Page 159 of Alphas Like Us
I’ve heard the same speech a hundred different times, a hundred differentways.
“Shaw,” I say, grabbing my backpack and shutting the locker door. “I’mgood.”
He nods, but he blisters beneath my words. “Yeah, Keene. Of course.” And he coldshoulders me as he returns to hislocker.
I pass him silently out thedoor.
Justgo.
By the time I reach the parking garage, my pulse is racing. I drove the Audi to work, and I find the car where I left it. I don’t slide into the driver’s side. Immediately, I climb into the back, lock the car doors, and lie down on the stretch of theseat.
Resting my boot soles on the leather, I dial a number and put the phone to my ear. Staring up at the car’s interiorroof.
The line rings once before I hear hisvoice.
“I was just thinking about you,” Maximoffsays.
It pummels me, and my hand cements to my mouth, raw emotion surging. I can’t speak yet. My eyes burn, and I know this is where I would say:of course you were, wolf scout. You’re obsessed withme.
“Farrow?” Concern hardens his voice. “Youokay?”
I shut my eyes and drop my hand to my chest. “It’s sucking the life out of me,” I breathe out. And I tell him everything about what’s beenhappening.
All ofit.
I knew one day I would, but I thought it’d be at the end of three years. And then I’d confess, but now it’s come sooner. Because I’mdone.
I’mdone.
Maximoff responds with more strength of heart than anyone could ever believe. Ever know or see. “I fucking love you,” he tells me, “and you should step back. Don’t finish your residency. You don’t need it,Farrow.”
I’d been worried that he’d apologize, stuck on a turntable blaming himself for this, and thank fucking God he’s not.ThankGod.
I shift my phone to my other hand. “Maximoff…” I knew I’d end this here, and I was about to ask his feelings on that. Hell, I didn’t even need to ask. He just told me. But this choice comes with a greater cost than he mightrealize.
See, I’m still able to be a concierge doctor. I passed my Step 3 exam, so I’m now licensed and can prescribe medication. But… “I won’t be board-certified,” I tell him. “It means that if any of your family has to be rushed to an ER, I can’t practice medicine inside Philadelphia General.”I can’thelp.
That hospital requires doctors to be in a residency program or board-certified. I will beneither.
“It’ll annoy you,” Maximoff tells me, “especially when you have to hand that task off. But Farrow, my family having serious medical emergencies like that—it might happen only a few times in your lifetime. It’s not worth three years of being beaten down and feelingempty.”
I open my eyes. The parking garage is quiet, and the Audi windows are tinted. No cameramen have found me yet. “I never imagined not being board-certified,” I admit and comb a hand through my hair while I lie down. I keep my palm on my head. “It feels likehalfway.”
I don’t usually gohalfway.
I go all-in.
A bed squeaks on his end of the line. He must be sitting down. “Maybe if you only loved medicine, it’d be halfway,” Maximoff says, “but I think you’re going all the way and you don’t even fucking realize it,man.”
My eyes sear, staring unblinkingly at the interior roof. I start to smile at the thought. Medicine isn’t the only thing that fulfills me. Protecting him, loving him, just being there—it’s what I livefor.
I look far away. “Are you implying that I love you, wolfscout?”
“Yeah,” he says confidently. “Iam.”
I smile more. “You’re notwrong.”
Flashes start glaring through the car windows. Theclick, click, clicktoo familiar, and paparazzi shout my name. But I stay on my back for anotherminute.
