Page 58 of Joshua's Mistake
“Adianca, Shaman, what do I do?”
His guide’s voice vibrated the air. “The child does not understand, Lakeland. Your woman has shattered into pieces. You must find the woman who is lost. This is only the representation of fear. Search for strength.”
Joshua hated to leave Tessa’s fear behind. He wanted to cradle her and prove that in spite of what had happened in Florida he would always protect her. Yet Adianca’s words echoed in his mind. He had to find Tessa’s strength and it was clear the child could not help him get her back.
Even as he had the thought the crying faded and he was alone again.
Moving through the mire of his own battles and pushing aside his doubt held him back and made going forward more difficult. The hum of her familiar aura forced him forward. The closer he came to the distinct vibration the more he realized there was something wrong. This was not the pure light that perfectly resounded with his own vibration. What he felt and heard had a darker essence, though it was, without a doubt, still Tessa.
When he found her she was young, though not as young as the frightened child. This Tessa was a teenager of maybe fourteen or fifteen, beautiful and awkward but not yet a woman. She was not huddled or afraid. Her long platinum hair stood out wildly and strands partially hid her face.
She was intent on something he could not make out. As he approached, the scene she’d created became clearer. She’d devised a room filled with glass and mirrors. The teen’s eyes narrowed on a table stacked high with china.
“Tessa, what are you doing?” he asked.
She whirled around, grabbed a plate from the table and whipped it in his direction. Nothing was solid and yet he ducked out of the way and felt the air ripple as the plate went by. It crashed against the walls of the phantom room.
A wicked smile twisted the teen’s lips.
“Go,” she said. Another plate sped past as if it were a Frisbee.
Again, Joshua ducked. “You’re angry at me. I understand. I should have taken better care of you. Just relax and we can talk about it.”
The scream retched from Tessa’s lungs and pierced his heart. If his ears could have been affected in the spirit world they would have stung and he’d have covered them. As it was he felt her anguish on a deeper level and found he had inadvertently moved away.
She growled low in her throat and reached for a gravy boat. Joshua braced for her to sling the china at him but instead she hurled it toward a large gilded mirror and both items shattered spectacularly.
A brick appeared in her hand and she crashed it into a window, which also burst into a million shards.
“Tessa, talk to me. I can help you. Come back with me.” He hated that he was begging and yet he would have gone to his knees and pleaded if it meant she would walk away from her destruction and return to him in the world of the living.
“Go!” She threw plates, cups and saucers in every direction, no longer even stopping to enjoy the spectacle of what she had done. Pure rage emanated outward from this version of his Tessa.
She could not be reasoned with. He wasn’t even sure she understood what he was saying to her. He backed away enduring the pain of leaving her behind yet again.
As suddenly as she had appeared, she was gone and the sound of shattering glass faded to nothing.
Almost immediately he saw another Tessa, standing in a park looking over a lake that rippled outward as if a pebble had been thrown in the center. He sensed her but again the light was missing from the woman he knew. As he drew closer he saw lines creased her brow and wrinkled round her eyes. Frown lines pulled her lips downward and a touch of silver-gray shaded her short-cropped hair.
“Tessa?”
“You shouldn’t have come here, Joshua.”
In spite of her objection to his coming, his heart lightened knowing she recognized him. “I could not let you leave me.”
“I have left. I have nothing to give. All is lost to me now.”
“That isn’t true. Come back to me and I’ll show you it will be all right.” He stepped closer and faced the older version of Tessa. Her beauty had not faded even though her spirit dimmed.
She would not meet his gaze. Her eyes remained locked on the ripples in the lake and he could see the reflection in their depths.
“You do not belong here. I am lost. You must go.” A single tear formed on the edge of her lid and tumbled down her cheek.
The sense of sorrow that accompanied her tear expanded outward and pushed him so hard he had to step back. He was drowning in her grief, gasping for breath. An instant later he wrapped his arms around her and was surprised to find her solid. He hoped that was a good sign. He wanted to give her comfort but could feel her sorrow growing. His embrace did not lend her strength or give her peace. It only increased her torment. As she wallowed deeper his ability to draw breath decreased.
Kane’s sharp voice cut through. “Josh? What’s happening? Whatever you’re doing you have to stop. Your body is dying.”
Joshua’s physical pain penetrated the vision and yet he did not let her go. He could not leave her again in her suffering, would not allow her to suffer alone. If Tessa was determined to leave the world and live on only in spirit, then he too would stay in the ether and become one with her.
