Page 57 of As I Am
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Carson stepped onto the plane, dreading the three hours he was going to be trapped in the back of the plane with Ky. He was being an asshole, he was well aware of that, but after spending the night tossing and turning, thinking about the phone call he'd overheard, he just didn't know what else to do. He couldn't pretend everything was okay. He'd done that the whole night and it about drove him insane.
He owed Ky an explanation, but Ky owed him a bigger one. He was the one who'd been lying through this whole thing. He could have told him about his boyfriend back home before they left. It might have changed him wanting Ky to go with him, but it also would have saved him from falling in love with Ky while they were on tour.
He tossed his sunglasses down on a small table inside the plane and readied himself for takeoff. The sooner they were home, the sooner he could get on with his life. He'd been a fool to think that someone would actually want him. All anyone wanted was what his fame could give them.
Ky sat down on the same couch, but several feet away, clasping his seatbelt into place. He glanced at Carson, but remained silent as the stewardess and flight crew were still around. Carson was thankful for that. What happened between them was nobody's business. He didn't need to look like a fool in front of them. It was bad enough he let Ky play him for one at all.
He closed his eyes as everything was prepared, and didn't open them again until they were headed down the runway.
Once they were in the air, the captain announced it looked to be an uneventful flight and that they should make good time. Carson was glad for that. The sooner this was over the better he'd be. Just looking at Ky made his heart break all over again.
"Can I get you two anything?" The stewardess asked.
Ky shook his head. "No thanks."
"You, Mr. Childs?"
Carson undid his seat belt, stretching his legs out. "No thanks."
"Then I'll leave you two alone. Just push this button if you should need anything. There are cold drinks and snacks near the front." She made her way out of the main area of the plane.
Silence filled the interior of the plane once they were alone. Three hours like this was going to drive him mad. He needed to say something, but didn't even know where to begin.
He stared out the window, trying to figure out a way to tell Ky he knew about his game, but the words he thought to say all sounded wrong. Finally, he turned to Ky, and not knowing what to say, he cleared his throat.
Ky turned and looked at him, his eyes filled with pain.
That surprised Carson. He didn't expect that from a guy who had been playing him for weeks. He ran his hand through his hair. "Um, when we get back, the limo will take us to my parents' house as originally planned. I'll drive you home after that. We can get your money then too, if you want."
Ky huffed and turned away. "Keep your damn money. I don't want it."
"What?" Carson's temper flared. "Wasn't that why you did this? So you and your boyfriend would have money to make a better life for yourself?"
"What boyfriend?" Ky glared at him. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Don't play games. I heard you on the phone yesterday." Carson stood up and started to pace the small area of the plane. "You really had me fooled. All this time I thought you were serious about how you felt about me, but that was my mistake, because looking back, we never really talked about what you felt. I was always the one telling you I wanted more, that I wanted to have a relationship continue once we got home. So, I guess I'm the fool. I'm the one who didn't see the truth. I should have, but you weren't like the rest of them. You never let on that you were using me. I honestly thought we had something between us." Carson gripped the back of one of the seats, his back to Ky. "I believed it enough that I fell in love with you. You must be laughing all the way to the bank. It was all about the money the whole time, wasn't it?"
"You love me?" Ky's voice was barely a whisper.
"Yeah, makes it even funnier, doesn't it? You played me so well that I never had a clue that what we shared wasn't real. Maybe you should be the performer, because you put on a better act than I ever could. It's okay. I'll get by. I always do. You and your boyfriend go ahead and laugh as you spend the money you earned baring your ass for me."
Ky was suddenly behind him. "Fuck you, Carson! Just fuck you. I just told you I don't want your fucking money. Yeah, that might have been how this all started, but it's not that way now. I haven't lied about my feelings for you. None of what we shared was fake."
"So, your boyfriend is okay with you fucking another man and acting like you have feelings for him?"
"What boyfriend?" Ky grabbed Carson's arm. "I don't have a boyfriend."
Carson jerked his arm away and turned to face him. "Don't lie to me anymore, Ky. I heard you on the phone with him yesterday. You said you were excited to get home to him and that you two could get a bigger apartment when you got there. That was right before you told him you loved him."
Ky stepped back, a look of shock on his face. He shook his head. "That wasn't… Oh my God, it all makes sense now. This is why you're giving me the cold shoulder. You think I've been lying to you." He ran his fingers through his hair and turned around, walking a few feet away before turning back. "I don't have a boyfriend, Carson. I don't deny I said any of those things on the phone, but it wasn't to a boyfriend."
Carson rolled his eyes. "What? A girlfriend?"
Ky took a deep breath. "I'm not going to fight with you over this. If you want this to end, then there is nothing I can do about it, but if what you said is true and you truly do love me, then you will give me a chance to explain, but not here. Not like this. If you want what we have to go on, then you'll come inside with me when you take me home. It will all make sense then. I fucked up not telling you everything before, but I swear to you, Carson, there is no other man. I haven't lied about a single thing we've shared. It's all been true."
"Why can't you just explain it now? Do you need to get home to him for backup?"
