Page 57 of Joshua's Mistake
Chapter 10
The circular structureleft no corners where spirits could hide. The thick walls and roof kept the heat in. A round depression in the center of the lodge held the superheated stones and a cauldron of water to keep some moisture in the room.
Joshua had made many vision quests in the sweat lodge. In the past, he had always entered searching for some answer to his troubled soul. He sought peace and answers in his youth. As he’d grown older he’d mostly come to calm his mind and get away from the noise of the world. His gifts made it difficult to think. He always had so many other people in his head. The barrage could be deafening.
This time was different. The stakes were so much higher. If he failed he would lose Tessa. He’d only just found her and now he might never hear her laugh again. Adianca had called her his woman and it was true. Tessa was his woman and he had failed her in every way. He’d been too afraid to tell her how he felt, it had been his fault danger came to her and then he’d failed to protect her from Banta.
The heat filled his lungs, making his chest ache. Blankets made up a makeshift bed on the far side of the lodge. Joshua walked around and placed Tessa carefully on the blankets. He took each hand and kissed the palms before leaning down. His lips touched her ear. “I will find you. Wait for me.”
Stepping away, he sat next to Kane, facing the center of the lodge. Adianca sat cross-legged, facing the brothers with the fire pit between them. She began a low chant. Kane took up the same ancient words. Joshua steadied his breath and ignored the sweat dripping down his spine in rivulets.
The two people he trusted most in the world, besides Tessa, raised their voices to help him enter the spirit world. The deepness of Kane’s voice and the slightly higher tones of Adianca merged until the sound became one.
Joshua closed his eyes and allowed the sound to roll over him. The heat muddled his mind and slowed his breathing. He lost himself to the warm cocoon of the sweat lodge.
The ground slid out from under him and Joshua floated in total darkness. His past echoed around him. The spirit world knew nothing of time. Five-year-old Kane screamed in protest while government agents dragged Joshua away from the orphanage. Kane’s little, tear-streaked face pressed up against the window, his mouth open in an eternal “no” that had haunted Joshua’s dreams from that day until well into his adulthood.
Then he was older and working in the field. Joshua had been an agent for years. Will was set up for a shot. Joshua’s job was to detect anything that might keep them from making the kill. The dignitary who’d escaped FBI custody was in their sights. Then Joshua felt it. Another psi vibration so familiar it could not be ignored. He’d known before Kane stepped out in the clearing his brother was near.
He’d almost forgotten he’d had a brother. It had been so many years and they had been so young when separated. Yet he knew who the dark-haired man with the gun was. He never doubted.
Kane’s head turned toward the building and window across the street where Joshua and Will were set up. He sensed it too. Kane grabbed his mark and stood between him and the window.
“I can shoot right through this guy,” Will said.
“No.” Joshua pushed the barrel of the rifle down and away from his brother.
“Focus on your task.” Adianca’s voice floated through the spirit world.
More visions of his past sped by. Joshua brushed them aside. The effects of a world without matter could be addling. A man could forget why he’d entered and be swept away with the torrent of information floating by and pressing in. It was a test of strength not to succumb to the distractions. Some images of the past or the future were more determined than others. Some would batter a person until they were seen.
None of that would help Tessa. He needed to find her in the shadows and bring her back to the world where they could live. The spirit world was not for the living.
It was difficult to search through the swirling blacks and grays of the spirit world. Some places were thick as a swamp and others impassable. Banta’s dark skin and flashing eyes erupted before him. A slow grin spread across his face, baring bright white teeth that appeared more like fangs.
Had Banta found them? Was it a production of Joshua’s imagination? Was it the effect of Tessa’s fears? Could Joshua be getting close to finding her? There was no way for him to know. He had to locate Tessa’s aura and get them out of there. How could he defend her life if he was not in the solid world?
He delved further, searched, called out. He was going in circles. Where was she?
Desperation and despair folded over him and the sting of failure with them. Without her spirit Tessa’s body would die. Without Tessa there was little reason for Joshua to go on.
Kane’s voice filled his consciousness. “You have to come out, Josh. You need to eat and sleep. You’ve been under too long already.”
Time passed at a different rate within than it did on the outside. Joshua didn’t know how much time had passed. Unless he was dying he would not feel the effects of the trance on his corporeal body.
A gentle, weak vibration barely reached him. He pushed his brother away and moved toward it. The child from Tessa’s dream huddled in the churning darkness and light.
The vision quest was void of surfaces a man could grasp on to. He did not approach the child so much as brought her consciousness closer to his. When she was near the vibration, which was clearly Tessa, grew stronger. Pure joy erupted inside Joshua. He had not felt her aura inside her dream, but here in the place where souls belonged she was alive.
“Tessa, you must come with me.”
She flinched but did not move closer or run away. Her liquid eyes gazed up at him and he saw an instant of recognition.
“Yes, beautiful, it’s me. It’s Joshua. You cannot remain here. I know you’re afraid. I know you have suffered, but this is no place for the living and I will not be able to remain with you. I can’t live with that.”
The child watched him. Confusion twisted her face and she resumed crying into her hands.
Frustration and panic warred with his desire to reach her. He fought the need to scoop her up and run, but in the world of vision there was no substance to grab.
