Page 63 of A Lady's Past
At some point Cecilia came in and put her in her bedclothes, but it was a foggy memory.
ChapterFifteen
Jacques wanted to go to Diana during the night, but it had been obvious the whiskey had gone to her head, and he was not a man to take advantage. In the morning he’d searched the house for her, but not found her.
Panic had begun to set in when he spotted her walking in Mrs. Fallcraft’s garden. It was the place where they had always visited his father’s headmistress in the summers. This was the first time he’d ever stepped into the garden in winter.
Diana walked along the edge of the garden wrapped in brown fur and cutting a path through several inches of snow that had fallen overnight. The snow continued, and as long as it did, Alex was probably right about Diana being safe. Still, he worried about her being alone.
“Shall I join you or would you prefer privacy?” He kept his hands clasped at his back to avoid his need to reach out and touch her.
“You are most welcome.” A soft pink blush brightened her cheek.
“I know I have no right to dictate, but it would be better if you did not walk alone until all of this madness is in our past.”
“And you believe this will eventually be past?” She kept her hands inside the fur and her gaze ahead.
He didn’t like her avoiding his gaze, and stepped in front of her. “I do believe it.”
Cocking her head, she smiled and finally brought her gaze to his. “As you believe you will spend Christmas with your parents. To make that happen, you will have to be on your way very soon.”
“My parents will be disappointed, but I sent a note yesterday explaining that a dear friend was in need of my help. I told them I would come as soon as possible. They will understand.” Leaving Diana was not an option he would entertain, not while she was in danger, not ever.
“If you left today you could be with them on the holiday. They are probably missing you—and what of His Grace’s family? You should both be home. The Duke of Kerburghe is packing to leave today. You should go as well.” She put more distance between them and walked toward the fountain.
Reaching out, he held her arm. “Michael has many children, who need their father to be home for the holiday. Preston and I are not in that situation. His mother and Millie are in the country with my mother and father. They are all safe and happy. Our place is here with you until you are safe, and then Preston will go to his wife.”
Emotion raced across her face. “And you will go to your parents.”
“I will go wherever you are, Diana. I’ll not leave you.” It was time she knew how he felt.
Tugging her arm back, she bit her bottom lip. “I cannot be what you want.”
Lord, how he longed to nibble on that lip. “I want you just as you are.”
The rough scratch of her voice tightened with raw emotion. “In spite of all I’ve done and been through, I will never be a mistress to anyone. I may be alone in the world, but I feel my parents inside me watching.”
Shocked that she would think him such a rake, he released her arm. Had he been so vague in his desire that she would believe he only wanted a mistress? Jacques chased after her, past the fountain, toward the castle, and caught her near the small veranda. “Diana, stop.”
Obeying, but keeping her back toward him, she held her shoulders rigid.
“Please look at me.” His own heart raced as if he’d run miles rather than just across the tiny garden.
Diana turned with tears streaming down her face. “It occurred to me this morning that we had spoken twice about your desire not to marry. I wish I was more like the girl in the dining room last night or the one who asked to be held through the night. She was too bold and perhaps gave you the wrong impression. I don’t blame you. I’ve behaved like a woman of little morals. What else were you to think?”
Jacques didn’t know if he was angry, hurt, or stupid, but he could hear no more of this. “Stop talking, Diana.” He backed her up to a wall that separated the veranda from the garden. “I think and have thought nothing wanton about you. I love you, Diana MacLeod. You taking the kiss you wanted last night was one of the nicest moments of my life. Holding you while you sleep is my greatest honor and sweetest memory. I hope you will always take from me exactly what you need. You never have to ask me for my lips to kiss or my arms to hold you. I shall make love with you at even the hint of your desire. I long to bring you pleasures you cannot yet imagine, and I will do so as soon as you give permission. I could never and will never leave you, Diana. You are a part of my soul now, a deep imprint that can never be washed away. I am an ass to have led you to believe I would make you my mistress. You could never be my mistress, and I shall never have one. If you want me as I need you, I will take you across the border a few miles and marry you as soon as it is safe to do so.”
She swallowed and stared at him with wide, tearful eyes.
Unable to resist, he pressed his lips to her throat. “Tell me what you want from me, goddess.”
The snowstorm grew heavier, a blanket of white all around them.
“I want you.” Barely audible, she said the words and buried her face in his chest.
Jacques slid his arms under her fur cloak and pulled her tight against him. His body tightened with desire. “Does that mean you will marry me, Diana?”
“If you still want me when this is all over, I will marry you, Jacques.” Her heart beat against his chest.
