Page 137 of Alphas Like Us
It reminds me of his feelings about my sling. I took it off permanently one week earlier than all the doctors advised.Bad idea, wolf scout.We kind of had a fight aboutit.
A short fight, but Farrow shook his head at me and said, “Give me a second.” He went into the bathroom, and I could tell he was upset. My stomach felt like it dropped out of my body, and I didn’t know how to coursecorrect.
I wanted him on my side, but I also recognized that we’re two different people. And we won’t always agree. As he came out, he checked my shoulder, and the quiet tension strung between us just grew and grew andgrew.
And he said, “I wish I’d beenhere.”
“You wouldn’t have stoppedme.”
Farrow looked at me, his eyes reddened. “That’s not why…”That’s not why he wanted to be with me.He just wanted to be with me. And I heard his voice in my head:it’s as simple asthat.
Pushing out that raw memory, I take a shallow breath and lean against my parent’s mailbox. Wind whistles inside the gated neighborhood, but the air is a little too hot for earlyJune.
Last night, Farrow was working at the hospital, so I joined in on a movie night with my family. Instead of going home to an empty bed, I ended up crashing in my old room. It was supposed to be my second chance to talk toXander.
The do-over.
He finished his LARPing costume. A fantasy elf-inspired look: a fur-lined hood, long trousers, a distressed red tunic, leather armguards, makeshift bow and a leather quiver for his arrows. He dressed up, and even let me take some pictures like a mini photo-shoot. Just thinking about that night, my eyessting.
Because he washappy.
And I didn’t say what I neededto.
I couldn’t doit.
Maybe that makes me a coward, but I’m protecting the good days he has. It’s all I can think about. I just want to ensure that he’s okay, and I feel like if I say something, I’m pushing him in the “not okay”territory.
Farrow is right about one thing. I can’t donothing.
Which brings me to my new plan. A different plan. I don’t know if it’s better, but it’ssomething.
In the distance, I spot Charlie ambling down the street, crutches underneath his armpits. He makes slow work of it, so I kick off from the mailbox and meet up withhim.
“I thought you were going to take the golf cart,” I say while I pull my Ray Bans to the top of my head, and he stops walking, out ofbreath.
“I was.” He squints from the sun. “Until I learned Tom and Eliot took the golf cart on a joyride and crashed it into Aunt Daisy’s porch.” I knew that happened, but I thought the golf cart wasn’t too fucked-up todrive.
I nod a couple times. “I heard aboutthat.”
He cringes. “Of course youdid.”
I try to stay calm. “Please don’t make this hard today. I’m already tense. You have no idea what it’s like going against Farrow and Jane’sadvice.”
Charlie stares at me blankly. “Not Farrow, but Jane, yes. My sister has offered plenty of bad advice that I’veignored.”
I glare. “Alright, let’s start over.” Otherwise, I’m going to throw a fist, and just the thought of hitting my cousin is making me sick to my stomach. “Which house isEaston’s?”
“According to my brother, the stucco mansion two streets over.” Charlie rotates and hobbles forward using hiscrutches.
Keeping pace with him, it’s slow, but I don’t run and leave him behind. Even if I’d like nothing more than to rip this off like a Band-Aid. In my head, confronting Easton Mulligan is the second-best solution to the problem. He’s the neighborhood kid asking my brother for pills, and once he stops, this will all beover.
It’ll be good for Easton who shouldn’t be taking other people’s meds and for Xander who needs them. On top of that, Xander won’t have some asshole teenager coming around who he feels the need toimpress.
Only problem is that Charlie’s entire right leg is wrapped up in a cast, and despite being out of a sling, my right arm looks weak and lifeless. I can’t lift or stretch thatwell.
I tell my twenty-year-old cousin, “We don’t lookthreatening.”
He stares straight ahead as we pass the Cobalt Estate. “We don’t need to threatenhim.”
