Page 38 of As I Am
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Carson wiped the sweat from his brow as he took the bottle of water that Calvin handed to him. The echo of the crowd still cheering filled the arena as the fans begged him to come back for a third encore. He glanced at the rest of the band, all of them just as tired and sweaty. They put on a two-hour show, but it was constant moving and high energy.
"Okay guys, one more song." Calvin snagged the water bottle out of Carson's hand. "Let's close the show with some energy."
"Easy for you to say. You aren't the one on stage." Kylie rolled her eyes.
"Like anyone would pay to watch me." Calvin smiled as he took her water bottle too. "Come on, folks. It's the first show of a long tour. Don't start complaining already. You guys kicked ass out there tonight. Get up there and give them a little,After Tomorrow. You know they've all been waiting to hear it."
Carson rolled his shoulders. It was true. That was the one song that they had requested more than any other. "Ready?" Carson ran his fingers through his hair before using a towel to wipe his forehead again. He held the towel tightly in his hand as he ran back on stage. Once the crowd noticed them in the darkness, they went wild. Carson smiled, waiting until the lights came back up, and Gene started playing a slow guitar riff. He waved at the crowd, looking at all the faces, trying to make eye contact with everyone he could. He paused as he saw Ky sitting in the front row. Having him there for the whole show had been motivating. Unlike other shows, having Ky there reminded him that he wouldn't be alone once he got back to the hotel, and he wouldn't have some no-name fan in his bed. He'd have Ky. He had to force himself to keep from singing just to Ky, but he had caught himself more than once standing directly in front of him, staring down into his beautiful eyes as he sang.
Forcing his mind off Ky, he took the towel, again making a show of wiping the sweat from his neck before going to the edge of the stage and tossing the towel into the crowd. He watched as some girl snagged it, clutching it to her chest as she screamed with excitement.
The guitar riff slowed, and Carson quickly headed for the center of the stage as he flipped the switch on his headset to on. He slowly counted down in his mind and right on key started singing.
The song was one of his favorites. It was a love song about a first date and asking the question where do we go from here. As he sang the words, he thought about Ky, wondering the same thing. Where would they go one this was all over? Carson hoped there would be more. He wanted an honest relationship with Ky. He needed to somehow convince Ky that he really was serious about how he felt and that he did want more than their three weeks together. The question was, did Ky want more?
He had such a hard time reading Ky. One minute he acted like he was enjoying being with him, then the next he was bringing up money and how he'd been hired to be there. Carson wished he'd never offered the money, but he was sure Ky wouldn't have come if he hadn't. He just wished he could get Ky to see that there was something between them. Something more than great sex. Somehow, he needed to find a way to show Ky that he was wanted for more than what his body could offer. Carson had to remember that Ky had never been with anyone who didn't want to use him. His whole life was about selling his body. Carson just needed to show him that he wanted him for more than that. He wanted his heart.
As the song ended, Carson took time to thank the crowd as the rest of the band bowed and waved. They ran off stage first, leaving him for the final farewell. He worked his way across the stage, stopping to bow and wave to each section of the audience. Sweat ran down his spine as he rushed off the stage one final time, glad the night was nearly over.
"Great show, Carson. They loved you." Calvin was by his side. "You've got thirty before you have to be at the meet and greet. Go shower and do what you need to. I'll be by to grab you once it's time."
Carson nodded as he acknowledged the arena security who had been shadowing him all afternoon and evening. He had his own security there too, but he felt the need to always be polite and thank the locals who helped. The concert would never happen without them.
It was a short walk back to the dressing room, and he was glad to get inside and close the door, leaving the world outside for a few minutes. The rest of the band was with him, all sitting around, letting the excitement of the night ease. They wouldn't join him for the meet and greet. They'd gone with him for the first few concerts they did, and he left them an open invitation to join any time they wanted, but it was clear that the fans were there to see him, and the band was just background. He wished it wasn't that way, but there wasn't much he could do. Most of them had come along after he'd found his fame, and fans just thought of him as a solo act and not a band.
He pulled off his shirt just as the door to the dressing room opened and Ky stepped inside. He smiled as his gaze traveled over Carson. "Hey, great show."
Carson tossed his shirt on his bag and stepped to Ky, pulling him into his arms. "Did you like it?"
Ky lowered his voice. "Watching you dance like that turned me on."
Carson laughed. "I'm happy to dance for you anytime."
Ky pulled back. "You're soaking wet."
"Yeah, sorry. It's hot up on stage. I sweat a ton. Let me shower, then you can tell me all about all the things my dancing made you think about." He kissed Ky softly before turning and running for the shower in the back of the dressing room.
He quickly stripped, glad to feel the water cascade over him as he stepped under the warm spray. He'd need another after he got back to the hotel, but at least this would keep him from stinking once he was meeting fans.
As he quickly washed his hair, he wondered if this life would ever get old for Ky. Was he someone who could adapt to living half the year on the road? Would he be willing to leave everything he knew and come on tour with him all the time? It was a lot to ask of anyone, but Ky didn't seem to have a lot of things keeping him tied down. It gave Carson hope that, in time, he might be able to bring up the idea of him joining him again when the next leg of the tour started.
He was even due to go to Europe the first of the year. He would love to take Ky with him. He'd never been there before, and having Ky with him to experience it would make it even better.
Again, he realized he was getting ahead of himself. First, he needed to get Ky to agree to just be his boyfriend. A real boyfriend. Not one just because he was paying him and needed someone in his arms to keep the fans from trying to seduce him all the time.
Clean and feeling alive again, Carson stepped out of the shower and quickly changed into a new pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He ran his fingers through his damp hair as he walked back out front.
Ky was sitting with Kylie, laughing at something she said. Carson was glad to see Ky finally interacting with the band. These were his closest friends, and he wanted the man in his life to get along with all of them. He paused beside Ky and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Let me do my hair and I'm done until Calvin comes to grab us."
Ky nodded, and Carson left him talking to Kylie as he grabbed his brush and headed to the closest mirror to make sure his hair wasn't all over the place. He wasn't vain, but he did have an image to keep up with the fans. Looking in the mirror, he watched Ky, taking in how comfortable he finally looked. Slowly, he was opening up and not so guarded. It was nice to see.
Calvin had questioned him about where they met and about Ky's background, but he'd told Calvin to butt out. It was none of his business. He was expecting a call from his publicist once the media broke the news that he had a boyfriend. Carrie would want information, but he would tell her that Ky didn't want attention, at least not any more than being by his side might bring. His past and his life were to remain a secret, at least as long as they could. He hated to think what it would be like for Ky if his past was found out. Carson wasn't embarrassed by it or even how they met, but he didn't want Ky to have to go through the torture the media would put him through.
Satisfied with how he looked, he made his way over to where Ky was and stood behind him, resting his hands on his shoulders.
"So Ky was telling me about this bakery he's going to be working in. Can you believe it's supposed to be healthy?" Kaylie shook her head. "I'm in trouble if they find a way to make chocolate not fattening and still taste good."
