Page 20 of Wherever You Are
He’s been pissed about how easily she’s erased me from her life.
“She’s thousands of miles away in Maine,” I said in quiet protest. “Your mom lives down the street.”
“So what? I could’ve flown there. I have money.”
I felt terrible for making this about me. “I’m sorry.” I grimaced at the apology, hearing my best friend Daisy telling me not to apologize for my feelings. Even though it’s hard. I sniffed back emotion and loosened my grip on the phone. “Sometimes I think that I’m a nonentity in so many people’s lives—shy, timid Willow Hale,” I whispered, “and I’m afraid of being a nonentity in yours.” He’s my guy, my only love, and it’s terrifying to think that I could be this invisible shadow to the person who’s been my everything.
“You’ve never been a nonentity to me, Willow,” Garrison breathed. “From the first time we touched, you became my world and safe place. I’m so in love with you that my heart feels like it’s being ripped to shreds just knowing you’re sad, and I’m stuck here, sitting on this crappy floor. Wishing I could hug you.”
I was sitting on the floor too. I told him that.
We laughed softly. Sadly.
I hugged my arm around my body, pretending that Garrison was with me. “Don’t push me too far away that I can’t ever reach you again, okay?”
“Okay.” We listened to our breath over the line for a while. It sounds creepier than cute, but it felt…calming. To hear him ease and our tears dry.
So that wasthephone call.
A big one.
All I can do is think aboutnow.
How he’s moving into my brother’s house, and we’re currently on a Skype call.
This move is a great thing for him. He’ll be surrounded by people who care about him and love him. Happy doesn’t even come close to what I’m feeling.
I’ve been grinning so much these past couple days that my cheeks hurt.
“Which room did you pick?” I ask Garrison. Back on Skype, I squint at my computer screen, trying to decipher which room he chose in the big eight-bedroom Hale house.
At one time, over half of the rooms were occupied. Way back when Lily, Loren, Ryke, Daisy, Connor, Rose, and I all lived under the same roof. Hard to believe that happened at all—but it did.
Now that it’s just Lily and Loren and their three-year-old son, it must be a quieter house.
“I almost picked Ryke and Daisy’s old room,” Garrison tells me. “But then Lo said that I wasn’t allowed because it’s the smallest guest room in the house and I’m not permitted to do that to myself out of guilt.”
Sounds like Lo.
Garrison starts untangling his wad of cords. “And I thought about your old room, but it’d be too weird. So I chose the guest room at the end of the hall, three doors down from Maximoff’s. You remember it? It’s the one with the paisley wallpaper.”
I nod, still smiling. “Is that the one Lo says gives him a migraine every time he goes inside?”
Garrison laughs, a real heartfelt laugh. “That’d be the one.” He glances at the screen, our eyes meeting for a beat.
I push up my glasses. “I wish I were there to help you move in.”
I almost bought a ticket, but Garrison told me not to miss my first week of classes for him. That we’d Skype instead.
“You are here,” Garrison reminds me. His positivity is palpable, and it runs through me like a drug. “Pick a wall for my poster.” He travels around the room with his laptop.
“By the window,” I say.
He smiles wide. “We are two minds in one. Who knew, I was thinking the same exact thing.” The way he says it—he definitely wasn’t.
“Uh-huh. Sure.” I match his smile. It’s contagious.
“I love your choice,” he says. “That’s exactly where it’s going and I’m going to think about you every time I look at it.”
