Page 20 of Foolish Bride
The carriage stopped, and Virginia spoke to a red-haired woman in an adjacent carriage. Elinor stared out the other side of the carriage, seeming to ignore the conversation, leaning her chin against her hand.
She looked sad, and his stomach twisted with the shame that he had caused her pain. Then, realizing his arrogance for assuming her malaise related to him, he shook his head. She was right about him. He was selfish and arrogant, and it was a character flaw. If luck was with him, he would get an opportunity to prove to her that he could change.
When the carriage moved off, he turned to Thomas. “Thank you, Tom. That is generous, but talking will not solve this problem. I am hopeful that time really does heal all wounds. In the meantime, I must pray that Lady Elinor does not fall in love with someone else. Though if she did, I would be inclined to wish her joy. She has endured enough at my hand.”
Thomas fidgeted in his saddle. “I am no gossip, Mike. However, I do have the ear of Lady Elinor’s dear friend, Lady Marlton. From what I have been told, Lady Burkenstock has been working night and day to find a husband for her daughter.”
Rage flashed through Michael, but he quelled it. “I should have guessed as much. The sooner she marries, the more the gossip will be controlled. Her father hates scandal of any kind.”
Thomas said, “My understanding is that Lady Elinor refuses to entertain any suitors at this time. The Earl is furious with his daughter, and her mother is in tears nearly all the time since father and daughter are at odds.”
“Will his lordship travel soon?” A plot tickled the back of Michael’s mind.
Thomas smiled. “I do not know if Lord Malmsbury’s diplomatic work will take him out of the country any time soon. Perhaps you could make some inquiries. You certainly have enough friends in high places and low ones.”
“I will give it some thought. If my health does not improve, there is really no point in pursuing this.” His emotions were a jumble.
The two of them walked their horses along a seldom-used path.
Thomas fidgeted with his reins, starting to speak twice and stopping. “Do you think your… ‘condition’… would matter to the young lady? I do not mean to pry into your personal affairs, Mike, but I should think if she loved you, it would make little difference to her. She is innocent. She might not even notice.”
She had said as much. Her father might have ended the engagement, but it was Michael who drove Elinor away. “She should have children.”
“Perhaps that is not important to her. Have you discussed the matter?”
Michael pushed a hallow laugh through his sorrow. “She has informed me that she would have been happy to raise any child, and it would not need to be her own.”
Thomas clapped his hands together. “See there. There are plenty of children in England who need a good home. She is a capital girl, Mike.”
“Yes, she is, but I will not relegate her to a life with a man who is not whole. I am certain that eventually she would come to hate me and find her pleasure elsewhere.”
“Nonsense. She does not seem the type.”
Michael petted his horse. “Three months ago, I would not have thought she was the type of girl who would stand toe-to-toe with a man holding a sword and tell him what a fool he is. I feel I hardly know her at this point. Who is to say that in five years, when she has tired of me, she won’t find pleasure with a real man?”
Fists on his hips, Thomas stared him down. “You do her a disservice speaking this way about her. She is a fine woman who loves you. It is true, she has changed since you ended your engagement. However, she has shown caring and honor. I have seen no duplicity in her character. Of course, she has been angry, but who could blame her?
“And Michael, it is none of my business, and I would not presume to tell you how to conduct your intimate affairs, but there are many ways to pleasure a woman.”
Anger flared in Michael. He jerked the reins, and the horse sidestepped. “Don’t you think I know that? But until I am whole and can be a real husband, I will not pursue Elinor Burkenstock. Not until I can consummate the marriage. She has been through enough at my hands. I want her to be happy. I know that in my current state, I can give her only misery.”
* * * *
When Elinor arrived at the Skivingtons’ ball, all eyes were on her. It was the first public event she had attended since the demise of her engagement. Some staring at her looked sympathetic. After all, the match with Sir Michael had been a love match, and all of London knew that fact. Others, mostly women with daughters of marrying age, looked triumphant, as if the failure of her impending marriage somehow gave them a leg up. Those small-minded people thought of the marriage mart as a winnable competition.
Elinor did her best to ignore them all, though with little success.
“My word, Elinor,” Lady Dorothea Flammel said. “I hardly recognized you.”
Mother had insisted she attend, and so she was there. She held her head up. She had taken special care to look her best in a daring blue gown. Mother had wanted her to return to wearing the pale pink and white dresses of a young girl trying to catch a husband. Elinor refused and insisted on dressing in the gowns that she had purchased for after her marriage. The darker blue wasn’t appropriate for an unmarried woman, but she didn’t care. “Hello, Dory. You look beautiful.”
Dory looked down at her pale blue dress. It was flattering, showing off her ample bosom. The fabric fell straight down from just under her breasts in the newest style from Paris. “I am outdone by far, dear Elinor. You are stunning. That dress makes me think that I should go back to wearing a corset.”
Elinor appreciated Dory’s attempt to amuse. “Your mother would be pleased.”
Dory cocked her head and winked. “In that case, I will continue with my current fashion choices.”
They laughed.
