Page 50 of As I Am
"Hey, you two, take it to the hotel. We don't need to be reminded we aren't getting laid tonight." Kylie tossed an empty water bottle at them.
"Speak for yourself." Gene laughed. "I plan on finding me some sweet thing, and spending the night letting her worship me."
Ky rolled his eyes at him, but thought about how Carson used to do the same thing before they met. He wondered how he picked who he'd take to bed. Would it be some guy like the one in the front row offering himself up to Carson all night? He wasn't sure he really wanted to know.
"Come on. Let's leave this group to their drinking. You and I have better things to focus on." Carson kissed Ky hard, thrusting his hips forward.
Ky was shocked to find him rock hard. It was the last thing he expected after putting on a two-hour show, but it didn't matter, his reaction was instantaneous as he pressed back, swaying his hips to cause friction between them. He wanted Carson just as bad.
"You have a meet and greet," Casey reminded them.
"Nope, it was pre-show this time. I have all night to devour my prey." Carson reached for his bag before linking fingers with Ky and pulling him out the door.
"Prey?" Ky grinned as they headed through the halls of the arena, ignoring security who was tailing them.
"Yes, I plan on having my mouth on every inch of your body before the night is over." Carson nodded to the security guard who opened the limo door for them.
"The guy in the front row turn you on this much?" Ky laughed as Carson tugged him onto his lap once they were seated.
"It wasn't the guy in the front row. It was thoughts of how I no longer need to deal with men like the one in the front row. The whole time I was singing, I was thinking about you and how wonderful my life is since you've been by my side." He slid his hand under Ky's shirt. "I looked out over the crowd and realized I have everything I could want right here in my arms."
Ky kissed him hard, wishing he dared tell Carson how he really felt about him. They were three little words, but until he told Carson about Bryan, they were words he wasn't going to say. He'd never loved someone before, at least that wasn't related. Still, he was sure of what he was feeling. The thought of losing Carson was almost a physical pain, and when he tried to find the nerve to tell Carson about Bryan, he always chickened out, unable to risk that he wouldn't want Bryan in their lives and he would lose Carson because of it.
As he broke the kiss, Ky cupped Carson's face. "You mean so much to me. I hope you know that."
"You have no idea how much I'm dreading this tour ending and not being able to be with you every day," Carson told him. "I want to stay in Utah during my break and look for a house there. I'm going to sell the one in California. It's not home. It's not where I want to be. It might mean I have to travel more, but I can't be there when you're not. I get we'll have to be apart when I'm on tour, but even then, I can fly you out on your days off. I can arrange to fly to you when I get a couple days' break. We'll figure it out."
Ky wished it would be that easy, but with Bryan, he wouldn't be able to come and go like Carson wanted. He wouldn't be able to spend nights together at Carson's house. Once he knew about Bryan, it would change everything between them.
As he stared into Carson's eyes, he refused to even think about it for the time being. He had a week left, and he was going to live it like it would never end. "We'll figure it all out," Ky said, hoping the words were true. "For now, we have a week. I don't want to think past that."
The car came to a stop and Ky slid from Carson's lap just as the door opened. He got used to being in the limo all the time. It was no longer overwhelming to be treated so well and protected. It was just how life was around Carson.
He climbed out of the car and waited as Carson followed him. Fans screamed in the distance, but Ky didn't bother looking. It had become almost background noise after weeks of experiencing it.
"This way, Mr. Childs." Hotel security led them inside to the waiting elevator.
They stayed silent for the ride up, but once in the privacy of their hotel room, Carson pulled Ky to him and kissed him hard.
"I need a shower, then I am going to spend the night exploring every inch of you." Carson made sure the door was locked before leading Ky into the bathroom. "All I could think about tonight was you."
"I'm right here. I'm always here for you." Ky was already stripping off his clothes.
"I don't know what it was about tonight, but all I could think about while I faced the fans was how much I wanted to be here, alone with you. I didn't want to sing. I didn't want to perform. I just wanted to hide away with you and forget everything out there." Carson turned on the water in the shower. "If I could have cancelled tonight I would have."
"Why? What is different about tonight?" Ky stepped into the water.
"I don't know. I guess I'm just tired. I had one mother try to set me up with her daughter at the meet and greet today. She had a whole portfolio to give me, filled with pictures of her daughter and details about why she was perfect for me. Even after I told her I was seeing someone, she insisted I take the portfolio. The woman doesn't even know me. Her daughter doesn't know me. I'm gay, damn it. Yet, they still keep trying. That one guy the other day who begged to join you and me in bed. It just never ends. Why can't they understand that I have who I want? You'd think they would see me with you and back off."
"It's just because of your fame. It makes people crazy." Ky was trying to ignore the voice in his head, wondering if Carson only kept him around to keep fans at bay. In his heart he knew that wasn't true, but then what would happen when he wasn't there? When the fans didn't see Ky beside Carson. Would he be out of sight, out of mind? Would Carson want someone who could be with him all the time? Ky couldn't be that person, not with his brother to take care of.
"I'm sure I'm just tired, but tonight they really got to me. Those girls stripping pissed me off. I have a lot of young fans at my shows. That isn't what I want them to be about. I want it to be a family show." Carson tipped his head back, allowing the water to wash over his hair.
Ky wasn't sure what was really bothering Carson. It had to be more than the show and the fans, but he wasn't going to push. What he would do was see if he could help him relax and forget whatever it was that had him so worked up.
"Let me wash you." Ky reached for the soap and cloth before turning Carson to face him. He slowly washed his body, paying attention to every inch of skin, and going slow enough that it soothed Carson. "Forget about the fans tonight. Just focus on us." He knelt down, working the soap over Carson's legs, then up his thighs to his hardening cock.
Carson watched him from above, his head tilted forward, his hair dripping streams of water down over Ky's body. His hands were pressed to the shower wall, his legs spread, allowing Ky to work the soap over his balls.
Ky saw him relax, his breaths coming more smoothly and the tension in his muscles relaxing. He leaned closer as he reached behind Carson, washing over the cheeks of his ass while also allowing Carson's cock to brush over his face.
He smiled as Carson slightly worked his hips, moving so the head of his cock found Ky's lips. Ky didn't resist. He was more than happy to give Carson what he needed. Opening his mouth, he sucked Carson's cock in, taking him deep before easing off and teasing him with his tongue.
"Fuck, you always know what I need." Carson's hands fell to Ky's head, his fingers grasping at his hair.
Ky licked the head of his cock before sucking him deep again. He held him there, swallowing around him, allowing Carson to feel his throat tightening around him before again, sliding him almost out of his mouth. He repeated this several times, before finally finding a solid rhythm and working to bring Carson his release.
As Carson's legs started to tremble, Ky hoped that somehow, he could help Carson forget the man who stood on stage every night and show him just how much he loved the man who was with him now. He'd take him to bed, help him forget, at least until tomorrow, when Carson would have to face it all again.
