Page 100 of Save You
She’s standing close to the dance floor and saw the whole thing.Now she turns on her heel and leaves the hall through one of the rear doors.
I want to go to her, but James is holding me back by the hand.Before I can ask him why, he nods in the direction that Lydia just fled.
Mr.Sutton is running after her.
“Do you think that’s a good idea?”I ask hesitantly.
James’s face is unreadable.“The two of them have to talk eventually.And I think they’d rather be left alone right now.”
James knows Lydia better than anyone, so I trust him.
“I don’t want her to get hurt,” I mumble.
That makes James glance warmly at me.“She’s got this.I’m sure of that.”
The certainty in his words and the way he’s suddenly looking at me give me the impression that it’s not just Lydia he’s thinking of.
For the first time since I met him, he seems to have faith in his own happiness.And that makes me very happy too.
28
Lydia
I wish I hadn’t come.I should have listened to my gut and not let them convince me.I knew it wouldn’t be easy for me to see Graham.But I never expected this.
Just now, when he was dancing with Pippa, when he put his arm around her like it was so ordinary, when she smiled at him and he smiled back, when the distance between their faces was shrinking more and more—I just couldn’t bear it.It was too much.
And even now, in the empty corridor, with no music and no people around me, my heart won’t stop racing.I feel sick and my hands are clammy.Dots are dancing before my eyes.My blood pressure must be way high.At once, I lay a hand on my bump, like that will tell me anything about whether the twins are OK.
“Lydia?”
I lower my hand and turn around.
Graham is standing just a few feet from me, his jacket unbuttoned, his eyebrows narrowing pensively.
“What?”I snap.Oh, how sick I am of pretending to everyone that everything in my life is fine.Nothing is fine.Least of all now, with him facing me.He ran after me when I thought he hadn’t even seen me.And he’s looking at me like he knows what’s going on inside me—the way he always used to.
I can’t look away.The pressure that has been building up inside me has got to the point that I can’t hold it in anymore.
“Did you have fun?”
His expression darkens and his frown deepens.“It was just one dance, Lydia.”
I snort disdainfully.“What I saw in there was a lot more than just ‘dancing.’ ”
We’ve never argued before and now I know why.It feels shit, and snarling at him like this isn’t even liberating.
“She asked me, and turning her down would have looked weird.People are already gossiping about me as it is.”
I laugh.“So, you were on the verge of making out with my tutor in the middle of the dance floor to stop people wondering if you’re seeing someone?”
The words emerge from my mouth louder than I intended, and Graham glances anxiously over his shoulder.
“I hate this, Graham,” I say.My voice is cold yet trembling.I’ve never heard myself speak like this before.“I hate that you can’t even speak three words to me without looking all around you in panic.”I clench my fists and put all my strength into fighting the stinging at the backs of my eyes.
“Do you think I’m enjoying it?”he retorts suddenly.
I can only snort again.
