Page 195 of Save You
I gulp hard.“Me too,” I say quietly.
There’s something in James’s turquoise eyes that I haven’t seen for such a long time, and I’m suddenly seized by a longing that’s so sudden and so strong that I have to clear my throat and reach for my glass of water.
“Show me your list,” I croak.
James blinks a few times, like he needs a minute to get himself together.Then he pushes his phone over the table toward me.I scan through the list of what he’s read, and I’m surprised by how much there is already—a few mangas, and a whole bunch of classic children’s and YA books, like the Percy Jackson series, and books by John Green and Stephen Chbosky.
“Wow, you’ve read all these already?”I ask in surprise.
He hunches one shoulder awkwardly.“Mostly at night, when I couldn’t sleep.Or at break time at school.I’ve been looking for things to take my mind off it all, and books are pretty good at that.And now I’ve kind of gotten used to reading before bed.”
“It’s a great new habit.”I keep scrolling through his account.“Can I put a couple of things on yourWant to Read?”
“Knock yourself out.I’m following some book bloggers now too, and I sometimes check out the stuff they recommend.”
I laugh and shake my head.James and his blogs.He really ought to have a chat with Ember sometime, I think, gradually adding to his list.
“You’re unstoppable,” James says after a while, amused.
“You said to knock myself out.”
James laughs.When the meal arrives, I realize to my surprisethat we’ve been here more than an hour already, chatting, and there hasn’t been a single awkward moment, and we’ve never been desperately trying to think about what to say next.It’s been ages since we’ve been able to talk this freely.Maybe we never have.
Our time in the conservatory is lovely, and over way too soon.James says he wants to make a good impression on my parents by dropping me back before midnight, which I reluctantly accept.If it had been up to me, we would have sat there under the lanterns, chatting away forever.
Before I put my jacket on, I walk over to the wall of windows.It’s dark now, but the view is still amazing.There are no clouds and I can see so many stars in the sky.
I’ve never had such a magical evening, and I want to remember it forever.So I pull out my phone and take a photo.But I have to admit that you can’t really see anything in it.
James steps up behind me, so close that the hairs on my arms stand on end.But it’s still not enough.I lean back and into him.Hesitantly, he raises an arm and wraps it around me.He presses me to him while I let my head sink back.The moment is so lovely, so intimate, that I have to shut my eyes for a moment.I listen to his breathing, and the quiet music filling the conservatory.Suddenly, I have an idea.
“Can I take a photo?”I ask quietly.
I feel him nod as his hair tickles my cheek.I hold up my phone and switch to the selfie camera.
“Smile,” I order James.
The two of us smile into the camera, him with his armsaround my body, behind us, the tree bedecked with lanterns in this magical place.
This photo is going to replace the one I nicked off Instagram and secretly saved on my laptop, I decide.But the thought fades as James nuzzles his face into me.He takes a deep breath and presses his lips into the crook of my neck.My breath catches, while a hefty tingle runs through my body.I put my hand on his and hold it tight while the desperate longing to be even closer to him floods over me.I lean back, almost grind into him, until I hear him inhale sharply.
Suddenly, James isn’t moving a muscle.My own breath is way too fast.As I squeeze his hand a moment, we no longer need words.James swings me round, and the next second, our lips automatically find each other.
James wraps both arms around me and holds me tight.My hands are on his chest and I let them stray down until they’re touching his stomach, which makes him groan.It sounds as desperate as I feel.At this moment, it’s as though there’s no boundary between us any longer.We are just us.Just like before, and yet changed.Everything feels more meaningful.Feeling James’s lips on mine is just as exciting as during our first kiss, yet I know him now.I know the movement he makes with his tongue, the feeling of his teeth on my bottom lip.When his hand reaches for my bum and he pulls me closer, I can feel his erection against my hip.
My knees are weak.I press against him until he almost stumbles back, kiss him harder, let myself be guided entirely by my feelings and the hot burning deep inside me.
But suddenly, he snatches his lips away from me.I was so carriedaway that now I’m dizzy.James breathes hard as he presses his brow against mine.His hand moves from my bum, up to the back of my head, which he strokes gently.
“We have to stop.”
It takes me a moment to work out what he just said.“Why?”I whisper.
He just shakes his head.
“Mr.Beaufort?”I suddenly hear the waiter’s voice.
James grunts, not letting me go.
