Page 104 of Save You
“I don’t get it,” he mutters after a while, through clenched teeth.He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and sets the bottle down with a clatter.“I just don’t understand why.”
I don’t know how to answer that.Cyril’s been hoping for years that he and Lydia might get together.Learning that all his waiting was in vain must be really doing him over.
“I’d have done anything for her.Anything,” he says, shaking his head.That seems to make him dizzy, because he lurches a little to one side.I grab his arm and pull him down from the windowsill.
“I know,” I say.
Suddenly, Cyril grabs me with both hands.“You have no idea how it feels, James.To hope for something for years and to see it break in front of your eyes.”
His face is twisted with pain.He’s swaying, can’t stand up straight.Without another thought, I take his arms and steer him toward the bed.I give him a gentle nudge so that he has to sit down.Once I’m sure he’s not going to wobble over again, I let go of him and go to shut the window.Then I pull the heavy gray curtains.
I turn to Cyril.He’s leaning forward, his face buried in his hands.The sight of him makes me sad.This whole situation is fucked up, and I’m sorry for Cy, but I have to look out for Lydia first.She’s the one with everything to lose if her relationship with Sutton comes out.
I sit next to Cyril on the bed.“You mustn’t tell a soul, Cy,” I insist.
He just shakes his head.Then he lowers his hands and turns to face me.“Do you think I’d really ever do anything to hurt Lydia?”
I look back at him.“No, I don’t think so.”
He nods.
Then he stares in silence at his hands for a while.“I always thought that what we had was as important to her as it is to me.”
“It’s not anything you did.That part is obvious.”
He just growls and then falls back onto the bed with a groan.
“I’ll get you a glass of water,” I say after a moment.
Cyril doesn’t reply, so I stand up and walk down to the kitchen.When I get back, he’s sitting up in bed again.I’ve brought a bucket up with me too in case he feels sick overnight, and Cyril eyes it mockingly.
“Here,” I say, holding out the glass.He takes it and forces himself to have a couple of sips.After that, he puts it down on the bedside table.
“Is there anything else I can do for you?”I ask.
“No, thanks, bro.I think I need some time alone.”
“OK, then I’ll be going.”I gesture over my shoulder with my thumb.
Cyril gives a curt nod.Then he does something he hasn’t done for at least ten years—he gets up and wraps his arms around me.I’m taken by surprise, but then I clap him on the back.He’s leaning half his weight against me and I’m doing my best to hold him up.
“You’ll get through this,” I say quietly.
Cyril pulls away from me and won’t meet my eye.It’s clear he doesn’t believe a word of it.
Ruby
It’s half past one when James finally gets home.He knocks quietly on Lydia’s door and opens it a crack.When he sees me sitting on the bed, beside his sleeping sister, the smile that crosses his lips makes my stomach tingle.Cautiously, I stand up, trying not to make a sound.James’s smile broadens as he sees that I’ve changed out of the dress into one of his T-shirts and a pair of Lydia’s leggings.
It’s only once I’ve shut the door gently behind me that I dare to say anything.Lydia was so distraught when we got here—I really don’t want to wake her.
“You’re here,” he greets me softly.
I nod.“I was going to go home with Ember, but Lydia was so upset that I didn’t want to leave her on her own.So I told Mum I’d stay over with you.Did you find Cyril?”
James’s smile fades.“He was pretty out of it.I don’t know if he’ll remember a thing in the morning.”
That’s not particularly reassuring.
