Page 70 of Save You
At this moment, such a powerful wave of affection for him washes over me that I almost have to look away.Cautiously, I raise my hand and stroke the messy strands of hair off his forehead.Then I lay my hand on his cheek.His face feels warm to my touch, and as I run my fingers softly over his skin, James wraps his hand around them.
It hasn’t been that long since we were last standing like this.That time, I touched his cheek, plucked up all my courage, and confessed to James that I didn’t want to lose him.Then he took my hand from his face and turned away from me.
But now the opposite happens.
James holds my hand tight and shuts his eyes.As I stroke my thumb over his skin, a tremble runs through his whole body.He opens his eyes again and I hold my breath.
“I don’t want anything to come between us again, Ruby,” he whispers.
I can hardly breathe with James this close to me.The weight of his words hangs in the air, and at this second, I realize that I feel exactly the same.
I don’t want to be apart from him anymore.
I can’t be angry or sad any longer.
I want to feel that rush again, at long last, that James and I give each other.I want to talk to him again, message him again, share my worries and fears with him.
I want tolovehim.
Even after two months, the all-encompassing longing for him hasn’t faded.On the contrary, it’s grown stronger, day after day.And there’s nothing I can do about that.
“I feel the same,” I whisper.
He makes a quiet, despairing sound, and the next moment, he pulls me to him.He wraps his arms around me tight as my eyes start to sting and tears run down my cheeks.James mumbles something into my hair.And although I don’t catch the words, I know deep inside me what they mean.
James
I don’t know how long we stand there like that.At some point, I find myself semi-sitting on the desk surface with Ruby leaning against me.My heart is hammering so hard in my chest that I feel sure she must be able to hear it.Her arms are tight around my waist and her face is buried in my shoulder.Her tears slowly dried up, but I can still feel the damp patches they left.
I breathe in deeply, and the familiar, sweet scent of Ruby fills my nose.I can’t believe this is really happening.At this second, my life is no longer a shambles.Everything feels right.I could stand like this forever.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I murmur after a while, my lips brushing her hairline.I would love to let them roam somewhere else—but I won’t let that happen.I’m not going to kiss her.Not now, not today.That isn’t why I came here.
“I missed you too,” she answers, equally quietly, and my heart leaps.
I stroke Ruby’s back, one big circle, and then a smaller one.The thin blouse feels so soft to the touch.And so likeher.
“I’m sorry for what I said when I came before.I didn’t mean to put anything on you.”I get the feeling that I need to say that again, one more time.
“I’m sorry too.I shouldn’t have been so mean.”
I shake my head right away.“You weren’t mean.What you said was right.I don’t want to be a burden on you.That’s not how a relationship works,” I reply.
At the word “relationship,” Ruby raises her head and pulls away from me slightly.Her watchful eyes are on me, and my next words just flood out by themselves.
“It’s just that…When I see you, I feel like everything in my life is going right.It feels like I’m at home—really at home, I mean.I’ve never felt like that before, Ruby.With anyone.You gave me the feeling that I’m not alone.And that’s what I missed most of all.This feeling of…being whole.”
Ruby’s breath catches.
“I don’t know if that even makes sense,” I add.
“It makes sense,” Ruby says.“Of course it makes sense.”
“I don’t want you to feel that I’m pressuring you.”
Ruby’s gaze strokes over my face.I’m sure that my cheeks are as flush as hers.I feel warm, and I’ve been fighting the tears too.But Ruby isn’t looking at me like she finds that cringe, or thinks I’m an idiot.
There’s a warmth in her green eyes that pierces right through me.She is looking right inside me and I know that she understands everything.
