Page 3 of As I Am
CHAPTER TWO
Bryan skipped ahead of Ky as they walked through the park near the shelter. It was still warm, even though it was mid-October. It wouldn't be long before the snow was falling again. This would be the first year in a long time that Ky had a roof over his head during the winter. He'd been offered a small apartment when his friend, Angel, had moved out and gotten married. It wasn't much, but considering Ky had lived on the streets for years, it was everything. Knowing he had a warm and safe place for Bryan was the most important thing. He didn't have a lot of money, and what he did have went for rent, but he managed to get by. They still ate a lot of dinners at the shelter, but slowly, Ky was able to offer Bryan a somewhat normal life.
He smiled as he watched Bryan bend down and pick up some trash off the grass and turn to run over to the closest garbage can and throw it away. Bryan was a good kid. He deserved a better life than he had.
When their parents had been killed in an accident years before, they'd been taken to a foster home. Luckily, they were kept together, but that was where the luck ended. At only sixteen, Ky had to fight off advances from his foster mother, and deal with physical abuse from his foster father, who was drunk nearly twenty-four hours a day.
Ky dealt with it as long as he could, but when his foster mother started to show attraction to Bryan, who'd only been five at the time, Ky had grabbed his brother and ran. He wasn't going to sit by and watch anyone hurt his brother. They'd caught up with him that time, and found them new foster homes, but the problem was, they split him up from his brother. He couldn't have that. He'd managed to find out the address where his brother was during a visit they were allowed. Less than a week later, they'd ran.
They'd come down to Utah from Idaho, hoping that it was far enough away that they'd never be found. Now, years later, Ky was finally able to give Bryan a place to live. He worked his ass off to do it, working part time at a restaurant, and turning tricks when he had the time. His hope was that the part time job would turn into a full time, but so far, the hours hadn't opened up. Every dime he made working at the restaurant went to pay rent, leaving him only the little he got from welfare and food stamps to cover other things. It didn't go far. He ended up turning tricks to have just a little extra so they could get by.
The truth was, it was easier to make money having sex than it was working. He could get fifty dollars an hour having sex, but at the restaurant, he hardly made that a day washing dishes. He wasn't complaining. He'd do whatever he had to so that Bryan didn't end up back on the streets. Years of struggling was enough. Now that he had a place to live and a job, he wasn't going back.
He still took full advantage of the programs at the shelter, and while he could enroll Bryan in a regular school now, he kept him at the shelter's school because that was where his friends were and where he was comfortable. It wouldn't last forever. They only let him stay because he'd been enrolled when the year started, but now that they weren't living in the shelter anymore, he'd have to look into other options once the new school year began.
"Hurry up, Ky. I want to show you what I made you at school." Bryan looked back, his hands on his hips as he waited for Ky to catch up.
Ky smiled. "You're not supposed to be making things for me at school. You're supposed to be learning math and stuff."
"Oh, I did that too, but this was for art. We got to draw Halloween pictures and I made you one too."
"That was very nice of you. Have you decided what you are going to be for Halloween yet? You remember that Jess asked if you could go trick or treating with her, right?" He was so thankful that his friend, Angel, was willing to take the kids out. Angel and his husband had adopted Jess after her mother had been murdered. Before all that happened, Bryan and Jess had both lived on the streets and had become good friends.
"I don't know what to be. I was going to be a policeman, but Bobby said I had to be a superhero or something cool like that." Bryan shrugged. "So now I don't know what to be, 'cause I don't know a lot of superheroes."
"Well, maybe we can find out more about some of the superheroes and see if there is one you like. I bet there are a lot of books about them at the library. We can go there tomorrow and see. But, if you really want to be a policeman, that's okay too. Police are heroes too." He wanted Bryan to be whatever he wanted. What stressed him was trying to figure out how to afford and find whatever costume he wanted.
"What are you going to be?" Bryan reached for his hand.
"I'm not sure. I might just go as me." Ky made a silly face. "Aren't I scary enough?"
Bryan laughed and shook his head. "You don't scare me at all."
“I will if you don't practice your spelling words tonight." Ky ran his fingers through Bryan's hair.
"I will," Bryan huffed. "I don't know why I have to know how to spell them when I can ask you for help."
"Because I won't always be around. What about when you're older and have a job?"
Bryan wrinkled his brow. "It's a lot of time before I'm that old." He started up the steps to the apartment.
Ky smiled. Time went faster than his brother knew. In no time, Bryan would be old enough that he'd need a normal life. He'd have friends he'd want to come over, maybe even a girlfriend he would want to take out. That is what pushed Ky to make sure that somehow he could give Bryan as close to a normal life as he could. He wouldn't have his brother living his teen years like he had. He wouldn't have his brother selling his body to strangers just so he could eat.
He unlocked the apartment, and let Bryan run inside before him. Like always, Bryan kicked off his shoes while tossing his backpack aside and ran to turn on the small TV that sat across from the bed.
"Hey, homework before TV." Ky turned the TV back off. "And you can help me make dinner tonight."
"Why do I have to cook?" Bryan pouted.
"Because cooking is something everyone needs to know how to do." Ky nodded to the backpack on the floor. "Get started on that homework. I'm going to get a shower and then I'll check your work." He rustled his brother's hair as he walked past him and headed to the bathroom.
As he started the shower and stripped out of his clothes, he smiled at the pleasant ache in his ass. He'd think about being with Carson for a long time. He couldn't remember having a man like him ever before. It made all the bad times fade as he recalled the scent of Carson's skin as he'd trailed his tongue over his shoulder, and the way Carson's fingers dug into his hips as he'd taken him. If only all the men he'd sold his body to were like him.
It was almost a shame to wash his scent off his body, but when it came down to it, the last thing he needed was to keep thinking about him. Tomorrow there would be another man, one like most of the others, fifty pounds overweight, nervous, and sweaty, telling him how much better he sucked cock than their wife did.
He almost wished he hadn't met Carson, because now he knew how much better it could be with someone. It had been so long since he'd enjoyed sex with anyone. Now it was fresh in his mind. What he did with Carson was more like what lovers do. What boyfriends did. It was probably just like his friend, Angel, did with his husband all the time. It was sweet. It hadn't been a mad rush to get off. It was something slow and enjoyable, every touch and caress meant to please each other.
Ky had never had a boyfriend, but he imagined what it would be like to do that with someone all of the time. To learn someone else's body so well that you knew just how and where to touch them. He wanted that. Wanted it worse now that he'd just had a taste of it.
Stepping into the shower, he shook the thought from his mind. He wasn't meant for things like that. He had to focus on getting a better life for Bryan. If he had a boyfriend, he would never allow Ky to keep selling his body, and that was where Ky made most of his money. He needed to keep doing it so he could make sure Bryan never had to. Nope… Boyfriends were not going to be something he could look forward to anytime soon. The best thing he could do was go back out tomorrow and find some middle-aged man having a mid-life crisis and get right back into doing what he did best. The sooner he forgot about Carson, the sooner he could move on and accept the life he was meant to lead.
Washing the day and the man from his body, he thought about dinner and about where he was going to come up with the extra money for a Halloween costume. He'd just have to put in a few more hours on the streets than he had been. Seeing Bryan smile was worth it, and giving him everything that Ky didn't have growing up was important.
As he stepped from the shower, he was determined to make everything work. He just needed to keep his mind on what was important. Men like Carson were a nice distraction for a moment, but they weren't what Ky's life was about. They were far and few between. He'd enjoy them when they came along, but refused to ever hope he'd have one to call his own.
