Page 197 of Save You
I breathe in and look up again.The first thing I see is that James’s face is as flushed as mine feels.The second is the look in his eyes.It’s so tender.“I’m not ready…I mean, we should take things slow.”
“Because we have time,” I croak.
“All the time in the world,” James confirms.
I nod, my breathing ragged.Then I lean back with a sigh and shut my eyes.For a few seconds, we’re silent.
After a while, James takes my hand.“Thank you for saying yes.To the date, I mean,” he whispers.
I squeeze his hand.“It was a lovely date.”
“I thought so.”
There’s something in his tone that makes me look up at him again.His eyes are glimmering dangerously and his smile is so hot that for a moment, I feel disarmed.
Just two weeks ago, I’d never have thought it possible that he’d look at me like that again, let alone that I’d have another moment like this with him.There’s so much more I still want to say to him—but I can’t.It’s too soon.The wounds are too recently healed.James seems serious, but I’m still afraid that he’ll reject me again.
I try to imagine him in a few years.Grown up, more mature.More confident in his decisions, without the unpredictability I’ve gotten to know in the last six months.What kind of a person would it make me if I only let him have a place in my life again at that point?Am I even certain that we’ll still be there for each other by then?
But—who am I kidding here?There’ll only ever be James for me.I could never love anyone else the way I love him—in this all-powerful, devouring, passionate way.
“What are you thinking?”he whispers suddenly, stroking my skin with his fingers.
That I’m in love with you.
That you’re the only man for me.
That that scares me.
“I was thinking that in future, we need to talk more.About our problems.So that nothing else…bad happens,” I answer hesitantly.
James looks hard at me.There’s a determination in his eyes that I’ve never seen before.“We can do this, Ruby.”
I gulp hard.“Are you sure?”
He nods curtly.Just the once.“Yes, I am.”
Relief washes over me.Hearing James with the certainty to say that quiets my doubts.
For a while, we sit side by side, studying our linked fingers.Then James leans back and grins at me.
“Best date in the world,” he murmurs, lifting our hands so that he can kiss my fingers.
I nod.“I thought so.”
Suddenly, his eyes light up.“Come round tomorrow evening,” he says.“To see Lydia and me.I know she’d love to see you too.”
I hesitate.
“Your dad…”
“Dad’s in London all weekend.We can order sushi.”
At this moment, James seems so excited yet so jittery that I instantly absorb all his nerves.I’ve only been to his house twice, and I only have sad memories of those occasions.I’m ready to replace them with new—nicer—ones.
“OK, great.Tomorrow evening.I’ll bring Ben and Jerry’s.”
“Perfect.Percy will pick you up.”Suddenly, James frowns.“Speaking of Percy…” He leans forward.“Shouldn’t we have gotten to Gormsey by now, Percy?”
