Page 56 of As I Am
"Yeah, just didn't sleep much. I have a lot on my mind." Carson still didn't look at him.
"Anything I can help with?" He hoped Carson would give him a clue as to why he was being so different and offish.
"No, I just need to think." Carson stood and grabbed two of his suitcases. "We better make sure we are ready. The car will be here soon."
Ky closed his eyes, wishing Carson would just say something. Fighting would be better than being ignored. If he would just say that they were over, at least Ky would know for sure and be able to prepare himself for the pain. He was pretty sure he knew already, but until he heard the words from Carson, he still held onto a little hope. He just couldn't see how Carson could fake everything they shared over the last three weeks.
He picked up the last two of Carson's bags and took them out. Once everything was set by the front door, he made his way through each room, making sure they hadn't forgotten anything. He was relieved when the hotel phone rang to let them know the limo was waiting for them, and someone would be up to get their bags and escort them down.
Ky sat down on the couch as he waited, glancing at Carson, who sat in a single chair across from him. He had a million things he wanted to say, but he wasn't going to start this conversation just to have people knock on the door. They'd have time on the plane to talk. At least Ky hoped so.
Carson ignored him for the most part as they finally made their way downstairs. It wasn't until the elevator opened to the lobby and they faced the public and numerous fans that Carson closed the distance between them, walking side by side.
It pissed Ky off that suddenly, just because they were in public, he would act like everything was fine. He wanted to call him on it, but he wasn't about to make a scene with people watching. As much as he hated it, he understood why. Carson's public life wasn't his private life, and it was easier to put on an act than to deal with the fallout of having people see them arguing.
He wondered how Carson would handle the media once things were over. It was well known now that they were a couple. If he suddenly started being seen with other men, people would talk. Even if Carson just stayed single, people would ask questions about their relationship.
He wanted to say this whole thing had been a joke, but he couldn't. He had the time of his life over the last few weeks, and fallen in love with an amazing man. No matter what pain came from it all, he wouldn't have missed any of it.
As they slid into the limo, security by their sides, Ky bit his tongue. Once they were on the plane he'd demand answers, but he wouldn't risk anyone over-hearing them. The limo wasn't the place. When Carson scooted to the far side of the backseat, Ky let him have his space, the few feet between them feeling like miles.
