Page 15 of A Lady's Past
“I did not. I married a man who respected that my dreams were as important as his. We have been abroad twice since our marriage. We shall travel again soon, I think.”
Gaping, Diana didn’t know what to say.
“You look shocked, Miss St. Cloud.” Millie finished her tea and put her cup and saucer down on the table.
“I didn’t know such men existed. In the world I grew up in, when you married, you gave up childhood frivolity and settled for what your husband desired. I’m fairly certain this is the way of things in good society, yet you speak of a kind of partnership that is equal.” She had no idea why she was whispering. It wasn’t as if the conversation was of a personal nature.
Francis puffed up with pride. “My Millie would settle for nothing less.”
“You are not wrong, but there are other kinds of men. They are rare, but they exist. Men who view their wives as equal and worthy. Were your parents of a more traditional view?”
Father had worked on his experiments. Mother took care of things so he didn’t have to. She never complained and always looked happy. When she looked at him, her eyes lit with adoration. “My parents are both passed now, but they had a great love. Mother left home to live in Scotland with Father. They each had some part to play in the house, but I suppose in their way they were equal.”
She’d never thought about it before. As far as Diana knew, Mother had no dream to pursue some masculine occupation. It would be different for her. What man would want his wife toiling in some laboratory all day?
“I’m sure they were very happy. I’m very sorry you no longer have them with you.” Most people of the ton said they were sorry, as polite society demanded, but Millie Knowles’s eyes filled with tears. “I lost my parents to an illness when I was young. That is how I came to live with Uncle Francis.”
“I’m sorry for your loss, Your Grace. It is very hard to lose both parents.” Diana wished she could blot out the images of Mother and Father lying in pools of blood in that dungeon, but they were always with her.
Millie said, “For many years, I blamed myself for not doing more to save them. I was fifteen; I called the doctor, but it was too late. If I had been older and ignored their orders to wait, perhaps they might have lived. Then I realized, with Preston’s help, that these things were not in my control. I did what I could, and they died anyway. I miss them and mourn them, but there is no point in blame.”
Diana was directly responsible for her parents being killed. She might not have held the knife, but it was her virtue Father had been protecting. Still, Millie made a good point. People died and we couldn’t change the past by issuing blame. Father had protected her from rape and given her the strength to get out of that prison before they could torture her into complying with their wishes. “You are lucky to have a husband who supports you so completely.”
“Oh, what poor Middleton puts up with,” Doris said.
“He is very happy,” Millie scolded, but laughed, ruining the effect.
Doris huffed.
The way they all spoke filled Diana with joy she’d not felt in too long. This was a family. The kind she remembered and wanted. The kind she’d lost. “You have given me a lot to think about, Your Grace. It’s an interesting notion that such men exist.”
“My name is Millie, if you please. Let’s take a short walk together, Diana.” Millie stood.
“Millie, then.” Having little choice, Diana took Millie’s arm and they made a turn around the room together. Never in her life had she thought to have friends again, yet here were three people who liked her and wanted to spend time with her. And this was a duchess.
“I can see why Jacques likes you,” Millie whispered.
Warmth flushed Diana’s cheeks. “He is a kindhearted man who helped me when I was stranded. That is all. To say he likes me is far too bold. He took pity on me, and I am grateful.”
“If you say so.”
“I do.” They rounded near the window, and a light snow had covered the ground.
“It’s only that I’ve never known Jacques to speak of any woman. He never tells tales, though we know he has his liaisons. Since meeting you, he is distracted and full of energy. I also have it on good authority he is not keeping a mistress. He gave her up before his parents arrived because of his busy schedule and has not taken up with anyone new.”
“I’m not anyone’s mistress.” Anger rose from deep inside Diana.
Millie stopped and faced her. “I never meant to imply you were. Forgive me. I only meant that he is free of other obligations that might keep him away from you.”
Her assumption was ridiculous and had to be stopped. “Millie, I appreciate that you are very close to Mr. Laurent, and I’m flattered that you are fond enough of me to wish us together. However, we are not, nor shall we ever be. My life is…complicated. He would be far better off with a nice woman who did not have such a burden-filled past.”
Taking her arm once again, Millie continued around the room. “Be that as it may, he does not seem interested in that make-believe woman. He speaks only of you.”
Continuing to argue the point was silly. Besides, Diana couldn’t help loving the fact that she was on Jacques’s mind, even if being part of his life was impossible.
* * *
True to his word, on Thursday Francis picked them up and brought them to the Royal Academy. A tall staircase and ornate arches loomed above them. A sea of men in black coats and hats filed through the doors.
