Page 45 of Save You
“I don’t know what to say.”
“It doesn’t matter, Ruby, seriously.I just wish he’d be honest with me for once.I don’t think I deserve to be ghosted like this.He could have just told me that Lydia’s given him another chance.”
“I don’t think she has.”
She shrugs yet again.“I shouldn’t even care.It’s not like I’m in undying love with him.”
Her voice is light, but the sad look in her eyes contradicts her words.
“Cyril’s a pig if he’s ghosting you and you don’t know where you stand,” I say furiously.
“I know it must sound like that.But we both knew what we were getting into.He never made me any promises and nor did I to him.And he can be really great—self-assured, funny.And tender…” Lin blushes and buries her face in her hands.
“That sounds like more than just a physical thing, Lin.”
“I know!”She groans, peeping out from between her slightly spread fingers.“I didn’t realize that until now when I haven’t spent any time with him outside school for ages.Imisshim.”
Her last words sound so revolted that I have to grin.
“Have you ever talked about it?Properly, I mean?”I ask gently.
She shakes her head and goes bright red.“Cyril and I never spend much time talking when we see each other.”
Oh wow.
“We’ve been friends for so long and I had no idea.I feel like a really bad best friend right now.”
“You’re a great friend.I just didn’t want to tell anyone because…oh, God knows.There was something exciting about keeping it a secret.But now that the whole thing’s clearly over as far as he’s concerned, it’s killing me.”She sighs deeply.“We’re both exactly the same, Ruby.Neither of us wanted to get into anything serious before Oxford.”
One of the many things that Lin and I have in common.
“And now both James and Cyril have got offers too,” I mumble.
“Yeah.”
For a moment we’re quiet, each lost in our own thoughts.When I moved to Maxton Hall, I lost all my friends from my old school.After that, I decided that I’d keep all my friendships really superficial.I didn’t want to put my energy into anything that wasn’t going to last.
But that changed when I met Lin.OK, so I’m still scared that this might be another temporary thing, but I’m prepared to take that risk—this conversation now is showing me that again.
I take Lin’s hand and give it a gentle squeeze.“You can always talk to me, Lin.Always.I want you to know that.”
I’ve never said that to her before, and I find it surprisingly hard to get those words through my lips.Not because I don’t mean them, but because they mean so much to me.
“Thanks.You can too,” Lin says, her voice husky with emotion.She turns her hands so that we can link our fingers together.“I mean that.You can talk to me about James anytime.Or about anything else.”
I chew the inside of my cheek and think about the moment this afternoon when James was standing on the doorstep, telling me all that stuff.
I’ll always be yours, Ruby.
His words made the ground wobble beneath my feet.He looked so determined, like nothing in his life mattered more than winning me back.
“James was here this afternoon,” I begin after a while.
Lin keeps holding on to my hand as she looks inquiringly at me.“What did he want?”
I shrug my shoulders.“He said that he needs me.That I’m the only person who understands him.And that he could be happy with me.”
Lin takes a sharp breath.“And?”
