Page 64 of Foolish Bride
“But you’re considering it.” His voice stung with anger.
Why did he always find the thing that would enrage her?“Why should I not consider a gentleman of good standing? A duke, for that matter. He is smart, kind, and seems to like me quite a lot.”
The light in his eyes dimmed. “Of course, you are right. Preston is a good man with a lot of money and power. As his wife, you would be quite comfortable. So why have you not accepted his offer, Elinor?”
She turned her back on him. “You know perfectly well why not.”
He came up behind her and pressed his body to hers. “Tell me, Elinor. Tell me why you haven’t said yes to Middleton.”
“Don’t, Michael.” She should slap him. She should run away, but he was an addiction she never wanted to break.
His hands rested on her shoulders, soothing the muscles she hadn’t realized were tight.
She leaned back against his strong chest, reveling in his touch. Loving the feel of him.
“Don’t ask you, or don’t touch you?” He kissed her collarbone and up the side of her soft neck.
“Don’t ask.” Longing for his touch, she tilted her head to the side.
“I must know. Will you accept his offer?” Urgency rang in his words.
She turned the tables. “Why does it matter to you, Michael?”
“You know why.”
“Tell me.” Even as her mind screamed for her to break away, her body betrayed her. She couldn’t keep her legs under her and leaned further into his strength.
His mouth was behind her ear, his warm breath on her neck, and just the slightest touch of his lips on the sensitive skin there.
“Because I love you, Elinor. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. You are my entire reason for living. I cannot imagine myself in a world where you are married to another man.” Love and rage echoed in his words.
She should have been afraid, but she wasn’t. He would never harm her physically, but emotionally this man could destroy her. Pulling away, she turned to face him. “How do I know you won’t abandon me again? Twice you have left me to be the fool, both publicly and privately. Twice you have deserted me for the easy road.”
Elinor still harbored the old anxiety relating to his disappearance. When caught in a scandal, he had fled London, leaving her to suffer the gossips alone. He had returned weeks later with an explanation, but by then her friends had come to her rescue. Still, he’d forced her to endure the sneering ton alone.
He squared his shoulders and narrowed his eyes, opening his mouth to speak. But no words came out. Slumping, he sat in the chair and shook his head. “I do not know how to convince you, Elinor. I love you with all my heart. The first time, I left you so I could settle my father’s debts and earn enough money to be worthy of you. Perhaps I could have done that in some other way, but at the time, I could think of nothing.
“Then, after my injury, I was so angry and hopeless I did not want to ruin your life by saddling you with a crippled husband. I thought I was being kind, but I see now I was only being selfish. I thought that your father’s wishes reflected yours, and I was too embarrassed to confront you.”
Michael appeared genuinely distraught, but Elinor had waited a long time to say certain things and get certain answers. She wouldn’t waste the opportunity. “It occurs to me, in both cases, you did not consult me on your course of action. I did not even receive a note from you when our engagement ended, and the note I received when you left London last year was not adequate. Should I expect that if we are married, this same disregard for my feelings will continue? Am I to be discarded at the whim of your character?”
Looking at her with wide blue eyes, he might have been lost. “I…I do not know what to say to this. I was a fool to think you would need no more information, and arrogant to have believed you would wait for me no matter the circumstances. It was cowardly and now all I can do is beg your forgiveness and swear that I will stand by you no matter what choices you make going forward.”
This declaration piqued her curiosity. “Even if I decide to marry Preston?”
His expression filled with pain and anguish. “Even then, you may always count on my support. I shall stand down my efforts and respect your decision. If ever you should need me, you will only have to ask. Regardless of whom you marry, I am at your service.”
She had to consciously make an effort to close her mouth. She dropped to her knees in front of him. Placing her hands on his cheeks, tears filled her eyes. “I have not accepted Middleton because I am in love with you and I always will be. Michael, how do we reconcile all that has happened? How do we go forward in society with all we have done? My parents will never allow me to accept you over Middleton, no matter your title.”
She sat back on her heels. It was impossible.
“All these things can be overcome if you still love me.” He brushed away her tears.
“It has just occurred to me that you have not said a word about marriage. It is customary to wait for the gentleman to ask before…”
Pushing back the chair, he fell to his knees and lifted her by the waist so that she was back on her feet. He looked up, his eyes brimming with tears. “It is I who should kneel before you, Elinor. You should always be above me. I know that I am not worthy of you but, by God, I want you so badly that I do not care about my worth. I am begging you to say no to Middleton and marry me. I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. If you want me to conquer countries, then I will do it. If you want jewels, then I shall sell everything to see you sparkle with diamonds and rubies. Tell me what you want, and it will be yours.”
His eyes were liquid pools of blue.
