Page 36 of As I Am
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Ky looked around the large arena as fans started to fill the seats. Calvin had mentioned it was a sold-out show, which meant over twenty thousand people. Ky couldn't imagine standing up on stage in front of that many people. How did Carson do it?
He'd been amazed at the sound check and how well Carson sang. He'd only heard the one video that Seth had made him watch, but seeing Carson sing in person was entirely different. He could feel the emotions in his voice, see the way he looked down at the people in front of the stage, and wow, how he could dance. He was shocked to see Carson fall into step with the dancers on stage, moving his body unlike Ky had ever seen.
Watching him, something deep inside Ky changed. As hard as he tried to think of Carson as nothing more than someone who hired him for a job, he couldn't stop himself from being proud that Carson was his, if even just for a little while. He liked the looks of jealousy people shot them when they kissed in public, and the way Carson always seemed to be touching him one way or another when they were together. It was strange to feel like he was wanted, and even important.
At first, he thought it would be awkward having people watching them all the time. The cameras did take a bit to get used to, but Ky just put on a smile and focused on Carson. As long as he thought about Carson, everything seemed easy.
Now, standing backstage as everyone was getting ready for the concert to start, he found himself seeing another side of Carson. Not a bad side, but a different one. It was clear that when he was around the band and getting ready to perform, he changed who he was. He was more professional, more serious, more like someone trying to live up to the idol that everyone saw him as.
Ky understood now what he meant by he wanted Ky with him because he could be himself. While Carson the performer wasn't a bad person, he wasn't the same Carson that Ky found himself wanting to be around all the time. Dare he even say, found himself having emotions which were starting to scare him?
He sighed as he watched Carson talking to his band. He needed to find a way to keep the feelings he was having for Carson from growing. He had three weeks, then Carson would go back to his life, and he would go back to his. He needed to remember Bryan was home waiting for him, and while the ten thousand dollars would help get them on their feet, he also had to make sure that the job at the bakery could keep them there. It wasn't going to be easy. It also wasn't going to be easy not having Carson around all the time. He'd grown used to being with him, holding him at night in bed, and really enjoyed sex for a change. It was nice knowing his pleasure mattered just as much as Carson's did. Sometimes it seemed like Carson worried about Ky's pleasure even more than he did his own.
"Ky." Carson waved him over.
Ky felt strange around the band, as if they all knew what he was and just tolerated him as Carson's new toy for the next few weeks. None of them had done anything to really imply they felt that way, but he still didn't feel right hanging around with them when they were all together. "Hi." He stepped to Carson, enjoying the way his arm went around his waist.
"Hey." Carson kissed him. "So Klimax is about to take the stage. Do you want to watch them or hang out in the dressing room with us?"
Ky glanced around at the band before looking back at Carson. "I think I'll watch. You guys have to get ready and I'll be in the way."
"You're never in the way. When Klimax ends, come back to the dressing room. I want a kiss before I go up on stage. Intermission will be about a half an hour. You get tired of watching any time tonight, you can come back here. Calvin will be around, and you are welcome to just kick back in the dressing room or on the bus. This will get you back without question." He tapped on the laminated badge hanging around Ky's neck. "After I finish, I'll meet you in the dressing room, then we can go to the meet and greet together." He brushed a kiss over Ky's lips before whispering in his ear, "then we can escape to the hotel and you can help me relieve some of the energy I have left over." His lips grazed Ky's ear.
Ky took a breath to steady the desire that flared to life. They hadn't had sex since arriving in San Diego, and he missed it. Which for him was saying something. Sex wasn't something he ever looked forward to. He had so much of it, and it was never good, but with Carson, it was different. He was aroused, excited, and craving more of his touch. Everything they did was unlike anything he'd ever done with anyone else. "Then this won't be over soon enough." Ky met his gaze for a long moment before stepping away from Carson's side. "Go do what you need to. I'll be fine." He ran his fingers over Carson's arm before turning and heading out to find his seat.
After asking an usher to help him figure out which was section F1 and F2, he finally found where he was sitting, surprised to be in the front row, almost center stage. He looked around, feeling guilty that he was taking such a good seat from one of the fans. Yeah, Calvin had told him the ticket was on reserve for the band to use however they wanted, but it still didn't seem right.
It was too late to do anything. The arena was filling fast, and he had seen the opening band backstage, getting ready to go on. As he took his seat, he thought about how this was his first concert. He'd been to a few little things with his parents, but never anything like this. A concert in the park by the local fiddle player didn't even compare. There were so many things other guys his age had experienced, but due to his life being so different, Ky never had the chance to do any of it. Carson was giving him the chance to live a life he'd never dreamed of. It might only be for three weeks, but he could now say he knew how the rich and famous lived.
"Hi."
Ky turned at the sound of a young voice. For a second he expected to see his brother, Bryan, there when he turned, but it wasn't him. It was the young kid he'd given the tickets to earlier in the day. "Hi there. I'm glad you came."
"Thank you for the tickets. I wouldn't have been able to come without them." The boy smiled up at his mother who was standing behind him. "We have seats right next to you."
Ky was surprised, but pleased at that news. "Do you? That is fantastic. I didn't know I was going to get such a good seat tonight. Now I'm lucky enough to find out I get to sit next to you." He smiled as he pushed the seat cushion down beside him so the kid could sit.
Once he and his mother were settled, the kid looked over at him. "How come you didn't think you'd get a good seat? You're his boyfriend, right?"
"I am, but we just started dating. Can I tell you a secret?"
The boy nodded and leaned closer. "I've never seen Carson in concert before. This is my first time."
The boy's mother looked shocked.
"Really? It's my first time too. Mom tried to tell me I was too young, but when you gave us the tickets, she couldn't say no, could you mom?"
The boy's mother shook her head. "We both like Carson's music. Thank you again for giving us a chance to be here."
Ky smiled. "It was my pleasure. You'll get to meet Carson tonight after the show too."
"I know. I'm nervous."
"Don't be. Carson's really nice. He'll love to meet you. He even told me I picked the perfect people to give those passes too. What's your name?"
"Nathan."
