funds, but because Joan was tired. She was getting up there in age and the window of opportunity was slipping away. This baby was her very last shot at traditional motherhood.
Now, however? A little over eight months since her egg probably implanted? Oh, she wanted to run a whole lap around the store. She hadn’tmovedfrom the moment her doctor took a look at her pregnancy history and expressed concern that the slightest movement might make her miscarry. Joan didn’t need that energy in her laugh. Sure, she would “take it easy,” but a woman could only lay in bed so much. She was going on indefinite bed rest right before Christmas, anyway, right when the stars moved in the sky and Sagittarius became Capricorn.
The only reason she knew that was because riding around in a wheelchair meant she was always at eye level with the astrology tracts for sale in the checkout aisle.“Did you know?”Joan once asked her partner.“That most billionaires are Capricorns? Apparently, Capricorns are known for their intense work ethic.”
Lorri reminded her that “most” billionaires were born with tons of money already, but Joan honestly didn’t know anything about that, so said nothing. Instead, she promised to not take stock in astrology, out of fear she might project the expectation to succeed upon her child.
“Oh, oh! Get the Double Stuf Oreos!” Joan pointed to the cookies as they went down the junk food aisle. “Yesss! Those ones!”
Lorri gave her an exasperated look. Probably because the basket was already filled with crackers, cookies, and candies. Joan’s sweet tooth had gone into overdrive since entering her third trimester.And my other teeth…God, after eating that anchovy and pineapple pizza two nights ago, she had gone onto social media to share the secret to pregnancy cravings.
Why did all the emoji reactionshaveto be little yellow heads puking?
“You don’t need more sugar. You’ve already got licorice and sugar cookies in there.”
“Yeah, and now I want Oreos! You want our baby being born without a love for chocolate? They wouldn’t last two weeks in our house.” She knew how Lorri got right before her period.Snarfs down every lick of sugar in the house.“Furthermore, do you want me craving sugar at two in the morning when we don’t have any in the house? I’d send your ass to the Grab ‘n’ Go since it’s the only place open at that time of night.”
“Bold of you to assume I would actually get up at two in the morning to do that. I love you, Joanie, but I don’t love nobodythatmuch. Hell, I don’t love myself that much!”
Joan snorted in absolute derision. She lightly knocked on her stomach and said, “You want me to eat Oreos, don’t you, baby?”
A mighty sigh erupted. Soon, a pack of Double Stuf Oreos landed in the basket.
“You’re running a racket, you know that?” Lorri asked her.
“This is what happens when I turn into a total couch potato. I sit around and eat.”
“I know you pregnant women can be really special, but you’re ridiculous.”
“My mama used to tell me about eating ice cream and ketchup when she was pregnant.”
“Ice cream andketchup?” They rounded the endcap, which advertised every flavor of Gatorade available. Joan extended both hands and grabbed a blue bottle when Lorri wasn’t looking. “I’ve heard of pickles and ice cream, but that’s a new one.”
“It’s basically ice cream and vinegar, either way.”
“Ugh. Gross. Ick.”
Joan didn’t need her partner’s opinions.You ain’t the one pregnant right now, Lor.Lorri would never understand what it was like to wake up at eight in the morning wanting to throw up. Or what it was like to lie in bed all day until you were in the “safe” zone, whatever that meant.I’ve been in the safe zone before, and still lost a baby.Lorri would never know what that was like, either. Didn’t mean she couldn’t be sad, angry, or confused, but at the end of the day, Joan Sheffield was the one who dealt with every physical side effect.
If only she could get the hell out of this wheelchair for two minutes!
