“They won’t,” I say softly, leaning forward to touch him.I feel a need to comfort him when he looks like this, and I wish I could do more than just stroke his cheek.
James looks at me, his eyes dark.“I’d do anything for the people I love.”
I stroke my fingers further down his throat.Hold the nape of his neck in my hand, rub my thumb along his hairline.“I know.”
“That includes you, Ruby.”
I pause in mid-gesture and gulp hard.Suddenly, there’s a lump in my throat that I can’t swallow down.
“I love you,” he whispers.
There’s so much emotion in his voice, along with so much pain that, for a brief moment, I don’t think I can breathe.
But the next instant, my body reacts to his admission as if by itself.I lean forward until I’m kneeling on the bed and level with James.Tenderly, I lower my mouth to his and kiss him, just fleetingly.
“I love you too, James,” I whisper back, resting my brow against his.
I hear James breathe in.“Really?”
I nod and kiss him again.
It’s only meant to be another brief kiss—but then James putsa hand on the back of my head and what began gently is soon more.I lose my balance and fall sideways, onto the soft down.James doesn’t break off the kiss, even for a second.All the words I still want to say vanish from my tongue as James parts my lips with his.I sigh gently.
This time, when he pulls away, we’re both breathless.
“Thank you for being here for us both today,” he murmurs.
We’re lying on our sides, our faces turned to each other.James gently strokes upward from my waist, lays his hand on my rib cage.He’s drawing little patterns on my skin.
I still remember exactly what it felt like the first time he touched me—it felt like his fingers were burning through my clothes, right onto my skin.And it’s the same now, as his hand travels down again, coming to rest on my thigh.
“Thank you for letting me be there for you,” I whisper, stroking a strand of his red-blond hair off his forehead.I could run my hands through his hair forever; I love the way it feels under my fingers.
We lie there in silence.The only thing I can hear is our even breathing.We can’t let each other go.I have to touch James the whole time, as if I’m making it clear to myself that this, here and now, is reality.That we really have found our way back to each other, and that this new, ever-growing trust exists between us.
I fight against it, but eventually, my eyelids are so heavy that I can barely hold them open.James is there when I fall asleep, one hand in mine, the other nestled gently in my hair.
30
Ruby
“What do you think?”Lin asks the following Monday, pushing her planner over the table toward me.
I study the entry she’s made in purple pen.Among the Chinese characters, I read in her neat handwritingMove to Oxford; in the field for the next day, she’s addedCelebrate with Ruby.I grin broadly at Lin.And although the whole thing is still months away, I pick up my gold pen from my pencil case, flick through my planner to find the monthly overview of the year, and write the same things.
“Ta-da,” I whisper, just as the bell goes for lunch.Lin and I start to pack up our things, but before I can slip on my backpack, we hear the gong again—but briefer this time.
“Will Ruby Bell come to Mr.Lexington’s office immediately?”the head teacher’s secretary announces over the loudspeaker.At once, every head in the room turns to stare at me.
I frown up at the clock over the classroom door.We’re not due to meet Lexie until just before the end of lunch.If he wants to see me now, something must have happened.
Goose bumps spread over my body as I frantically try to guess what it might be.
“Should I come too?”Lin asks as we walk out of the room.
“No, you go and get something to eat.”I grip the straps on my bag.
“OK.Do you know what you want?I can pick it up for you so you don’t have to come back and queue.”