Page 25 of An Honorable Arrangement
Actually, she liked everything about Montgomery Witman. She especially liked how adamant he'd been about her not marrying Captain Phillips. Of course, her behavior had been terrible, and Montgomery likely thought her wild and more suited to be a mistress than a wife. Her father's disposition likely didn't help her standing either.
"You are frowning, Sarah. Did something make you unhappy?" Concern laced his query, and he turned her through the waltz.
She commanded herself to make up some benign lie, yet the truth came tumbling out. "I began to think of what will happen when we arrive in Sussex."
"I see." he drew her slightly closer. "I assure you, my relatives will be very kind to you."
She shook her head but lacked the courage to ask what she longed to know. "Do you live far from Willoughby Castle?"
While he watched a long moment, his eyes held more kindness than she could bear. "I generally reside in London, but am always at your service, Sarah."
What more could she ask for? It wasn't such a bad thing to have made a friend of her guardian's nephew. Forcing a smile, she pushed aside her darker thoughts and enjoyed the dance.
Fully determined to not let whatever may or may not happen in a few days ruin her chance to enjoy the evening, Sarah danced with many partners. Montgomery asked to be her partner twice more and each time gave her a thrill no other did.
Even Mrs. Pratt indulged in most of the dances. It was after three when she begged to go to bed and Sarah had little choice but to follow.
Montgomery escorted them back to their room.
Once Mary was inside, Sarah turned to him. "Will you return to the dancing?"
Shaking his head, he said, "No. It would not be the same without you there, Sarah."
Hope, or something like it, filled her chest. "I wanted to say that my behavior last night is not typical. I don't want you to think I go knocking on men's doors generally."
He closed the distance between them and pulled her away from the open door. "I know that, Sarah. You are mistaken to believe I think anything but the best of you."
With his mouth so close to hers, it was difficult to think of anything else, but she managed to sort out what he'd said. "I'm glad to know that."
Like a butterfly wing, his lips grazed hers. He kissed her cheek and her eyelids. "I wouldn't mind if you wanted to come to my room again and again."
Her breath caught. The idea should have sent her into the safety of her room to bolt the door, but she wanted him. Her body hummed with a need for things she'd thought horrifying just days before and things she’d not wanted since her childhood was stolen.
Misreading her stillness, he kissed her forehead. "It's all right, Sarah. There is no need to worry that I will take what is not given. I would never harm you in any way. I want you to come to my bed with joy and desire, never fear."
With one step back, Sarah peeked inside her room. Leaving the door open, she tiptoed in and doused the candle next to where Mary slept still in her clothes. A moment later, she stepped back into the hall where Montgomery stood staring. At once thrilled and a little scared, she reached out and took his hand.
He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the knuckles before leading her to the door at the end of the hall.
The room was quite like the one she shared with Mary. The bed stood in the center with dark draperies pulled back, exposing warm cream-colored linens. The fire licked and snapped as Montgomery closed the door and threw the bolt.
Her heart pounded a staccato despite her efforts to calm herself. Even with her riotous nerves, she didn't want to run away. She longed for Montgomery and wanted the chance to know what it would be like to have a man who genuinely liked her take her to his bed.
"Can I tell you a secret?" he whispered in her ear.
Turning so that she could rest her cheek on his chest, she wrapped her arms around him. "Yes."
His lips pressed to her hair, and he sighed. "If you left now, I would not be angry. If in ten minutes when I'm kissing you madly, you wanted to leave, I would not be angry. Even if we were both naked and you were in my arms and you wanted to leave, I would not be angry."
"I have a hard time believing that." Her voice quavered.
"And yet, it is true. I'm not going to lie to you and say I wouldn't be disappointed and perhaps frustrated, but tomorrow we would still be friends, and I would still want to court you." He cupped her cheek and eased her chin up so she met his gaze.
His shaft pressed hard against her pelvis, making it difficult to believe his declarations. "Really?"
"Yes, sweetheart. You are not, and never will be, obligated to have sex. I want you, and my desire is evident, but I can control myself. Besides, these moments are infinitely better when both parties are enthusiastic." A low chuckle vibrated against her through his chest.
The notion that women had choices in such things was foreign. Of course, she had decided to follow him to his room, but that he might let her leave without what they'd come for—she shook away the negative thoughts that plagued her. "This has long been one of the reasons I've not wished to marry, though I know I must."
