Page 22 of A Heart to Find
“And we had to watch her eat because we didn’t have enough for us to order, too?”
“I forgot about that part.” His chuckle brought the memory to life. Why had she banished so many of these memories? Weren’t they part of her life, even if things didn’t end the way she had thought they would?
“Good times,” she teased.
“What’s up with your family now? How are your mom and sister doing?”
“Well…there have been a lot of changes. And to be honest, I don’t really know how they’re doing. They cut me out of their lives.”
Jared stopped the rolling pin mid-motion and gaped at her.
“Why on earth would they do that?”
Keira shrugged and threw all her negative energy into pressing the giant ball of dough. Her fingers hurt with the strain, but not as much as her heart hurt with the thoughts of all that had gone wrong.
“It’s a complicated story. Basically, they and my sister’s children lived with me?—”
“Hold up—she has children?”
“Yes, Kyla had a baby soon after she turned eighteen and another right before she turned twenty. Precious, precious babies. I was so excited to be an auntie!”
“I can imagine. You were always so good with kids.”
Tears welled in her eyes, but she refused to shed them. She had cried enough over this mess of a dysfunctional family, and she didn’t want him to see exactly how hard their rejection of her had hit.
“So they lived with you? Your mom and your sister and the kids?”
She nodded, trying to ignore the lump that formed in her suddenly dry throat. “They could never quite figure out how to manage on their own. I did my best, but sometimes their disregard for me built up. Eventually, they decided they didn’t need me anymore, and that was that. They moved out. Took the kids. Left behind a mess for me to clean up. And swore they’d never see me again.”
She couldn’t tell him the rest. Couldn’t speak it aloud. Couldn’t relive it.
Couldn’t see the pity on his face if he learned the full truth of what her sister and Keira’s fiancé had done to destroy their family.
Couldn’t elaborate on how much it pained her every single moment of every single day to think about how much she missed the children she had helped raise. Had provided for. Had loved with every beat of her heart.
Had thought she’d have in her life forever.
Jared reached his hand over and placed it on top of hers, ceasing her smashing of the dough for a moment.
“Keira, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how much that must hurt you. You always put your family first. My earliest memories of you are of you taking care of your sister. You always seemed so far beyond your years. So much older than you were, even though your sister wasn’t that much younger than you.”
She sniffled. She couldn’t help it. She hadn’t been able to unload much. Her best friend was supportive and let her talk about it at times, but she had always felt that Keira was being taken advantage of and was glad they were out of Keira’s life.
“This is just so unbelievable. You did more for them than anyone would for family members. How does your mom play into all of this?”
Keira let out a snicker. “Oh, she took Kyla’s side, of course.”
“I can’t believe I’m hearing this. Keira, you have always been the one to help that family run smoothly. You put them first always. I can’t imagine that changed.”
“That’s the problem, I think. They got used to me sacrificing. I guess they started to expect it. And to this day I would give them whatever they need, even in spite of the way they treated me. But I can’t live my life as a doormat. And they don’t know how to relate to me as anything but a place to collect their dirt.” She breathed pasta dough scented air deep into her lungs. “Robyn thinks they resented me because I had my life more or less together and they could never quite get there. I don’t know. It’s a theory, I guess.”
“Makes sense. People tend to resent those who have power over them.”
“I never wanted power. I just wanted to help. And I also wanted to live my life without unnecessary stress and negativity. You know, half the time they’d act mad at me but refuse to tell me what they were even mad about. It’s so hard living with people who won’t be truthful. Who won’t even give you a chance to fix whatever they think is wrong.”
“I’m so sorry for all you’ve gone through with them.”
“The worst part is how much I miss the kids. I mean, I thought I was close with my mother, too. I never expected her to turn her back on me the way she did. She didn’t even try to understand where I was coming from. That hurt. A lot. But not seeing the precious faces of the nephew and niece that I helped raise? It’s like I’m mourning a death, only they’re still alive. And they probably don’t understand why Auntie Keira disappeared from their lives.”
