Page 21 of As I Am
Carson shook his head. "I can't imagine what you've gone through."
Ky shrugged. "I survived."
"Which is amazing in itself." He reached for Ky's hands. "Don't you get tired of having sex with guys like that?"
"That's why you were such a nice change. It's why I thanked you for letting me be me. I didn't feel dirty when I was with you like I do with some of the others."
"Will you ever quit?"
"Oh yeah. Once I get a job with enough hours to make it. I'm getting closer. The problem is, it's easy money. I can make more in a night on the street than I can in a week of working."
"That isn't right."
"Right or wrong, that's the way it is. Until I have a job that can support me, this is what I have to do." Ky really didn't want to talk about it with Carson. It was easy to forget when he was with him. He didn't want to discuss his life and have himself pulled right back into the nightmare. Carson might be paying him, but he wasn't treating him like a toy or a thing. He wanted to enjoy it as long as he could.
Carson flipped off the TV and rolled and reached for Ky's hand. "What if I made you an offer for a job for three weeks?"
Ky bit his bottom lip, curious what Carson had in mind.
"See, the thing is, when I go on tour, I spend the nights locked up in my room, or I pick some guy out of the groupies and take up to the room for a night. I'm tired of that. Like I said before, I can't relax with other men. I feel like everything I say or do is going to end up on the news. It's just sex, and half the time not even good. I'm tired of that." Carson brought Ky's hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. "What I am proposing is, how about you join me on tour and take on the role of my boyfriend. It would be for three weeks, and I'd pay you…" Carson shrugged. "Say, ten thousand dollars to do it? That should cover the money you'd be losing here, plus give you enough to help you get on your feet when you get back."
Ky's eyes widened. That was more money than he'd ever dreamed of having at one time.
"I don't mean to offend you, if I did. I like your company, and I'd invite you to come with me anyway, but I know you need the money, and you wouldn't even consider it if you weren't getting paid." Carson released Ky's hand. "I just really like being around you. The thought of getting off stage and having you there waiting for me excites me. I can be myself with you. I won't have to deal with all the groupies if I have you by my side, and I know that you and I connect. We'll get along."
Ky shook his head. "That's a long time to be gone. I'd lose my job." He was honestly thinking about Bryan. There was no way he could leave his brother for three weeks. Still, that was a ton of money, and he could really use it to get his life in order.
"You could talk to your boss and explain to him. He might hold the job for you. You said you weren't getting a ton of hours there anyway. Would it be so hard to find another job once you got back? One with more hours?"
"This is nuts. You of all people don't need to pay for companionship. You could have almost any guy out there you wanted." Ky hated the thought of passing up that kind of money, but he had to think about Bryan first.
"Just think about it, okay. I leave next week on tour. It's three weeks, nine or ten shows. We fly from city to city. I'd be with you most of the time. I have sound checks, some meet and greets, and the actual show where you'd be on your own, but I'd get you a seat at every show, and you can sit in on sound checks if you want. It can get crazy, but that's why I want you there. With you by my side, hopefully the groupies will back off a bit. I won't be sitting alone in my hotel room at night, hiding out. I'll have you there to keep me company."
Carson sounded like he really hated the life he lived. Ky would have thought being rich and famous gave him everything he could want, but he really sounded like he didn't have a friend in the world. He had to be desperate to ask someone he hardly knew to come with him, and offer him that kind of money to do it. "I don't know." Ky bit at his lip.
"Take a few days and think it over. I'll have to fly home to California a couple days before the tour starts. So I guess next Wednesday at the latest. If you want to come with me, I'll need to know by Tuesday. That gives you three, almost four days to think about it."
"Why me?" Ky shook his head. He shouldn't even be considering this, but he was.
Carson smiled. "Can you tell me that you haven't enjoyed being together? I like you, Ky. A lot. It's been a long time since I've felt a connection with someone like I do you. I know you are just doing your job, but I don't like to think about that. In a normal world, I'd ask you out, date you, see where this goes between us, but neither of our lives our normal. I spend half the year on tour or in a studio. You work the streets and do whatever you have to so you can survive. I'm trying to find a way that we can keep seeing each other, while at the same time helping each other out. I need someone to keep me company, you need money. It just works."
Ky was flattered to think that a guy like Carson would want him. He had to admit that he did feel more for Carson than he had any other man he'd ever been with, and Carson had gone out of his way to treat him as if he wasn't just a warm body to fuck. Yeah, they had amazing sex, but the fact they were on the bed with food trays between them showed that it wasn't all about the sex. "If I go with you, the media will see me. What will you tell them?"
"I don't have to tell them anything if we don't want to. If we do tell them anything, we can say we met through a mutual friend while I was home visiting my parents. I'll do my best to keep you away from all that if you don't want to be there. The truth is, I just want someone there I can be myself with. Three weeks of putting on an act and being who they want me to be gets so tiresome. Even if it's just to escape with you after the show in the hotel room, it's enough. Everyone from my manager to the other band members, to the fans, all expect me to act and be a certain way. This isn't who I am. I don't belong up on stage. I enjoy singing, and I am thankful for my career, but you have no idea how bad I wish I could just go hang out at the mall again or walk through the park and watch the ducks. It's like my old life ended when this one started. I miss just being me."
"And how do you know I won't run to the media and tell them my story?" Ky never would, but he was curious how Carson could trust him.
"I don't, but I like to think I know you that well already. I might not know you that well, but my gut tells me I can trust you."
Ky smiled. "You can. I don't want to hurt you or put myself in some kind of media gossip frenzy."
Carson nodded. "I can't promise there won't be questions. I'll introduce you as my boyfriend and leave it at that, but people will want to know more about you."
"And if one of my other customers sees me with you and tells them what I am?"
Carson frowned. "Don't say it like that. What you are is a man who caught my attention. A man I enjoy spending time with. If they choose to try and make that into something dirty, I'll call them on it. I honestly don't think anyone will be digging deep into your past, but we never know. It's not something I'm worried about. I'm not ashamed of being with you or of how we met. I want to protect you all I can, but I won't act like either of us did something wrong meeting the way we did."
Ky nodded, but didn't say anything.
"You want to go with me, don't you? If you don't, then just say so."
Ky thought about leaving Bryan behind for so long, but then he thought about the money. It could be life changing for the two of them. He'd be insane to pass it up. It was a once in a lifetime chance, and no matter what happened with the media or any of that stuff, he needed to focus on what mattered, and that was giving Bryan a life where he didn't have to watch his brother working the streets to pay the bills. He could finally put that part of his life behind him hopefully. "I want to go. Let me talk to my boss and work some things out tomorrow. Can I let you know for sure tomorrow night?"
Carson moved the tray of strawberries from between them and reached out, pulling Ky's naked body to him. "You can take all the time you need. I'm just glad you're considering it. I didn't want tonight to be our last night." He brushed his lips over Ky's mouth.
As Ky eased back and Carson's body pressed down on him, he parted his legs, welcoming him closer. One thing was for sure, three weeks with Carson would hardly be work. What it would be, was hard to keep his heart and his mind separated from what this really was. A business deal. He couldn't forget who he was. It was nice to be wanted, but Carson wasn't his boyfriend. If he did this, he would play the part, but he needed to keep his heart out of it. This was hardly a great American love story.
