Page 182 of Save You
Ruby’s cheeks are flushed, she’s breathing fast, and her hair is messed up.Everything within me is crying out to lean down and kiss her again.
At once, I let her go.I clear my throat and move away a little.
“Are you accepting the offer?”Ruby asks after a while.
I nod.“Yes.I don’t even need to ask, do I?”
I dare to glance at her once the heat that flooded my throat has ebbed away a little.Ruby is looking warmly at me, and while she’s clearly holding back too, the glint in her eyes shows me how happy she is.
“Of course I am.”She hesitates.“But I’m worried about money.I’ve looked into all the loans and scholarships, and I’m sure I’ll get a bursary, but I can’t afford it without a loan, and it’s such a lot of debt to take on.”It’s almost painful to see the joy gradually fading from her eyes to be replaced by fear.“And I don’t know if I’ll have time to get a job.”
“I’m sure you’ll work it out,” I say confidently.
“Well, I’m doing my best,” she says firmly, and at that moment, I have no doubt that Ruby can doanythingshe puts her mind to.
“Mum always made sure Beaufort’s supported various social projects every year.I bet there are grants in there somewhere.I can ask, if you like,” I suggest cautiously.I’m not sure if this is crossing a line.I hope not.
Ruby hesitates a moment, but to my relief, she’s looking thoughtful, rather than mortally offended by my idea.
“That’s kind,” she says in the end.“How are things at home?”
Her eyes went soft as I spoke about Mum, so I’m not surprised by her sudden change of subject.
I think for a bit.“Lydia’s doing well, and Dad…is my dad.I don’t see much of him and we’ve barely spoken since December.Lydia and I will never be able to forgive him for not telling us what happened to Mum.”
“I never get into fights, but I think I’d have hit him too.”
The idea almost makes me grin.Sadly, that impulse soon fades.“I hate the way he treats Lydia,” I say seriously.“Especially now, when she’s got so much to deal with all at once.”
“How do you mean?”she asks, furrowing her brow.
“He always makes her feel stupid, which seriously winds me up.He hasn’t really acknowledged that she got into Balliol.”
The corners of Ruby’s lips twitch disapprovingly.“Everything you tell me about him makes me so cross.No wonder you’re glad when he’s not at home.”
I normally hate this kind of conversation and usually change the subject or avoid answering, but it feels perfectly ordinary to be sitting here with Ruby, on her bed, talking about my family problems.
I feel like I could get used to this.
“What are you thinking?”Ruby asks out of the blue.
I can only shake my head.There’s a lump in my throat that won’t disappear, no matter how often I cough.
“James?”Ruby says uncertainly.
“I’m just happy that you let me be here,” I croak.
The next moment, Ruby scoots over to me a bit.She puts her hand on mine and I link fingers with her.
“I’m happy you’re here too,” she whispers, and warmth fills my whole body.
“I’m not going anywhere anytime soon,” I declare, my eyes fixed on our hands.“So get used to it.”
Ruby
James and I have about another ten minutes undisturbed before Ember knocks on the door exaggeratedly loudly, bringing in a plate of cookies Mum had sent her up with.James jumps up from the bed like he’s been bitten by a tarantula.As she walks away, my sister leaves the door wide-open with a pointed look that just makes me roll my eyes.James and I were only talking, not ripping each other’s clothes off.
If Mum seriously thinks that…well, I don’t know how to take that idea.
