Page 120 of Alphas Like Us
Twenty-nine hours withouttalking.
Twenty-nine hours withouttouching.
And with a high sex drive, that last one has me pent-up and resorting to jerking off more than usual. I typically try to come every day or else it feels like my balls are going to explode. Even on the FanCon bus, I managed to masturbate when Farrow and I couldn’tfuck.
Being horny—it’s nothing new for me. Being horny and having a boyfriend who’s not around all the time—thatis new. I trust myself fully, and my hand is a decentalternative.
But I’ve never fantasized moreabout him than I have when he’s gone. I’ve replayed the first time he topped me onloop.
I tune out the bartender’s dirty martini instructions and pop open the text. Scanning the words, my spirits burst like the pop of aballoon.
Running late. Sorry, wolf scout.–Farrow
Before I type a reply, another text popsup.
I’m still going to make it. Save one of Jane’s terrible drinks for me.–Farrow
“Est-ce que ça va, Moffy?” Jane asks while measuring gin in a shot glass.Are you okay,Moffy?
“It’s Farrow.” I set my elbow on the bar, phone in hand. I reread the text. “He’s going to be late.” I look up. “Jane—”
Gin overflows her shot glass. “Merde,” she curses and sops up the spill with a dishrag. She flashes me a consoling look. “There’s a seventy-two percent chance your drink may cheer you up, oldchap.”
I smile and reach for the martini. Just as another textpings.
Miss you–Farrow
My chest tightens. I quickly respond:no worries I’ll save u thatdrink
Lately I haven’t bothered typing out the correct spelling of “you” and I’ve stuck with just the letter. He’s gotten onto me about it a couple times, and it just makes me want to do itmore.
I’m about to add“can’t wait to see u”but then I think about how it’ll make him feel. Maybe concerned. Like I’m sitting here pining for him and not living my own life. I can survive without Farrow around me all the time. But I do feel hisabsence.
I overthink the text. Typing and deleting and typing anddeleting.
I take too long because Farrow repliesfirst.
You okay?–Farrow
Fuck. I clutch my phone harder. Thinking. I don’t know how to do this. Large intense gaps of zero communication. We barely even used to text because we were with each other all the time. It’s weird to think back to the day he became my bodyguard. I couldn’t even imagine my childhood crush in my life 24/7, and now, not having him is astruggle.
And I’m overthinkingagain.
My phone rings. Great, Farrow is callingme.
But I’m selfishly glad he did. I think it would’ve taken me a solid millennium to type out atext.
I put my phone to my ear and reach for my mint-green drink. “I was texting you back,” I say before he can speak. “I’m sorry, man. I don’t want to take up your time or distractyou—”
“Maximoff,” he cuts me off. “If I didn’t have time to call you, I wouldn’t have calledyou.”
I nod a couple times to myself.Alright.“How are youdoing?”
“Good. Shit has finally sloweddown.”
“I thought you liked the high-intensitystuff.”
“Not at the end of a shift.” He’s quick to ask, “Youokay?”
