Page 154 of Save You
She looks up guiltily.“Nothing.”
“That was too quick, and it’s the second time you’ve said ‘nothing’ in a couple of minutes.I don’t believe you.”
Lin bites her lip and looks back at her phone.Her cheeks are fiery red.
“Lin, come here,” I say, patting the spot on the bed beside me.She dubiously eyes the place where my hand is resting but slowly gets up and walks over.She leans her back against the headboard, crooks up a knee, and hooks both arms around it.I watch her settling in and turn toward her expectantly.She strokes a strand of her black hair back behind her ear.I get the impression she doesn’t know where to start.
“I know you don’t like talking about this stuff,” I say gently.“But if there’s something on your heart, you can always tell me.”
Lin gulps hard.“There’s not much to tell,” she whispers.
She looks almost shy—the opposite of the Lin I know.She’s such a strong, self-confident person who always stands up for herself and says what she thinks without worrying what other people might think about it.Seeing her like this makes me suddenly uneasy.
“I’ve been into Cyril since I was thirteen.”
My eyes widen.“Seriously?”
She nods slowly.“When I started at Maxton Hall, Cyril and I sat next to each other in a few subjects.He…wasn’t always the way he is now.Back then he was considerate and sweet.He really made me laugh.I can’t describe exactly why he fascinated me so much, but I liked him right away.”
For a moment, she says nothing, just stares at her knee.I’d like to say something encouraging, but I hold back.This is the first time she’s told me anything about her love life and I have to give her the time she needs, without interrupting.
“But the whole time I’ve known Cyril, he’s been in love with Lydia, so I always knew that we had no chance.I was still really upset when they got together though.There was never anything official, but you know how stuff like that gets around at school.After she dumped him, I…comforted him.One thing led to another and…” She shrugs awkwardly, and her grip on her knee tightens.
She looks so sad that I wonder how I didn’t notice all this.
“Was it just a one-off, or something more?”I ask cautiously.
Lin shakes her head and gives a breathless laugh.“We’ve been having sex every couple of weeks for two years.”
My mouth drops open.And shuts again.I can’t believe she’s kept that secret from me for so long.“I…Doesanyoneknow about this?”
Lin shakes her head again.“No.I’m well aware that as far as Cy is concerned, there’s only Lydia.And I’m OK with that, but I don’t want it getting out.I want to keep a bit of my dignity at least, and we’ve never been a couple or anything.”She hesitates a moment.“Anyway, it’s probably ended by itself.”
“What do you mean?”
“He hasn’t contacted me since Cordelia Beaufort died.Probably because he’s too busy consoling Lydia.”She shrugs her shoulders.“He’s ignoring my messages and now he’s always hanging around with her at school.”
“I…” I cut myself off, shaking my head.“Was it weird for you to spend New Year’s Eve with Lydia?”
Lin gives a narrow smile.“I like Lydia.And she can’t exactly help the fact that I happen to be into the lad who’s hopelessly in love with her.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“It doesn’t matter, Ruby, seriously.I just wish he’d be honest with me for once.I don’t think I deserve to be ghosted like this.He could have just told me that Lydia’s given him another chance.”
“I don’t think she has.”
She shrugs yet again.“I shouldn’t even care.It’s not like I’m in undying love with him.”
Her voice is light, but the sad look in her eyes contradicts her words.
“Cyril’s a pig if he’s ghosting you and you don’t know where you stand,” I say furiously.
“I know it must sound like that.But we both knew what we were getting into.He never made me any promises and nor did I to him.And he can be really great—self-assured, funny.And tender…” Lin blushes and buries her face in her hands.
“That sounds like more than just a physical thing, Lin.”
“I know!”She groans, peeping out from between her slightly spread fingers.“I didn’t realize that until now when I haven’t spent any time with him outside school for ages.Imisshim.”
