Page 79 of A Heart to Find
She could lose the right to be in the child’s life. She could get hurt. She could unwittingly hurt the child.
But closing herself off to the possibility of loving the man and the child was a greater gamble than she could take.
Yes, she wanted him. The full package. The traveler. The father. The brother-in-law. The risk-taker. The compassionate, kind caretaker. The man who honored a dying woman’s wishes even after she was gone. The man who ran across the globe to find the mother who had abandoned him so he could reconnect with her before she left the Earth. The man who danced a laminated photo of a bear on a table to make his little girl laugh.
The man who had shown love, tolerance, and respect to her every moment of the last two weeks, no matter how unbearable she had been.
Closing her hotel room behind her, she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, a thrill running through her as her decision cemented itself in her brain.
Tomorrow she would tell him. She didn’t want to wait, but they had made a plan and she would stick to it.
Tonight she would dream of the beautiful life they would make together.
She had no idea where the decision would lead her. Where they’d live, how they’d handle her job and his travel.
But she knew she wanted this. More than anything.
Yes, tonight she’d be dreaming. But this time her eyes would be wide open.
Chapter 19
She arrived at the cocktail party early. Early enough to be one of the first people there. She wanted to see his face when he walked in the room. She wanted to see all the hope and joy and pride she felt emanating from him, too.
Her leg trembled with nervous energy. She ran her hands over the metallic skirt she bought from one of the cute boutiques that set up special shops in the lodge in an effort to bring retail opportunities to the snowbound guests. Her attention had immediately been drawn to this outfit, which she imagined would help her look as much like a winter princess as she could. And, unlike the clothing she had packed to bring along, this was an outfit chosen with only him in mind.
The silver pleated skirt and complementary black top with the plunging neckline made her feel more confident than her usual less flashy attire, and she needed every bit of confidence she could get.
Her dreams last night had included a fairytale winter wedding, complete with a velvet dress and a sleigh ride where they could hold hands and kiss and revel in their love.
Surrendering to love wasn’t something she did every day.
And she wanted to be sure she looked good while doing it, so she also hired someone to do her hair and make-up for this special night, per Megan’s suggestion.
Couples streamed into the room, and the lights were dimmed as servers circulated with colorful drinks and dainty hors d’oeuvres.
Her stomach too unsettled for food, she cautiously sipped at a drink. She didn’t want to numb herself to every feeling tonight. She longed to feel every bit of joy this road had promised.
The longer it took for him to show, the thirstier she seemed.
She checked her phone to see if she missed a call or text, but nothing appeared. Her reception in the building was spotty, so she gave him the benefit of the doubt. She had, after all, arrived much earlier than she needed to, so if he was running behind, she owed him patience.
Couples she mingled with before passed her, pausing for small talk and to compliment her on her appearance before moving on to explore the room. She checked her phone again. The event officially began fifteen minutes ago. No word from Jared.
Don’t think worst-case.
He probably lost track of the time. Or figured she’d come in late. Or maybe Hailey wanted to tell him more of her exuberant stories. Or maybe he went to the wrong part of the lodge.
Or maybe he changed his mind.
She downed her drink in one sip, and then grabbed another as soon as the waiter passed by.
Megan and Matt bounded over to her empty table and greeted her with love, then set down their small appetizer-laden plates and joined her.
“Where’s Jared? Getting you food?” Megan perused the room in search of the man in question.
Keira sipped her drink and shook her head.
“I don’t think he’s coming.”
