Page 74 of A Heart to Find
Megan chuckled. “One of these days I’m going to let it slip that you call him that. It’s too adorable.”
“And so are you. Now go. Enjoy all the romance so I can live vicariously through you.”
“Oh, Keira. I so wish things could be different.”
“Enough of the pity party for me, love. No pity here. I’m perfectly fine with things just as they are.”
Thank goodness Megan couldn’t see Keira’s hair sticking to her tear-stained face or the history on Keira’s mobile. She would have known that Keira had, indeed, been wallowing in self-pity. That she had been scrolling through photos of the children she may never see again, reading old messages of love, support, and accolades from the mother and sister she had thought she was so close to. Had tortured herself watching videos of family vacations Keira had sponsored where they all created such beautiful memories.
Videos of the children Keira loved so much acting goofy, loving, sweet.
Her heart ached with the longing to see those kids again, to hold them in her arms and reassure them that she didn’t walk away willingly. That she had wanted to work things out with the family so she could stay in their lives, but that the family had orchestrated things and manipulated things to put a wall between Keira and all of them. A wall that Keira could only penetrate by abolishing her carefully constructed boundaries that had been meant to protect all of their relationships.
Things had gone too far, and there was no way for Keira to fix this mess. She could forgive all the betrayal and disloyalty, but she couldn’t rebuild relationships when she was the only one willing to put in the work.
Though she had always believed that family was worth any sacrifice, she had to accept that some people were best loved from afar. Using the children as weapons to control her was a toxic move, but she had no legal rights to fight for.
And now she had allowed herself to fall back into a situation that had the potential to wound her in the exact same way.
Her heart couldn’t handle another lost child. Sure, being a teacher had prepared her to say goodbye to children she loved at the end of every school year, but this was different.
If she allowed herself to stay with Jared, she would fall head over heels in love with his daughter. And history had proven that no matter how strong a relationship seemed, it could fall apart at any moment.
She’d have no claim on Hailey. No rights. Just like with her ex’s child. Just like with her nephew and niece.
No matter how ferociously she loved Jared, her heart couldn’t take another attack like that.
Megan’s text saying she’d see her soon at the board game event startled Keira. Where had the day gone?
She hurried into the shower, scrubbing her face to rid herself of all evidence of her self-indulgent pity session.
She actually looked forward to laughing and playing with Megan and Matt. She certainly could use the distraction.
And no way would Jared show up for something as benign as board games—especially when she had so dramatically rejected him on the balcony. By now he’d know she was serious about there being no future, and since he had always disliked board games, he’d have a perfect excuse to avoid them. This wasn’t one of the mandatory participation events. She’d be safe. She could be social and breathe.
She welcomed the distraction.
When she arrived at the door of the room where the games were being held, she was stopped by a short woman with bold glasses resting on the edge of her nose.
“Name? I’ll find your seating assignment.”
“Is this the board game event? I’m looking for my friends. I plan to sit with them.”
“Seating is assigned. What’s your name?”
“Seriously? I let my kindergartners make their own choices about where to play.”
The woman shrugged and smiled. “Founders’ rules.”
Keira muttered an insincere but polite thank you to the woman as she directed her to the correct table. Maybe she’d make some new friends. Maybe she’d meet someone else whose match hadn’t worked out. That would be sad for them, but reassuring for her.
Residing on the Island of Love wasn’t exactly fun when your love had been sliced and diced and left to rot.
She made it too close to the table to turn around and run by the time she noticed Jared sitting across from the only empty seat at the six-person table.
The other couples rushed to introduce themselves as she pulled out her chair. She put on her very best, enthusiastic, social face and told them she looked forward to beating them all at whatever games they played.
And she carefully avoided looking directly at Jared.
