Page 33 of The Truth about the Marquess
But why?
“That does not mean that you have forgotten the steps, I am sure,” he told her, with such a sweet encouragement in his voice that Jane did not think that she could refuse, not without appearing rude or giving the impression that she simply did not want to dance with him! “What say you?”
Jane took a deep breath but forced a smile.
“Yes, of course. I would be glad to.”
“Capital!” He sounded so happy that she had accepted that Jane could not help but quieten her anxiety, feeling herself relaxing just a little as she looked up at him. “I am already looking forward to it.”
“Are you sure that you do not want to dance the waltz with either Miss Leverton or Lady Henrietta?” she ventured, reminding herself that he was already pursuing two young ladies and saw her only as a friend and nothing more. “I am sure that both of them would be glad to step out with you.”
Lord Edenbridge shook his head.
“I am afraid that Miss Leverton has no permission to dance the waltz and Lady Henrietta’s waltz has been taken by another.”
Jane looked up at him again, expecting him to sound disappointed but, much to her surprise, he did not. Instead, he was smiling down at her as though he was pleased thatshewould be dancing with him instead of one of them.
Her heart leaped, and Jane turned her gaze away.
“Ah, I can see Lady Guilford.” Jane glanced up at him again but did not look him in the eyes, her whole being seeming to writhe with a mixture of uncertainty and fear that swept overher completely. “Might you excuse me for a few minutes, Lord Edenbridge?”
With an easy smile, he nodded.
“But of course. I will come and find you again in time for the waltz.”
It was with a sense of urgency that Jane hurried towards Lady Guilford, though she could not explain why. Seeing her friend glance towards her – and then for her smile to fade – Jane caught her arm and, her heart pounding in a way that she had never expected, quietly begged her to walk with her for a short while around the ballroom.
“But of course.” Lady Guilford smiled at the others she had been speaking with, excused herself, and then fell into step with Jane, bending her head close to hers. “My dear friend, whatever is the matter? You have gone as pale as can be! Are you unwell?”
“I – I do not know.” Jane closed her eyes briefly, a breath shuddering out of her. “Louisa, whatever has come over me? Lord Edenbridge asked me to dance, and I felt myself glad to be asked, only for my whole being to suddenly turn weak with fear!”
Lady Guilford stopped walking and turned to look into Jane’s eyes, though Jane closed hers again, trying to regain a sense of composure.
“He asked you to dance?”
“The waltz,” Jane answered, opening her eyes and looking back at her friend, her voice barely louder than a whisper. “The closest, the most intimate of dances. Why do I suddenly fear it, Louisa? Why do I now fear being close tohim?”
A small, soft smile began to spread across Lady Guilford’s face as Jane pressed her lips tight together, steadying herself.
“My dear friend, could it be that what you denied so vehemently before might, in fact, be true?”
“Denied?”
“Yes, your denial that there might be something more than just friendship between yourself and Lord Edenbridge,” Lady Guilford said, gently. “I spoke to you because I believed that theremightbe something, but you refused to even consider the idea, I think.”
Jane nodded.
“That is because I was sure… no, Louisa. Icannotlet myself be drawn into this!”
“No?” Her friend tipped her head just a little. “And why would that be?”
Trying to answer, Jane opened her mouth and then closed it again, unable to give any sort of explanation for why she felt this way. It was as if part of her could see what was being offered, but the fear that was within her over it was so great that she could not…wouldnot… let herself consider it.
“You are afraid.” It was not a question but a clear statement and Jane, recognizing that there was no need for her to pretend otherwise, nodded. “But why are you afraid?” Lady Guilford pressed, still speaking gently, though her questions felt like sharp knives pressing into Jane’s skin. “You know that Lord Edenbridge is a good man. There is nothing that he has said or done to frighten you, is there?” Jane shook her head, wordlessly. “He is nothing like Lord Harsham,” Lady Guilford continued, as tears quickly sprang into Jane’s eyes at the mention of her late husband. “I can see that, and I am certain that you can too.”
“But what if he hides a good deal of his character, just as Lord Harsham did?” Words began to tumble from Jane’s mouth, her heart pounding as she gazed at her friend, her vision a little blurred. “Lord Harsham hid his cruelty from most of theton, though I will admit that some knew of his true character. What if Lord Edenbridge is the same?”
Sympathy poured into Lady Guilford’s expression.
