Page 34 of The Truth about the Marquess
“Oh, my dear friend.” She came closer and took both of Jane’s hands in her own. “You are afraid that, should you let yourself be a little more vulnerable when it comes to Lord Edenbridge, he will then turn into a gentleman you do not recognize? That there is a part of him – a big part of him – that he is hiding from you?” She shook her head as Jane tried to swallow past the knot in her throat, feeling pain clasp at her heart. “That is an injury that your late husband placed upon your heart,” Lady Guilford continued, gently, “and it has clearly not yet healed. I can understand why you would be afraid, but you must understand that there are very few gentlemen like your late husband. Most of them are just as they seem! I say this with confidence, for I know my own husband is one such gentleman, and all of his closest friends are of similar ilk. You need not fear that Lord Edenbridge will be like Lord Harsham, Jane! You will rob yourself of any potential happiness that might come from being honest with your own heart and, mayhap, with him!”
Tears began to burn in Jane’s eyes as she fought to speak. She could not find any words to explain all that was building in her chest. She understood what her friend was saying, and wanted to believe it, wanted to take it in, but there was too much fear there, too much dread over what might be, should she be honest about her heart, as Lady Guilford had suggested.
“Youmusttrust him!” Lady Guilford said, her fingers tightening on Jane’s, her eyes searching hers. “Tell him of your fear, if you wish!”
“Tell him?” Jane croaked, pulling back from the idea immediately. “I do not think that I can! I would not be able to do such a thing!”
“Why not?” The thought of speaking to Lord Edenbridge of her late husband and all of his cruelty sent a tremor through her. “Do you not think he would understand?” Lady Guilford asked, softly.
“He would wonder why I was telling him!” Jane exclaimed, pulling her hands out of Lady Guilford’s. “He would ask why–”
“Of course he would,” her friend interrupted, gently, “but then, mayhap, you could share with him the truth.” Smiling as Jane shook her head, Lady Guilford shrugged lightly. “I think that you would be very happy with Lord Edenbridge, Jane. You are close in your acquaintance with him, he seems very happy to be in your company, and you seem glad to be in his – and that is what I want for you. Iwantyou to be happy.”
Jane swallowed and then looked away.
“Iamhappy.” Her voice rasped, betraying her emotion, for no sense of genuine happiness spread into her words. “I am. Truly.”
“Are you?” Lady Guilford’s quiet question made Jane’s skin prickle, and she looked back at her, seeing how her friend’s eyebrow lifted, a glimmer of a smile still on her lips. “Then if you are so happy and contented, tell me how you will truly feel when Lord Edenbridge decides to take a bride? When he chooses one of the two ladies he is considering?”
Thinking of this, Jane tried to pretend that she would be more than contented, tilting her chin up so that she could speak with confidence… but nothing more than sadness hit her. Her shoulders rounded, her heart dropped to the floor and her spirit grew heavy.
She closed her eyes.
“I know that you have the town house and your employment, and I understand that you are afraid of what might be, should you listen to all that your heart is saying.” Lady Guilford embraced Jane for a moment, then released her, her hands at her shoulders, her gaze fixed and determined. “But you must consider what you will lose if you donottell him. That is all I am saying to you.”
Jane nodded but shivered, the thought of being honest and open with Lord Edenbridge in that way making her tremble with dread. She feared that, in doing so, he might then reveal the truth of his character, just as Lord Harsham had done the day of their wedding.
“I have come to find you, as I have said!” Lord Edenbridge appeared just as Jane shivered, yet again, making the smile on his face fade away. “Are you quite all right?”
Jane nodded.
“I am.” Pushing down everything within her heart and mind so that she barely felt or thought of anything other than what was now expected of her, she accepted his arm. “Thank you.”
“You are certain that you are quite ready to dance? We do not have to, if you do not wish to.”
The concern in his voice made Jane’s heart squeeze and, despite her attempts at pushing everything away, she could not help but let warmth flood through her as she nodded.
“I think a waltz would be a capital idea,” Lady Guilford remarked, sending a kind smile towards Jane, who could not respond in any other way but with a small smile of her own. “I think I shall go in search of my husband and demand that we dance also!”
This made Jane laugh and, with that sweetness beginning to fill her heart, she was led to the dance floor by Lord Edenbridge and, after a moment, stepped into his arms.
It was as though the entire world shifted as she danced. The ground seemed to move under her feet, weakness beginning to take hold, forcing her to tighten her grip on his hand and shoulder. Lord Edenbridge did not remark on this, however, though his eyes searched hers, the worry within them offering her a sense of comfort which she grasped hold of.
Strength slowly began to return to her as the waltz continued. She did not know where it had come from, but the weakness inher limbs began to flee, her poise returning as her gaze melded with his. There was a slow growing happiness in her now, something that sent out heat into the very tips of her fingers, seeming to push back the fear that she had felt so strongly only moments ago.
And then, Lord Edenbridge smiled.
Jane’s heart exploded. She could not quite understand it, her breath hitching, her chest tight as she lost herself in his eyes. There was something so wonderful about this moment, as though she had found something that, for a long time, she had been searching for and had been unable to discover. Lord Edenbridge pulled her just a little closer, as though he knew all that she was feeling and wanted it to linger, and Jane’s heart burned hot again.
Dare I confess to him what I have only just begun to realize myself?
She pressed her lips together, realizing that she had been dancing with him without even thinking of the steps, that they had been moving as one across the dance floor. Lady Guilford had recognized that there was a closeness between them, an intimacy that was continually growing and, as the dance slowly came to an end, Jane realized just how much she did not want to step away from him. Instead of the dread she had felt in stepping out to dance, she now wanted to linger a little longer, to have his arm at her waist, to have her hand in his.
“I think you are a wonderful dancer, Lady Harsham.”
“Jane.”
The word came from her before she could even have thought to keep it back, seeing the way his eyebrows shot towards his hairline.
