Page 74 of Save You
“What do you like to do?”I ask curiously.How weird that I know James’s darkest secrets but almost nothing about his daily life.
“Go to the gym mostly.”He shrugs.“Or watch travel videos.”
When I don’t reply, he looks at me, eyebrows raised.“I’m sure you have your own way of clearing your head.”
I hesitate a moment.“Yeah, ’course.But it’s a bit weird.You’re not allowed to think I’m silly.”
James’s lips twitch.“I can’t wait to hear it now.”
“You have to promise me, James.”
James nods and raises his hand in a three-finger salute.“Scout’s honor.”
I reach for my laptop and go into my favorites.I find my relaxation folder and click on the first video I’ve got saved in there.
A blond girl appears on the screen and whispers hello.The video starts with her opening a parcel and slowly stroking the paperin which various items are wrapped.I dare to dart a sideways glance at James because I know this one by heart anyway.He looks at the screen and then at me.“What the hell is this?Why’s she so quiet?”His eyes flick back again.The girl in the video is scratching her long nails over a sponge.“Why’s she doing that?”
“This is an ASMR video.”
James’s whole face is a question mark.
“It’s a thing,” I explain.“I really don’t know how to describe it.They’re videos where people speak quietly and make crinkling or rustling noises, for example.”
“But why?”It’s kind of sweet how confused he is.I’ve never seen him like this before.
“It’s soothing,” I explain.“My brain totally responds to it.”
“So, you watch this to relax?”he asks dubiously.
I nod.“It gives me kind of goose bumps on my head.Sometimes I watch them to fall asleep too.”
James grins.“I think you must have to really get into it for it to work.Right now, I’m finding it too weird to get goose bumps.It’s…It really is kind of odd.”
“There are hundreds of videos,” I say, clicking on the next favorite on my list.Now there’s a doctor, quietly telling a patient to raise their arm and shut their eyes.
It doesn’t take long for my scalp to start tingling.
James shakes his head.“That’s fascinating.In a totally messed-up way.”
“Watch one tonight before you go to bed.And then tell me if it worked,” I say with a knowing grin.
“It would be cool if it did.I’ve been sleeping so badly for weeks.”
The grin falls from my face.I don’t want to kill the mood, butwhen he says a thing like that, I can’t just ignore it.I have to ask the question, however sad it is.
“Is that because of your mum?”I ask carefully.
James takes a breath.For a moment, he doesn’t move a muscle, then he exhales audibly and nods.“Yes.I…sometimes dream about her.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
The doctor on the video is still going through his consultation, and I press the space bar to pause it.
James is quiet for a while, like he’s trying to find the right words.Again, I cautiously take his hand, like earlier, before Ember interrupted us.James turns his palm up so that we can link our fingers.
“I never thought it would feel like this,” he begins.
“What do you mean?”I whisper.
