Page 30 of As I Am
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Carson took a seat on the long couch inside the charter plane as he looked over at Ky beside him. "Don't be nervous."
"I've never flown before." Ky bit his lip nervously.
"It's not bad. At least not this way. When it's bad is when you're crammed into a tight seat with two other people on either side of you for a five-hour flight. You shouldn't even notice we're in the air, unless you look out the window. And this flight is only a little over an hour. We'll be on the road, in the middle of traffic before you know it." Carson reached over and linked his hand with Ky's. "We can sneak off to the back and join the mile-high club if it helps distract you, but I thought you might actually enjoy watching out the window for a bit. It's kinda cool to see everything from so far up." He watched Ky tighten his seatbelt as the pilot asked them to get ready for takeoff.
"We'll be flying every day?" Ky glanced out the window as the plane started to pull out.
"Almost. I have two shows in Houston, so we'll be there a few days. It just depends on the schedule. Some locations are too far apart to do shows each day. We have to give the buses and trucks time to get where they are going, so we will have some down time. I'd burn out fast if I did shows every night. I've done three in a row before. I think that's about my limit. I need a day here and there to reset."
Ky wrinkled his brow. "I don't mean to be rude, but you just get up there and sing, right?"
Carson smiled. "It's obvious you've never seen any of my shows. I have a huge dance routine I go through. I have six other people who are just dancers. I spend most the time dancing with them as I sing. We work for weeks on choreography before we go out on tour. That, and the bright lights are a lot to withstand. It gets very hot on stage. I know it sounds like it's all simple, but a lot goes into each show. By the time I get off the stage, go through the post-concert meet and greet, and finally get back to my hotel room, I'm burned out and ready for bed."
Ky nodded. "Sorry, I didn't know."
"It's okay. You will see how it all works as we go." Carson reached for Ky's hand. "Tonight, we can just kick back and relax. Tomorrow, my manager is coming to talk over a few things and make sure everything is finalized. We'll meet with the band tomorrow afternoon to talk about any changes we want to make, and maybe run through a few things. We'll have Friday off, then leave first thing on Saturday to head to San Diego. We'll be there for a day, then head to Phoenix, then after that to Houston. I've got the whole list you can look at when we get to my place."
"Did you tell everyone I was going to be with you?" Ky braced as the plane picked up speed.
"I've told my manager, and my drummer, but that's it. No one will mind. I just needed to have my manager arrange for you to be on all my flights and stay with me in the hotels. Other than that, no one minds at all that you're with me."
"Why your drummer and not the rest of your band?"
Carson smiled as the plane lifted off the ground and Ky closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. "It's okay, it will level out in a second and you won't feel a thing." Carson placed his hand on Ky's thigh. "Casey is my drummer and I guess the closest thing I have to a good friend. We don't really hang out or anything, but we do talk on the phone a lot. He and I write most of the songs. We'll spend hours on the phone or on Skype so we can brainstorm. I told him I'd met someone and was bringing them with. Casey is married and his wife comes along sometimes. She's six months pregnant, so she won't be along for this leg of the tour."
"What about your other band members?"
"Kylie is my bass player. She's the youngest of us. She's nineteen. I met her, heard her play, and hired her on the spot. She's got a girlfriend in California, but she never travels with us. She plays on some daytime soap from what Kylie says. I haven't had the chance to meet her yet. Then there is my guitarist, Gene, he keeps to himself. Plays a mean guitar, though. Never says much, only hangs out with us when we are working. Good guy, but don't know much about him. Then there is my manager. Calvin is a great guy. Just worries a bit too much. Not necessarily a bad thing as he double and triple checks to make sure everything is done. He'll come and go. You never know when he will pop up. I know he'll be by tomorrow to finalize everything, but other than that, he does his own thing. I don't worry about him. We work well together, things get done. I also have a publicist who will probably be around once word gets out I'm dating someone. Carrie will want to have us make a statement or something, but we don't have to. I'll leave that up to you."
"What do you mean up to me?" Ky looked worried as went to turn toward Carson, forgetting about the seatbelt.
"I mean I'll leave it up to you to decide if you want me to formally introduce you to the media as my boyfriend or if you want to just let them guess and give no statement."
"Why would we tell them I'm your boyfriend when I'm really not?"
Carson frowned. "Because you really are. At least for the next three weeks you are." He had hope that it would continue after, but it was clear that Ky wasn't thinking that way. He hoped after three weeks together that would change and Carson could convince Ky to give him a chance long-term. "I'm fine if you don't want to give a statement, or if you just want me to say I've met someone and would like my privacy. We'll see how things go. Fans are going to want to know about you. I've been single since I started singing. It's going to be a shock for people to see someone by my side for a change."
"But you've had other men…."
"I have, but they are just a one-night thing. Someone I took back to the hotel for sex. I've never seen any of them more than once. You will be with me on the whole tour. That will get noticed."
"I won't have to talk to anyone, will I?"
"Not unless you want to. I'll be with you anytime media is around. You can just let me handle them, but if you want to say something, I won't mind. Just be yourself." Carson wondered if he'd made a mistake asking Ky to come with him. As much as he wanted him by his side, he hadn't thought about how life changing this was going to be for Ky. His face would be in magazines. The media would want to know more about him. It was a drastic difference from the life Ky knew.
Ky took a deep breath and slowly turned to look out the window as the plane evened out in the air. "I just don't want to embarrass you."
"You won't. If I was worried about that I wouldn't have asked you to come. I'm proud to have you with me. I'm excited to be able to ignore fans because I have someone special by my side. I might embarrass you before you embarrass me."
Ky laughed. "That's not going to happen."
"Seriously, Ky, don't stress on things. Just be yourself. That's who I was attracted to that first day we met, and it's who I'm attracted to now. Like any new relationship this is going to take time to find what is comfortable for us, but I know we can make it work. I want this to work."
Ky took a deep breath. "I'll do my best."
Carson unhooked his seat belt and turned to face Ky, cupping his hands on either side of his face. "I wish we had more time before I went on tour. I would have liked to date you, get to know you better. I know this is a lot to deal with, but don't you for a minute think that I don't want you with me or that I would ever be ashamed of you. You just don't see in yourself what I see. You're different than all the other men I've met. There is something about you that I miss when we aren't together. I know you think this is a job, but to me it's not. Yes, I'm paying you so that you could come with me and not have to worry about money, but I asked you so I could have you by my side. It might be the most unconventional dating anyone has done, but it's all I can offer you right now."
Ky leaned into him. "I'm so used to having stuff like this be a job that I don't know how to do the dating thing. I know how to do sex. It's all this other stuff that I get nervous about. What if I mess up?"
"You can't mess up, Ky. That's the thing. I like who you are. As long as you just be yourself, that's perfect for me. Sex is what you do. It's not who you are in here." Carson tapped on Ky's chest. "If I thought for a moment I could resist you, I swear we'd go the whole time without sex just so I could show you what I mean, but I know I won't be able to keep from taking things sexual. Sex is too good between us. I like the intimacy, but I also like getting to know you. Having you get to know me. It's been a long time since I could talk about my past, my family, the things I used to love to do. I can do all that with you. You don't look at me like I've lost my mind when I say I hate parts of being famous. With you, I can be me."
As he wrapped his arms around Ky and drew him close, he realized he had a long way to go to getting Ky to see them as a serious thing. It was clear he thought of this as a job, and until Carson could change that, there wasn't much else he could do.
