Page 164 of Wherever You Are
So, it’s a misogynistic Thanos snap.
Her eyes downcast.
I edge closer, my hand ascending to her calf, and all I’m thinking is that I need to protect my wife from Chaotic Evil. Since we were seventeen, making Willow feelsafeand at ease in any given situation meant everything to me.
It still does.
Maybe even more now, if that’s humanly possible.
“It’s just a fear, I guess,” she says quietly.
“Hey, your fear is my fear, Willow.” My hand travels to her kneecap, and our eyes meet as I tell her, “Fans either don’t care about us or they somewhat like us. We’re like the underrated gems. I know that could change if we’re too overexposed, and maybe we’ve gotta figure out ways to stay under the radar so no one burns us down.”
Fandoms almost always self-implode.
Very few things are loved forever. And we’ve been sitting inside a beloved thing that’s detonated multiple times. Calloway sisters going fromadornedtoscorned, back to adorned, then scored and the cycle starts all over again.
Truth: Willow and I haven’t even been on Tumblr in months, maybe a solidyear.If I make gifs, I just send them to her through text.
We’ll always love the internet, but our relationship with it has shifted. It had to for our health.
I don’t want to stumble on hate posts about Lily or Daisy or Rose. People we love. It sucks the wind out of our sails. Punches a fist through our guts.
Fuck that pain.
We deal with enough already offline.
Willow suggests, “Maybe we shouldn’t do interviews onWe Are Callowayanymore.” The critically acclaimed docuseries won an Emmy last year for the fourth season, and we don’t makelargeappearances like the core six, but we’ve done interviews for the show.
We exchange a deeper look. Because I know why she’d propose tossing this out.
I’ve been quotedeverywhereafter episode twelve aired where I said,“I married someone much braver than me.”
It’s true, but Christ, I didn’t expect to become gif sets and video compilations. And yeah, the irony isn’t lost on me.
I did the same shit to Ryke for his f-bombs.
Years ago.
Years ago.Time carries my thoughts in a drift.
Knowing what I know now, I wonder if I still would’ve made the videos. I’m not sure if age has changed me more or just the events and circumstances of my life.
Maybe I’ll never really have the answer.
“That’s probably the best idea,” I nod. “Do you still want to appear on the docuseries, even if we’re not doing interviews?” We’re often spotted in the background.
“Yeah.” She doesn’t waver or hesitate. “If we leave Philly where paparazzi is or if we try to avoid cameras, then I feel like we’re also avoiding my brothers and Daisy and Lily…Rose.” She takes a deep breath. “I never want to subvert the spotlight so much that we draw away from our extended family.”
Ourextended family.
My eyes burn, but I push back emotion for a second. “Same.”
We make a pack to never avoid the media at the cost of our relationships with the Hales, Meadows, and Cobalts.
She smiles more. “You think one day we’ll reach Chaotic Neutral? Where we’re like flies on the wall to all the madness?”
I stand up. “Let me ask the all-knowing one.”
