Page 13 of An Honorable Arrangement
Sorrow filled his eyes, but his jaw ticked as it had when he was angry. "Because I find you more attractive than I should, and we are alone in your bedroom. I am only human."
She had to force her mouth closed while he stepped back from her to the door. Even so, she couldn't think of anything intelligent to respond with, and when he left, she bolted the door behind him.
Food seemed unappealing until her stomach gave an angry rumble. It had been kind of him to bring luncheon. She took the cover off to reveal crusty bread that filled the room with the most delightful yeasty smell, cheese, a small slab of beef, butter, and jam.
She ignored the flagon of wine in favor of the teapot. After witnessing her father's slovenly drunkenness, she hardly knew if she'd ever take wine again. Even thinking of Bertram Sommers brought her close to tears. How had he come to such a pass? She couldn’t believe her mother would have married him in that state, so it was in part Sarah's fault he'd become so misused.
Still dwelling on things she didn't have enough information to understand, Sarah finished the food, leaving only half of the butter behind. She'd been hungrier than she'd thought. With one change of clothes in her bag, there were no decisions to be made as she dressed. Her hair was still damp, but she managed to pull her brush through it and made it into a knot at the back of her head. Giving her appearance a good look in the glass, she shrugged and pulled on her overcoat, and went downstairs.
Montgomery waited by the front door and smiled when he saw her. "You look lovely, Miss Sommers."
"I look a mess, but thank you, Mr. Witman." She took his offered arm and they left the Wayfarer.
The streets of Bristol were crowded. The sun was low as the church bells rang out three chimes.
"Do you think you will wish to see your father again?" he asked as they strolled past a hat shop. It was so casually asked, she almost missed the content.
Sarah sighed. "I don't know. I feel some responsibility for his state, but he frightened me."
"Me as well."
She stopped. "You were afraid?"
"If Captain Phillips hadn't been there, I don't know if I could have fully protected you, Sarah. Of course, I was scared you might come to harm."
She understood. "Because you promised your aunt you would see me safely to Sussex."
Walking on, he shook his head. "Indeed, that is my obligation, but I wouldn't like to see any harm come to you. I wish I could have protected you from him more than putting myself physically in his path."
"It was my own impulse that caused any pain I now suffer, Montgomery. You are not at fault. I have cost you money and time. You will miss your holiday with your family and be forced to spend that time with a stranger in some inn on the road to Sussex. You know, if you left me here, you might be able to attend your aunt and uncle’s masquerade ball." She could manage once Mary arrived. "Mrs. Pratt will be here soon, and we shall be fine."
"I have no intention of leaving you behind. My aunt and uncle will understand. I sent a letter while you ate, explaining that we had been delayed and there was nothing to worry about." His casual tone was like a balm.
Still, it was a bad way to begin with Lord and Lady Stapleton. "They will think everything they've heard about me is true."
"What would they have heard?" His eyes twinkled charmingly when he thought her wrong.
"That I am willful and unmindful. They would be right to think it. I have not behaved as I aught." It frightened her that she might be put out on the street before she could secure a position as a nanny or companion. "You might tell them that I am a nice girl and have only good intentions to be an obedient ward."
His laugh was too delightful not to pull a smile from her. "Is that true?" he asked.
"Yes. No. I don't know if I can be obedient, but I will try." Frustration seared through her. "Do you think your aunt will like me? Maybe I should try again with my father when he is sober. Perhaps my being here will inspire him to drink less."
"My aunt will adore you." He sounded quite certain of himself.
"How can you be sure?" They approached the lovely church, and she looked up at the large windows and spires.
"Because you are adorable, Sarah," he whispered, closer than he should be in public.
Her heart pounded, and warmth swept over her from head to toe. A delicious need settled inside her, and she wished he would kiss her. Never had she wanted any man to kiss her, and certainly not in the last four years. "Perhaps we had better return."
Straightening, he sighed. "As you wish."
They walked back the way they had come, and after a long silence, he asked, "You know I would never harm you, don't you?"
"I know nothing of what men will or won't do beyond my own experience, and as you now know, that has not been favorable," she blurted before she could stop herself.
He stilled and dropped his arm, which forced her to let go. "Sarah, if I wanted to take advantage of you in the way you imply, I would have done so in your room earlier. I am not the sort of man who takes what is not freely offered."
