Page 42 of As I Am
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Carson rolled over and watched Ky sleeping beside him. He couldn't get enough of watching him sleep. It was a chance to appreciate his soft features and the gentle curves of his naked body.
They'd come back to the hotel late, and after a very long and erotic shower together, they'd sat down for a late dinner as they talked about the night.
It was strange to hear Ky's thoughts on the concert. He hadn't noticed the things that Carson thought he would. Instead, he caught little things, like the way Carson whispered things to the other band members, the way he'd paid attention to the other dancers, making sure they were in step. It was all things that most people never noticed, but Ky had seen it all.
He said watching the crowd's reaction to him was overwhelming. Carson had to agree. It had taken a long time to get used to having so many people watching him perform and so many people screaming his name all the time.
Carson had been impressed with how Ky had taken a part in making the night a better experience for the young boy he'd met. At first, he'd been worried about Ky walking out through the crowd at the meet and greet without security, but luckily, very few must have known who he was, because no one bothered him. Watching Ky with the kid stirred something deep inside Carson. Ky was great with children, and for the first time in his life, Carson was thinking about how great it would be to have kids someday. Of course, Ky played a huge role in that fantasy, because in every imagined scenario he dreamed up, it was Ky right beside him with the kids they had.
His feelings for Ky were growing faster than he'd expected. Every minute they spent together, he was wondering what he needed to do to make this a permanent thing. He was struggling not to rush things and tell Ky everything he was feeling.
The fact that Ky was still so offish at times, and treating this like a job more often than treating it like a relationship, kept Carson from opening up and admitting that he was slowly falling in love with him. He was sure that Ky was far from ready to start thinking about long-term. Hell, half the time, it seemed like Ky couldn't wait to get back home and be done with this. The fact that Ky could honestly not feel anything for him and was just using him for the money he'd offered to pay him hurt. He tried hard not to think about it, but it was always a nagging thought in the back of his mind.
He glanced at the clock, sighing when he saw they only had an hour to get ready before they needed to leave for the airport. Ky didn't have much to pack, but Carson did. It was hard seeing Ky pull out two pairs of pants and a couple t-shirts. Carson was determined to find a way to get Ky more clothes, but he was sure Ky wouldn't go shopping alone. He hated that he couldn't go with him, and he really didn't want to make Ky suffer with Calvin and send them out together. Calvin was a good enough manager, but he didn't have a lot of personality, and he had no sense of style.
Ky rolled to his side and opened his eyes. "I can feel you watching me." His voice was soft and still sleepy.
"I like watching you sleep." Carson ran his fingers down Ky's upper arm.
"What if I'm drooling or something gross?" Ky closed his eyes again.
"I'd still find that sexy."
"You're a fool."
"Yourfool." Carson kissed his shoulder softly, then trailed kisses down his chest.
"What do you think about when you watch me?"
Carson smiled. "A lot of things. This morning I was thinking about how I should send you and Kylie out shopping once we get to Houston. I'd love to go with you, but I can't. Most people don't know who she is, so I could send you two out on a spree."
"I don't need anything."
"I disagree. You deserve some new clothes. I mean what you have is fine, but do you really want to have to do laundry every two or three days? Let me buy you some new stuff."
"That wasn't part of our deal," Ky mumbled.
"No, but not everything has to be prearranged. Can't I buy my boyfriend stuff?"
Ky pulled the pillow closer as he rolled to his side, his eyes still closed. "You're already paying me enough. You don't need to spend more on me."
Carson sighed. "Even if I want to?"
Ky bit his bottom lip.
Carson tapped his finger against Ky's lip. "Stop that. You'll chew a hole in it." He moved closer so he was spooned against Ky's body. "How long has it been since you've gone shopping for yourself?"
Ky shrugged, his eyes still closed. "Since my parents were alive."
Carson suppressed his surprise. That was over five years ago at least. "Then don't you think it's time you did? I have the money. Let me spend it on you. Go out with Kylie, get lunch, and do some shopping. Get yourself some new stuff for your new job. I wish I could take you myself, but that would take days to plan. We're in Houston for three days. We don't have a show tonight. There's no reason you should be stuck in the hotel room with me. Go see the sights and enjoy yourself. I'm sure Kylie will be excited to go. That girl can shop like no other I've seen."
Ky blew out a long breath. "You make this so hard."
"Make what hard?" Carson tightened his arms around Ky.
"Being with you."
