Page 60 of A Heart to Find
“I agree. I especially liked the reminder about taking time before reacting to something that upsets us, but about making sure to return to the issue once you’ve calmed down. My grandmother was pretty good about that sort of thing. She’d send Grampy out to do some chores in the yard while she did what she called ‘angry cleaning’, then she’d call him back in, set out some coffee, and let him know what she was upset about. I didn’t usually pay any attention to their conversations, but they always ended with a hug and a dance around the kitchen to their oldies records. And yes, they had an actual record player.”
“That’s so cute. You’re so lucky to have had them.”
“That’s for sure,” Keira agreed. “My mother was more of a grudge holder. A proud one, too. She thought forgiveness was a weakness. The idea of having a conversation about what upset her would have made her laugh. Why talk about it when you can stew?”
Megan nodded. “My parents were both like that. Until my dad ditched, anyway. Who knows what he became after that? Maybe he took a seminar and became a very good listener.”
Together in their dysfunction, they wheezed in laughter.
Once she calmed down, Keira reached over for one of the delicious little sandwiches on the tiered stand in the center of their table.
“I do think that’s why my relationships with my family so easily dissolved when put to the fire, though.” Keira felt her appetite slipping away, but she forced herself to nibble the delectable-looking sandwich, anyway. “I guess I fall more along the lines of someone who wants to work it out than someone who wants to watch things implode.”
Megan put her sandwich down and folded her hands on the table. “Keira, I haven’t known you long, but I feel like I’ve known you forever. And I can tell the kind of person you are. I’m sorry you’ve been hurt by so many people you’ve trusted, but I hope you’ll never let that light go out inside you.”
Keira nodded and smiled, grateful for her new friend.
“Sometimes it’s hard to see the good in yourself when people close to you treat you poorly. But I am so glad you’re in my life. We will be friends forever after this.”
“Yes! Sisters of the heart. I prefer the idea of picking my own family rather than being stuck with the ones I was biologically given. Neither of us won the family love jackpot, but I feel like I’m winning now that I know you.” Megan picked up her sandwich and took another bite. “And now it’s time to finish the story you started telling me earlier. About your match…”
Keira’s joy swept away the fog of sadness. Sisters of the heart. She loved that idea. Though she had loved her mother and sister enough to want only the best for them, the fact that they didn’t want the same for her had been holding her hostage in her own swamp of pain and disenchantment. But knowing there were people out there who would choose to love her and who rooted for her simply because she was worthy enough… well, there were no words strong enough to describe how she felt. Earning the love and loyalty of people when she didn’t even have to sacrifice or hope for it felt foreign. And she liked it.
Sitting up straighter in her seat, she shared with Megan all about the epiphany she had earlier when she was with Jared, though she left out the part about having the teensy bit of remaining doubt that resurfaced as soon as she parted from him.
She’d pretend that doubt wasn’t there. She knew it was a remnant of fear. Nothing more. Jared had been open with her about everything, and he wasn’t there to hurt her.
She could trust him.
She would trust him.
“And Matt? Has he proposed yet?” Keira giggled.
“I’d be lying if I said we haven’t talked about rings and things…”
“Oh my goodness, Megan! That’s amazing for you!”
“It’s crazy, isn’t it? It’s only been a week. But I just… I just know he’s the one for me.”
“I am in full agreement,” Keira declared, reaching over to squeeze Megan’s wrist. “I could not be happier for you.”
“We’re not engaged or anything. We’ve talked about our future. For now, we’re enjoying the present.”
“Wise, wise move. I fully approve.”
“It makes me so happy to know you’re in the same boat with Jared. I want you to be as annoyingly happy as me.”
“Whoa, hold up. We’re not in that boat. I’m trying on the idea of venturing onto the deck. I still have my life jacket on, though. Not taking any major risks.”
Who was she kidding? If things went south at this point, her heart would shatter.
No life jacket in the world could protect her from drowning in the tears she would shed.
“Positive thoughts—that’s what we promised each other,” Megan reminded. “I can see you going down that dark path in your head… don’t do that, my friend.”
“You’re right. I won’t. Thank you.”
Nibbling on a raspberry and dark chocolate teacake, Megan turned the subject to something Keira had been trying not to obsess over.
