Page 73 of Light and Shadow
I cut long strips of muscle with my knife and drop them in a bucket of seawater. Someone else takes the meat to another bucket before hanging it to dry in the sun. A few weeks ago, I had Paul downstairs at the deli cooking most of my meals.
My mind drifts to my mother. I miss her. I know she’s safe and healthy now, but I miss her. She wouldn’t recognize me if she saw me today.
Aaran’s soft warm breath tickles my earlobe. “I think she’d be extremely proud of you.”
“Stop listening, or I’ll block you again.” It’s a scolding, but I can’t help loving that he’s here for me whether I’m distraught over a deer or thinking of my mom. The image of those three children and the dragons tries to press to the front of my thoughts, but I push it back. I don’t want to know the future unless it’s a guarantee we’ll survive the battle with the witch queen.
As I drop the last of the meat into the bucket, I step back. My hands are covered in blood, and my fingers ache from the unfamiliar kind of work.
Cara wraps an arm around me and leads me to a soapy bucket of water where I wash my hands and the knife. With her kind smile, she takes my still-damp hands between hers and closes her eyes. Her easy magic flows through me, like stepping into a hot bath and relaxing.
My muscles relax, and my pain subsides. “Thank you.”
Releasing my hands, she kisses my forehead and walks away.
The hot sun bakes down on me. I suppose it’s good for curing the meat, but I’m tired. I slip down the stairs to my cabin and strip off my sweaty clothes. In the small basin of water, I wash as best I can and pull the long white shirt over my head. It’s so big, there’s no need to unbutton it.
I climb into the bed and close my eyes. Visions of dragons and beautiful babies with green eyes and pointed ears fill my dreams. I never thought I’d want children, but now I’m not sure.
Part of me hears the cabin door open and close several times. I feel Aaran close, then farther away. The fragrance of warm spices and cooked meat wakes me.
Stretching long like a cat, I open my eyes. It’s dark outside the window but the cabin is lit by an unseen source that I assume is magic.
Smiling down at me, Aaran holds a steaming wooden bowl. “You should eat something.”
My stomach rumbles in agreement. Sitting up, I shake away the dreams. “It’s the first time I’ve slept without nightmares since the black castle.”
He sits beside me and hands me the bowl and spoon. “Maybe you were too tired for dreams.”
“I had dreams.” I eat the stew and avoid the fact that my dreams were focused on that same vision that caused our argument.
He blushes. “I see. Well, then better thoughts have taken the place of those horrors. I’m glad of that.” Toying with the hair that has escaped my braid, he kisses my temple.
There’s a lot of laughing and stomping above. “Everyone is fed and happy?”
“Yes. It’s quiet at sea, and we have enough food to get us home.” He pauses. “Well, it’s my home. So many people and still a long way to go.”
I finish the food and put the bowl aside. “We will make it. We have to.”
His gaze slips to the sheets. “I’ve been thinking.”
I search his gaze. He’s sour on whatever has been on his mind. “What?” I push his hand from my hair.
Letting out a heavy sigh, he stands. He’s too big for the small cabin, and one step brings him to the other side of the available space. “You and I have to get to Tús Nua. The fate of Domhan depends on that. It’s been long enough that we could portal there.”
“And leave these people behind?” I can’t believe what I’m hearing.
“It’s too important that we get home, Harper.” He stares at me with his fists at his sides. “These people will be safer without you on this ship.”
It’s a lie. I feel it. “If that were true, you would have left them behind and there would only be a few of us aboard. She will come for them regardless of my presence. She’ll do it just to hurt me, and we won’t be here to protect them. No. I’m not leaving them.”
“You are more important than these people. You have to survive.” He leans over me, his arms on either side of me, pressing into the mattress.
I jab my finger in the center of his chest. “Aaran Riordan, look me in the eye and tell me that you believe one life is worth more than the next. Tell me that you’ll be able to live with yourself if these people die at sea and we survive. Can you know that they died on a journey we started together, and go on with your princely life?”
“I don’t have a princely life.” He moves away and leans on the inside of the door. “I have a normal life.”
“Answer the question.” I sit up, cross my legs and watch him. I feel the split in his thoughts.
