He holds his breath.I can tell by the way his body tenses that he wasn’t expecting the question, and that he’s making his mind up whether he wants to answer it or not.
We can just about hear the school choir singing, but I only dimly take in their gentle harmonies.
After a while, Wren takes a deep breath and shuts his eyes.“My parents went bankrupt a while back.”
“What happened?”
Wren gives a barely perceptible shrug.“Dad lost almost his entire fortune playing the markets.”
Oh, wow.I can imagine what it must be like for someone at Maxton Hall to lose practically everything from one day to the next.
“I’m sorry.”
Wren presses his lips together and stares at the railing.
“What does that mean for you?”I ask cautiously.
“We’re moving.After that, I don’t know.I got into Oxford, but God knows how I’ll pay for it now.”
“Well, you can get a student loan, and there are scholarships and stuff.My sister is applying for one.Maybe you could get a job too.”
He nods absently.“Yeah, I guess.”
For a moment, we listen to the choir down below, who’veswitched to a cover version of a pop song.It feels almost peaceful up here—not like Wren just told me something so sad.
Suddenly, his upper body turns toward me and he looks at me again.I don’t know how much effort it costs him, but from one moment to the next, his expression is no longer lost, but as curious as it was at the start of the evening.
“Your turn,” he says.“Tell me something about you.So far, all I know is that you’re Ruby’s sister and that you’re into fashion.”
I smile at him, unsure what I’m prepared to tell him.“I’ve been running a plus-size fashion blog for about eighteen months.It’s calledBellbird,” I say, deciding to start with the most important yet most innocuous thing.As far as I’m concerned, the entire world can know about my blog.I’m proud of what I’m doing, especially since the rebrand.
The smile is back on Wren’s face.“That sounds cool.How did you get into it?”
I’m surprised by his question, but in a good way.I lick my lips.“I’ve been fat all my life.”I pause for a moment, keen to see how Wren will react to this statement, but he surprises me a second time by just looking attentively at me, waiting for me to go on.“And it’s not because I eat too much, like people always think.That’s just the way it is.And it’s really hard to find attractive and fashionable clothes for my body shape.So eventually, I started to sew my own.And I’ve been sharing them on my blog ever since.And I write stuff, encouraging people to accept themselves the way they are.”
Wren’s smile doesn’t budge an inch.If anything, it’s broader now.“You sound like a superhero, Ember.”
I feel the heat creep into my cheeks.But false modesty is not exactly my thing, so I say: “Iama superhero.”
Now he laughs.It sounds raw and lovely, and I think I’m going to remember it all night long.For a moment, I regret breaking off the kiss.But deep down, I know that it was the right thing to do.I’d regret it a lot more if I hadn’t, I’m sure of that.
“Well, now I know what I’m going to be doing tonight,” Wren says after a while.
“What’s that?”
His dark eyes start to sparkle.“I’m going to read your blog.Every single post.”
Now I have to smile too.“That’s quite an undertaking.I’ve written at least twice a week, for a year and a half.”
“Oooooh-kaaay,” he drawls, stretching the syllables out.“It might take me a little bit longer, then.”
Just then, the choir stops singing, and I break into a mini round of applause.A man down below seems startled, stops, and looks up.I hastily duck my head down, hoping he didn’t spot us.I have no idea if we’re even allowed up here.
Wren laughs softly.“Anyone would think you didn’t want to be caught with me.”
“If my sister finds out I’ve been spending time with a boy, alone in a dark corner, she’ll freak out.”
Every bit of amusement drains from Wren’s eyes.He opens his mouth and shuts it again.Whatever he wants to say, he can’t psych himself up to it.In the end, he sighs.