Page 183 of Save You
After Ember leaves, James stands uncertainly around in the middle of the room, then points to the books on my desk.“When do you need to be done with those?”he asks.
I sigh.“I should have read most of them already.I’m way behind thanks to the gala.”
“OK,” he murmurs, holding up John Stuart Mill’sUtilitarianism.“This one is only a hundred or so pages and I’ve already read bits of it.We can go through it together if you like.”
I blink.“You want to do homework with me?”
“Sure,” he says, pointing to the desk.“Got another chair?”
I’m so confused that for a moment I’m lost for words.
Then I nod and slide off the bed.“I’ll be right back.Don’t move.”
I dash into Ember’s room.She’s sitting on the floor by her bed, back against the frame, laptop in her lap.At the sight of me, a significant grin spreads over her lips, and she pulls her headphones off her ears.
“Sooo?”she asks.Apparently, our conversation this morning is already forgotten—or else she’s just too nosy to ignore me right now.
“Can I borrow your chair?”I ask.
Ember’s grin widens.“Of course you can borrow my chair.”
I ignore her suggestive tone and push the office chair into my room.Meanwhile, James has sat down at my desk,Utilitarianismopen in front of him.
“Are you sure you want to go through my reading with me?”I ask as I sit down beside him.
He looks up and a slight smile lightens his face.“I want to do anything with you that you’ll let me, Ruby.”The moment the words leave his mouth, he grimaces.“That came out kind of wrong…”
James’s cheeks flush pink and mine blush hot too.I look away and turn to the first page, then clear my throat.“D’you need some paper?”
Beside me, James nods twice.“Yes, please.”
For the next two hours, we do indeed studyUtilitarianismtogether.I find it hard to focus at first—partly because James is sitting next to me, and partly because my thoughts are all over the place—but after a while, I get to grips with the theory and start to shape my own opinion on the topic.James and I discuss each other’s ideas and again I realize how bloody intelligent he is.He might not love the idea of Oxford, but when he gets there, he’ll be ahead of the field.
When we’re finished and I’ve highlighted a last keyword in my little notebook, I lean back with a sigh.
“What now?”asks James.
I frown.“What do you mean?”
“Well.Whenever I’ve crammed my head full like that, I have to clear it somehow before I can do anything else.”
“What do you like to do?”I ask curiously.How weird that I know James’s darkest secrets but almost nothing about his daily life.
“Go to the gym mostly.”He shrugs.“Or watch travel videos.”
When I don’t reply, he looks at me, eyebrows raised.“I’m sure you have your own way of clearing your head.”
I hesitate a moment.“Yeah, ’course.But it’s a bit weird.You’re not allowed to think I’m silly.”
James’s lips twitch.“I can’t wait to hear it now.”
“You have to promise me, James.”
James nods and raises his hand in a three-finger salute.“Scout’s honor.”
I reach for my laptop and go into my favorites.I find my relaxation folder and click on the first video I’ve got saved in there.
A blond girl appears on the screen and whispers hello.The video starts with her opening a parcel and slowly stroking the paperin which various items are wrapped.I dare to dart a sideways glance at James because I know this one by heart anyway.He looks at the screen and then at me.“What the hell is this?Why’s she so quiet?”His eyes flick back again.The girl in the video is scratching her long nails over a sponge.“Why’s she doing that?”
