Page 17 of Wherever You Are
I ice over. Jonathan Hale is Willow’s dad, too. And she didn’t grow up with the man, but he’s a part of her life now.
Regardless of that, I hear what Lo is saying. All this time, I’ve been the exception to Lo’s cut-throat attitude.
Neither of us knew each other’s histories, but I think deep down, we both always sensed that parts of us were the same.
The broken parts.
Maybe he’s just healed before I’ve gotten the chance to. Maybe I won’t be able to. Maybe this is it for me, you know? I’m going to live forever with this thing inside of me, bearing down on all that I am. And it fucking hurts. It just hurts.
I keep rubbing at my face, the tears not ceasing.Please,just stop.My body is warring with what I want.Stop crying. Stop crying. Goddammit, stop fucking crying.
My sleeves are soaked, and Lo scoots nearer. “You’ll be okay,” he breathes. “You won’t see it today, maybe not even tomorrow, but one day, you’ll wake up and you’ll want to live.”
I choke back a sob. What he’s saying seems more like a dream not made for me. I shut my eyes and open them. “Are you sure?”
“I’m goddamn sure. Look at me…”
It takes me a second to raise my head, hair still falling over my eyes, shielding me like armor.
Lo says deeply, “One day at a time. Can you do that with me?”
My throat swells. Lights in the kitchen are harsh on my sensitive, swollen eyes.One day at time.I’d reject that fantasy under different stipulations. I’m not made to be by myself. Not wired that way.
And that’s okay, I think.
Because he’s not just sayingone day at a time.It’s one day at a time with him.
With someone.
Not alone.
Okay.
Okay.
Quiet stretches around us, Loren just sitting by and waiting for me to collect my thoughts. I can do this. I can accept something good for my life. Nodding repeatedly, I finally make my decision. But I still have one last thing left that connects me to my family. One thing left to claim and then I can cut ties completely.
I glance to Lo. “…will you do something for me, if I move in with you?” My stomach twists, not wanting to ask too much, but needing this.
“Yeah.”
My face scrunches at his lack of hesitation. “You don’t even know what it is.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“I want you to kill someone,” I deadpan. It’s a bad attempt at humor. But he’s the one who’s blindly trusting me. No questions asked.
Lo glares. “You joke, but have you met me?”
I narrow my eyes. Look, I don’t know what he’s capable of. Just like I don’t try to think about what I could do. I take a breath before speaking, not wanting my explanation to come out dry and sarcastic. “Two days ago, I told my brothers that I’d never see them again. I don’t know whether they believed me. They rarely take anything I say seriously, but I told them. I just don’t want to talk or see them ever.” I swallow hard, my throat raw. “So two days ago…I also left my parent’s house in a hurry and accidentally forgot one of my hard drives there.”
“You want me to get it for you?”
“Yeah…but just don’t…” I take a deep breath.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t hurt them. Alright. I know it sounds stupid as fuck, but they’re still my brothers. Even if I never see them again, I just don’t…justdon’tdo it.” There’ve been plenty of times where I’ve wished Hunter dead.
