“Sorry,” I say, wishing he could see that I’m standing five feet away on purpose. Wishing that he could, maybe or somewhat, take into account that it’s pushing 4:00 a.m. and I might be tired. Or anxious or nervous or scared—because if I were Xander, I’d be all of thosethings.
And I don’t like thinking about my brother or sisters or cousins in these situations without me there. Right now, most of them are miles and miles away fromme.
Cubs guy squints in the dim light. “Is that dice? Can we join? You betting orwhat?”
If I saynofor a third time, I’m the dick. They’ll forever consider me a rude, standoffish celebrity. In an alternate universe where I’m single and not with Farrow, and I sayyes, then my night is over. There’s no such thing as just hanging out with strangers or fans orwhatever.
I have to put on a public persona like a facemask. It’s me, but not all of me. It’s not completelyreal.
Right when I’m about to sayno, Farrow cuts in and tells them, “We’re actually done with thegame.”
Cubs guy wobbles and checks over his shoulder. “Is Jane Cobalthere?”
Isolidify.
The entire bar goes quiet. I wait for him to mention the rumor, but maybe he’s just asking because she’s Jane Cobalt. Or maybe no one even cares about the tabloid garbage fireanymore.
I can’t tellyet.
“Nope,” I say. “Nothere.”
“But she’ll be at the meet-and-greettomorrow?”
“That’s what you two are here for?” Farrow asks, chewing hisgum.
“Hell yeah,” Danny says. “I’m a huge fan ofThe Fourth Degree. Gotta get my merch signed by the son of Halway Comics. I missed you at Comic-Con lastyear.”
I didn’t attend that one, but when I do go, I usually stop by the Halway Comics booth. My dad built the comics publishing company from the ground up before I wasborn.
I nod a couple times. “Jane will be at the meet-and-greet.”
“Cool,cool,” Danny says and nudges his friend’sarm.
Cubs guy takes one step forward. “Hey, do you think I could get like a private interview with her or something? I’m not shitting you when I say…that I think she might be my soulmate.”
Thatcher stands off his stool. “Don’t push your luck, kid. Security will be tight tomorrow. No private interviews or anything in quotes orasterisks.”
“What about italics?” the Cubs guysnickers.
Quinn sticks up for his client too. “No, seriously, she’s a real person. If you’re just trying to fuck withher—”
“No, no,” Danny butts in. “Sorry, my friend’s kinda drunk. He just likes Jane Cobalt. He won’t be weird, I promise.” He smiles sympathetically at me. “And that totally sucks about the tabloids. Just so you know, no one I’ve talked to at the FanCon here believesit.”
I nod, my chest rising. Not even realizing how badly I needed to hear that from a stranger. “Thanks. I appreciateit.”
They spend about two more minutes telling me how they wish Loren Hale could be at the FanCon. They love my dad, and at that, they leave thebar.
Tension evaporates, and then Oscar reminds me and all of SFO, “Someone has a dare tofulfill.”
Great.
Read the last dirty text you sent.I keep an elbow on the wet tabletop. Standing near Farrow. I scroll through our text message thread with one hand. “Hold on.” It’s not like we’re apart a lot andneedto text in the firstplace.
But have we before? Since the phone securityupdate?
Yeah.
Wehave.