Page 125 of Burn Bright
“I’m not talking about Xander. I mean Winona.Vada.” Easton went to Dalton with the girl squad, and I knew he became friends with them through Xander, but I was at Penn during this time. Graduated. Gone.
I deflect. “Vada Abbey isn’t technically my cousin, man. We’re not blood related.”
“I’m aware.” He’s irritated by this. Why? I can’t process quickly enough. He’s already saying, “If you told anyone—Winona, Vada, me, Xander—that you’d been giving Adderall to Tate so he’d lay off the girls, then we could’ve done something when you left.” He tips his head to Xander, including him.
Xander’s jaw sharpens. He’s also pissed that I didn’t loop him in on what was happening right under his nose.
I didn’t want to put that pressure on Xander. He was homeschooled most of his life. He didn’t need to deal with the awful parts of prep school. The social piranhas who’d feed onyou if you let them. The douchebags who’d say they’d fuck your sister just to get a volatile reaction. I wanted Xander to enjoy his time there.
I wanted to bubble-wrap him.
And I felt like I had it under control.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize from a deep place within me, but I can’t take it back. I can’t reverse what happened.
“I’m sorry too,” Easton says with heat. “Because if I knew, I wouldn’t have had to find Winona almost passed out in a fucking bathroom.”
A brutal chill ices my body. I’ve already thanked Easton for being there when she got drugged, but that’s not enough. I’m the cause.
People I love keep getting hurt because of me. It’s fucking inevitable at this point. Taking a hot swig of water, I swallow. “What’s your major?” I ask. “Hating me?”
“That’d mean I spend fifteen hours a week thinking about you, which I don’t.”
Point taken. “Debate then.”
“Business. Unfortunately, I have parents that don’t let me do whatever I want when they’re paying for my college.” Shots fired, but I don’t feel the bullet go through.
My frown deepens. “I thought you cut that leash when you moved in with the Hales?”
“No,” he says flatly. “I only moved in with Xander under the guise that it was a ‘learning experience’ for a potential internship with Hale Co.”
His parents just shipped him out to live with the wealthiest family on the block? It seems cold. I nod to him, then check my incoming texts. None from Harriet.
“Can we play the game?” Xander asks, unboxing Catan. “It’s the only reason I’m still here.”
I miss her. I’m worried about her. I need to see her.
“Ben is going to bail,” Easton says, reading me as I glance at the door. It’s like having one of my brothers at the table, and right now, that’s not helping abate my panic.
“You don’t know me, man,” I say, trying not to get worked up. I’m white-knuckling my water bottle.
Xander is more uncomfortable. He’s slowly pulling out decks of cards.
“I know this is your MO. You ditch people. You cut them dead. I’ve heard enough from Vada.”
“I’m sorry, are you Vada?” I sling back. “She can say this shit to me herself.”
“Can she? How many texts have you responded to?”
None.
I dig my back into the chair. He’s right, I want to bail on this moment. On this club. On them. The truth isn’t just hard to hear, it’s setting me on fire. I’m burning up, and I can’t find the extinguisher.Stay?I need to stay, but how can I when staying just hurts everyone around me.
Either way, I inflict some kind of pain. There is no victory inside my head.
I think I need Harriet.
Xander pieces together the weird hexagon-shaped game board. His amber eyes briefly rise to mine. The past is haunting. Because I did ditch him too. I cut him dead. At fourteen, every invite I had to a house party or a soccer game, I used to bring Xander with me.
